All I wanted was a Dr.Pepper (Story)

[BonnieBon]

this is the first draft of my story. feedback anyone? Bueller? Bueller? It has some holes in it... And the conversations with Aiden and his mom, or with his dad are supposed to be in smaller italic print.. which helps. on here all that you can distinguish them with is white space

"All I wanted was a Dr. Pepper"

All I wanted was a Dr. Pepper. Actually, that's not true. All I wanted was a night of peace and quiet, but once I realized I couldn't have that, I was looking for a nice cold Dr.Pepper as a consolation prize. My plans to get to sleep by ten had already failed miserably- I hoped the morning was sunny so I could cover up my lack of sleep with shades. Then again, I figured everyone else would be such a wreck that they wouldn't notice the bags under my eyes.


Mom. What's Leukemia? Isn't that what Aunt Judy died from?
"Aunt Judy had a very bad kind of Leukemia, honey. You don't have to worry about losing me- I'll be here for you no matter what."
"But mom..."
"Come on honey, we gotta get you off to cub scouts."


My roomate crawled through the door at eleven, leaving a trail of Smirnoff behind him. After an hour of praying to the porcelain Gods, it looked like he was going to settle down. I didn't see why he had to do it in my bed, but as long as he was quiet- I figured, what the hell...I could just toss the empty beer cans on the floor and sleep on his bed. If I got six hours, I could make it through the next day.
With nothing other than a light aroma from our lousy plumbing flowing through the ten by ten cell we called home during the school year, I started to let myself relax.
"What do you think Heaven is like, mom?"
"I don't know," she told me. "But I bet it's real quiet and peaceful- like a sunrise..."


"Oh, Paula!" Jared squealed, thrashing in my bed like a mental patient.
I opened one eye and glared at Jared with it. "Dude. Shut up!"
He continued. "Paula! Ohhhhh, Paula!!!!"
Damn that Fox Network. I never would have roomed with him again that semester if I knew American Idol was going for a second season. It was hard enough to get a good nights sleep without worrying about my roommate singing Ribbons in the Sky in his sleep.


"Mom, will you sing to me?"
"Sweetheart, mommy's tired. Why don't you sing me a song to help me sleep?"
"I'll fly away old glory. I'll fly away, in the morning. By and by hallelulah when I die..."


Screw this, I thought. I pulled on a sweatshirt, stuffed my wallet into the pocket of my flannel drawstring pants and headed down the hall to the student lounge. It's weekend hours were only until midnight, but I decided that if the guys in charge really meant it- the doors would have locks on them.
I considered the sign on the wall: "Couches to be used only for studying and socializing. No sleeping." I put a throw pillow at the end of the couch. What were the guards going to do if they caught on during their rounds...wake me?
I laughed all the way to the coke machine. It rejected both dollar bills in my wallet. I fished through my coins- 35 cents, 40, 65, 66, 67. Damn. I shoved a crisp five into the machine and listened to the quarters come clinking down like a slot machine. A dollar twenty-five went into the machine and I shoved the Dr.Pepper label in as far as it would go. The sound of the can crashing down almost made me forget about my lousy night. Almost- and only until I reached down and picked up a can of Mountain Dew. What the hell?


"Mom. Why is Jennifer going out with that dumb guy if he's so mean to her?"
"Love makes people do silly things sometimes, kid."
"Mom. I never want to fall in love."


I hit the Dr.Pepper label again and was greeted by the red "sold-out" light. Pepsi, Diet Pepsi and Sprite were apparently empty as well, but I figured at least five or six Mountain Dews sat in the back of the machine.
I opened the can, half surprised when it didn't explode. I wouldn't have even taken a sip of the "radioactive pee" but my mouth still felt like carpeting from the bottle of Jack Daniel's I'd finished off a few hours earlier. I put the can under the couch so it wouldn't get knocked over, and laid across the doctor's office type cushions. I tried to get back to what I'd started more than two hours before. I let my thoughts blur into nothingness, my muscles relax.


"Mom. What will she be like? You know... If I decide to fall in love."
"She'll look at you, and you'll never be the same. You won't know how you ever got along without her," she said and kissed me on the forehead.
"I don't know how I'll ever get along without you."
"Shh... Sleep time now, honey."


I listened hard to make sure I couldn't hear my roomate down the hall and his nightly affair with Paula Abdul. The only sounds were the hum of the soda machine, the buzz of the air conditioner and something I couldn't pinpoint for a few minutes. It seemed to be coming from out on the patio, but it wasn't loud enough to drag my tired butt off the couch. I listened to the quiet symphony for what seemed like half a lifetime, but when I looked up at the wall clock, it only read 1:13.

"You know, son. It's okay to cry. Or...be angry son. Just don't pretend like you don't miss her."
"Dad. I'm fine."
"Son. Of course you're not fine. I'd be worried if you were. But you don't have to go through this alone...you can talk to me or your sister."
"DAD. I'm FINE. Just because I'm not sobbing over her old clothes like you guys doesn't mean I'm not fine."


I decided if I had to be miserable, I might as well not be starved too. I went back to the vending machines. I had narrowed the field down to Fritos or Cheetos when I spotted the source of the mystery noise. She wore her long red hair back in a Met's Cap and kept hitting the glass window that she sat in front of.
I made my way over to the door. Finally, I'd found a source to unleast my wrath on. "Hey! Do you mind, I'm trying to..."
Once outside, I saw that the culprit was also trembling. She turned around at the sound of my voice. She was still made up from her evening plans, but more mascara remained on her cheeks than on her lashes.
She tried to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up."
"No." I said. "I... It's fine."
I didn't get more than halfway back through the doorway.
"Don't go," she said softly.


