The American Bluejacket's White Hat

[Ed Toner]

The American Bluejacket's White Hat

by Bob 'Dex' Armstrong

The old trusty raghat was the worldwide symbol of what we were. It was the
hallmark of the cocky,
light-hearted American bluejacket… The good guys of the sea… Slayers of
iron monsters and evil
naval power dragons. The men who poured forth from naval warships flying
the internationally
recognized symbol of freedom to ratchet up the pace of life in sleepy
seaports.

The telltale symbol of the American sailor was the hat. It was
traditionally worn in a variety of ways…
Over one eye… Parked above the bridge of the nose… Cocked to one side or
worn perched on the
back of the head. This total lack of uniformity was taken by the navy's
appointed nannies, the United
States Marine Corps, as a nose-thumbing gesture directed at good order,
discipline and the
foundations of civilized society. The United States Marine Corps has
difficulty understanding that
there are men in our armed forces who are not totally enamored with
dressing up like an organ
grinders monkey, marching in step and singing a hymn about spending
eternity pulling some kind of
watch on the streets of paradise.

His 'screw it all' attitude is the hallmark of American sailors… Or let's
say, "It used to be".

So do yourself a favor… Rent the video Sand Pebbles with Steve McQueen or
The Last Detail with
Jack Nicholson and take a good look at the way an American white hat
should be worn… Better yet,
watch the entire Victory At Sea series and look at the way the greatest
generation wore their hats.
Let's call it 'war-winner' style. What idiot jaybird came up with that
toilet hopper look of the present
day white hat? You know the one… The perfectly round bidet bowl with the
rolled lip? It looks
stupid… Looks like someone threaded his head and screwed a porcelain
birdbath on the bastard.

The Navy's elite honor guard looks silly with their perfectly symmetrical
tankless toilet hats. Honor
Guards are mostly composed of shore duty ballet-trained show ponies. They
wear braided tassels
on their shoulders that represent nothing but the fact that they have
learned dance step routines and
rifle tricks like baton twirlers… It doesn't have a damn thing to do with
seagoing sailoring. They are
certainly not a model for emulation by saltwater bluejackets.

Who was responsible for this travesty, this senseless dickering with one
of the finest national
symbols of a justifiable proud naval force? When is naval leadership going
to quite monkeying in the
world of silly fashion statement and get the hell back to saltwater
sailoring?

It is an unfortunate fact that the decisions involving the raghats uniform
and the imposition of
unwanted unnecessary change are officers, who never wore the white hat
long enough to form the
affection for it that we did… And lace pantied fashion designers whose
only connection with sea
service or the military is hawking senseless unnecessary change at the
expense of tradition founded
in blood sacrifice. This shipmates, is a crying bloody shame, a sad
commentary on present day
leadership who spend one helluva lot of their time wondering about morale.

If some ranking admiral with influence and a set of deepwater cajones,
would send out a directive to
the effect that the days of Betty Crocker bowl bluejacket headgear had
come to 'all stop' and that the
naval establishment would be returning to the World War II winner look, he
would become an
overnight hero.

Mr. Admiral, sir… Do it soon… Authorize wings in the hats again… Not only
authorize it, gahdammit,
encourage it… It would be a very meaningful gift to your sailors.

At some point this spring around Memorial Day, the nation is scheduled to
dedicate the World War II
Memorial. The United States Naval Ceremonial Guard will be present at many
of the festivities. Make
them look like real sailors and not like clueless, fresh out of boot camp
shore duty jaybirds.

I have been to a number of ceremonial functions where these hybrid almost
weird folks appear…
They look like choreographed circus ponies wearing those silly, stupid
looking ceramic spittoon
bonnets.

Always some old barnacle encrusted veteran seadog whispers under his
breath,

"What in the hell is that, and where in God's name did they come up width
those gahdam clown
hats?"

Admiral, allow sailors the freedom to imitate and follow the traditions of
previous generations of
sailors. We're not Grenadier guards, Rockettes, the Copenhagen Ballet…
We're sailors… United
States Navy.

I'll bet that every time Admiral Arleigh Burke looks down from his cloud
conning bridge in Paradise
and gets a load of those baptismal font hats, he damn near launches his
lunch.

The powers that be in our naval hierarchy, have had to cut down, reduce
and eliminate much of what
was once the heart and core of our naval establishment. Parts and
components that once had 'Made
in the USA' are no longer available within the continental limits of the
USA. We have become very
'overseas' dependent. At one point, we were informed that the Army's
fashion statement desk-bound
fashion generals had decided to put the entire Army in black beanies made
in Red China… Red
China, the outfit that poured over the Yalu River and slaughtered
Americans… The folks who
supplied our enemies weapons in the Viet-Nam War… The folks that still
supply our enemies
weapons, medium and long range missiles, intelligence and sophisticated
training… If the short
memory monkeys who force uniform change had their way, our entire Army
would be sporting
black beanies made by Communist slave labor… Beat that.

Force manpower levels require the extortion payment of recruitment,
re-enlistment and specialty
retention bribes that amount to tens of thousands of dollars. Sad, when
you think that all the
bastards promise us, was tough training, rough duty and the opportunity to
earn Dolphins, if we
could measure up… If we were good enough… Man enough. Nobody tucked any
wampum in our
jumper pockets or kissed us in the vicinity of our bell-bottom gussets.

Give'em back their white hats with the wings… Return to the days when the
fleet turned a blind eye
to the eccentricities of individual expression… The days when our sailors
were the happy-go-lucky
lads of a single naval force. When raghats worn at cocky angles told the
less fortunate of the planet
that the rollicking American bluejackets had dropped anchor or put their
lines over… And, that the
sealanes of the world were safe and secure. They were kept so, by those
wonderful men who wore
their headgear with a decided list and sporting wings.

And remember, use the Victory at Sea series as a guide if your tour in the
navy began in the era of
our bidet bonnet navy. Give'em back the cocky 'go to hell' raghat and
become a hero to every raghat
whoever pissed against the wind in service to the greatest naval power
that ever was.