"Mom. You said you wouldn't leave me. You promised."
"I'll always be with you, Aiden. You won't be able to see me, but if you listen real close, you'll know what I'm saying.
"Don't leave me."


"What?"
"Please." The girl requested. "Don't leave me."
Great. Well, since I had blown every chance of being rested by that morning, I figured it would be silly to fight the "Good Samaritan" role I was being flung into.
"What's your name?" I asked the girl.
"Denise." She replied.
"That's...a nice name," I replied, mostly because I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't lying. I thought Denise was a beautiful name, but it was more of a vocal filler than a meaningful sentiment.
"He told me it was a nice name too. Granted, he was trying to get me to go to bed with him at the time," Denise let out a gut laugh that turned into a sob. "He said that... He said that if he..." She paused, choking on her words and tears.
I tried not to look at her as she tried to regain composure. When she got quiet again, I looked up.
"Oh...I'm Aiden."
She started to cry again.
"Can I..." I began. "Do you want me to call someone..."
She shook her head.
"My car keys are in his room...but I don't want to go back right now. I was supposed to be spending the weekend up here- with him." She paused as if she were considering whether or not to tell the next part. "Tonight's our one year anniversary."


"Aiden you have to come. You know she'd want you to be there."
"Dad."
"No, son. It's been 10 years and you haven't even been to her grave. You didn't even come to the funeral. Don't you think you should at least come tomorrow. An unveiling is a very important tradition and don't you think it's about time you said goodbye properly?"


I looked at the floor.
"We had reservations at...somewhere French. I don't remember the name, but it sounded amazing," she laughed ironically, "He could have taken me to IHOP for all I cared. I told him I loved him so much that it didn't matter where we were, as long as we were there together."
"But it's okay- because he loves me too," She continued. "I was worried because he hadn't said it until tonight- I mean, not in so many words. But he said it. He said, 'Denise, I love you,' and then he dumped me. Something about 'it's not you, it's me,' or 'I don't feel like I deserve you'."


"Mom. If it's not that bad... Why can't you come home?"
"Honey- the doctors just want to be sure. And they think they can take better care of me if I stay here a little longer."


She noticed the expression on my face.
"Yeah," she said. "I know it was bull. And if I didn't, I probably would have figured it out when that blonde bimbo showed up at his door when I walked out."
"I'm...sorry." I told her.
"Yeah, well..." She began. "God, I can't believe how stupid I was."
"No," I protested. "I'm sure he it wasn't always this obvious that he was an *******."
She laughed, and I grinned, relieved that my joke had gone over well.
"Look," I continued, "At least you're finding this out now instead of in ten years..."
"Yeah. I could just see us as a bunch of 30 year olds- married with children. 'Mom, how come daddy doesn't ever tell me he loves me?' Oh... Honey, it's not you, it's him."
Denise shook her head and tried to smile.
"Thanks." She said.
"For what?"
"For staying with me. For talking to me. It's like you were down here for a reason... You know, to take care of me"
Our eyes met.


"Mom...how will I know she's the right one?"
"You'll know. It'll be like you met for a reason."


"...I did come down here for a reason." I told her.
Denise had calmed down and was ready to repay the favor and listen to what was on my mind.
"Oh...it's nothing," I told her at first. "I mean, it's a long story.
"I'm not going anywhere," she insisted.
I started at the beginning and talked until the sun came up. Denise put her hands on mine when my eyes clouded over. It was the first time I cried for my mother. It was the first time I'd cried in front of anyone in years, but with Denise, I didn't mind.


"Mom...don't"
"Honey. You have to let me go."
"No mom. You can't leave me."
"I'll never leave you Aiden. But you have to say goodbye sometime."


I kicked the soda machine.
"Aiden?" A voice called from the delivery room. "I think you better come back in now."
She wasn't screaming anymore. It was too quiet. I looked at the peaceful expression on her face and looked where her eyes were focused.
"She's perfect," Denise sobbed, rocking our baby girl in her arms.
I leaned over the bed with one arm around my wife and the other on our new baby.
"Hi Rose," I whispered. "I won't forget to tell you later, but I want you to know...I love you."
Denise rested until the next morning, but I sat up with our baby girl and told her the story of the remarkable woman she was named for. When the nurses decided that little Rose had had enough excitement for one day, I went out to the lobby to get a snack.
I shoved a handful of quarters into the vending machine and reached for the Dr.Pepper label. Empty. I fought the urge to kick the machine and calmly took my diet root beer when it tumbled to the bottom of the machine. I might never quite be used to how things never seemed to go my way. I'd probably break my bad foot a few more times before I accepted the fact that beating up a machine doesn't help refill it. But I knew that with the things that were truly important, I wouldn't have to settle for The Mountain Dew.


"Mom...You don't have to fight for me anymore. I love you enough to let you go."


I put my daughter down to kneel beside the gravestone.

Rose Lucille Plummer
January 14, 1954-May 4, 1984
"Death ends a life, not a relationship"

"Dad...you're not going to die are you?"
I knelt in front of my daughter.
"Not today, sweetheart," I told her. "Someday I will- not for a long time... But even when it seems like I'm gone... Even if you can't see me anymore- all you'll have to do is listen here." I guided her little hand to her heart. "And you'll know what I'm saying."