HOW DOES THAT FREEDOM™ TASTE?

[TGRR]

HAW HAW FOOLS!

You're all busy playing poker in the club car, and nobody's driving the train! HEE HEE! How does that Freedom™ taste, kids? You better run, run on home! AW, YEAH, AMERICA™, ARE YOU READY TO LAUGH TIL YOUR GUTS BLEED? This ain't the time for anything less!

You feel alien and strange, you say, you feel like you're just watching a movie only there's no Gary Cooper coming to rescue you from the Bush tribe, is that that you say? Sorry, kiddo, Gary Cooper is dead, yeah he rode off into the big credits in the sky and Joe Dimaggio just doesn't care anymore and Muhammed Ali and Baby Jesus have had it with your shit, you didn't listen then you won't listen now.

Yeah, I can see what's going on...it's kinda hard to miss that the poles are melting and the weather changes every few minutes and there's a new desert every day...that it turns out that you don't have to actually go to a war to get ****ed and that reminds me, have you SEEN the deficit recently? Don't tell your kids about it or they'll beat you when you're old. Of course it's not like they won't find out anyway, but maybe with some time you can think of a way to make them think it wasn't your fault. HAR HAR!

Had enough Freedom™ yet?

What? You want MORE Slack™?

I can here you wondering what went wrong, you just wanted to see John Wayne and Ronald Reagan draw down on those dirty Ay-rabs after 911, and if we couldn't find the right Ay-rabs well they're all brown, right? But it turned out that these Ay-rabs didn't read the script and they just won't accept that we declared victory on that aircraft carrier, all those years ago and just why the hell won't they lay down and die? Don't make us nuke them, the ungrateful bastards, just nuke them all that will show them. Never mind that we look like a petulant child with a revolver.

Yeah, I can hear you thinking all that and I can feel your pain; but for all your pain and bewilderment I could give a damn. If you didn't understand in March of 2003 you sure as hell aren't going to listen now, are you? No, you won't, so just go back to your CNN and your Fox News and your churches or temples or covens and pray to yet another murdered God to come and save you from what you're SURE isn't your fault.

Because it never IS your fault, is it? Yeah I know, 5 years or 5 minutes from now, when IT happens, and you're trapped in the white hot wreckage of wherever you happened to be when the fun stopped, you'll be blaming the Ay-rabs or the president or the liberals or the conservatives or the corporations or the America-hating hippies. While you're staggering through the Great Iowa desert praying to find just a few drops of acid-laden water, you'll probably be blaming Union Carbide or Hillary or Rush Limbaugh. Ho ho!

Well, I will tell you a little secret. I will tell you this secret, while you shiver in your home like rhesus monkeys, behind your alarms and guns and deadbolted doors and deadbolted hearts...The secret is this: Armageddon came and went, and the Gods didn't do SHIT, because they know what you know and what you're afraid to admit to yourself...Humans are BETTER at armageddon that the Gods are. Oh, there's no Mahdjgickqual Hosries or anything like that, just a slow shuffling of morbidly obese lemmings, looking for a cliff.

Did you ever think that would be how it all ends, kiddo? Didja? Yeah, it's the
end, and the end is boring. Hee hee!

Or Kill Me.

[Freedom&Liberty]

Interesting train of thought, but it would be far easier to kill you than to make any sense out of what you wrote.

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Freedom&Liberty

Interesting train of thought, but it would be far easier to kill you than to make any sense out of what you wrote.

Promises, promises.

[Reaper]

I'm sorry, but was that supposed to make sense, or is it just idle ramblings about nothing?

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Reaper

I'm sorry, but was that supposed to make sense, or is it just idle ramblings about nothing?

It makes more sense after you have 5 expressos.

I'm sorry I posted a rant in the rant forum.

[Mystlet]

8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is your friend.

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Mystlet

8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is your friend.

Lies.

MOAR CAFFIENE! If you drink enough of this stuff, everything becomes clear.

TGRR,
Just needs someone to translate it out of the simple yet beautiful language in which it was dictated to me.

[Mystlet]

Keep drinking, and you'll find out where Jimmy Hoffa is and why Paul McCartney had John Lennon killed. You'll figure out all of life's mysteries, but it won't be fun having them all in your head.

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Mystlet

Keep drinking, and you'll find out where Jimmy Hoffa is and why Paul McCartney had John Lennon killed. You'll figure out all of life's mysteries, but it won't be fun having them all in your head.

Har har! Naw, you just need to pay attention to learn all that stuff, you know, that one of the Oswalds acted alone, and that Aliens aren't as much fun as you'd like, because they build the kind of spaceships that crash, and hell, we can do THAT.

And that it wasn't Paul that killed Lennon, but a midget named Jeff. Paul was already dead. I ought to know.

The Good Reverend never intended to kill Paul McCartney back in 1978...it was one of those parties that just sorta got out of hand.

I was busy putting Exlax in the hors duerves, when Paul walked in. He was attended by his wife, Linda, and a midget named Jeff. Elvis nudged my elbow, and said, "That's the guy that forced me to fake my own death."

I thought he was referring to Paul, so what could I do? I shot him. I shot him down like a dog, in full view of 100 other party guests. It must have seemed rude, because nobody besides Elvis talked to me for the whole evening...and all he had to say was "I meant the midget, man."

So, all those rumors about Paul being dead were actually true.

Jeff went on to force the faked deaths of Kurt Cobain, John Lennon, Rick Springfield, George Harrison, and Richard Milhous Nixon...for reasons that have never been made clear...though The Good Reverend must admit that he doesn't think anything good can come of this.

Come on now...you didn't think the REAL Paul McCartney would have done a duet with Michael Jackson, did you?

Or Kill Me.

[Slinky_Bass]

Originally Posted by Mystlet

8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is your friend.

YOU LIE! 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is a myth. >_<

[Mystlet]

Originally Posted by TGRR

Come on now...you didn't think the REAL Paul McCartney would have done a duet with Michael Jackson, did you?
.

I didn't think he'd put together a ghey band like Wings either, but there you go.

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Mystlet

I didn't think he'd put together a ghey band like Wings either, but there you go.

That was Jeff. Rock and roll has never been the same since that little bastard showed up.

Same with politics, football, and the World Cup Yacht Race.

[Mystlet]

Originally Posted by TGRR

Same with politics, football, and the World Cup Yacht Race.

name three things that all suck?

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Mystlet

name three things that all suck?

Stop hating America™ and loving terrorists, son.

[Ice Pick]

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed perhaps?

[Slinky_Bass]

Originally Posted by TGRR

Lies.

MOAR CAFFIENE! If you drink enough of this stuff, everything becomes clear.

TGRR,
Just needs someone to translate it out of the simple yet beautiful language in which it was dictated to me.

TGRR: You kind of remind me of another unusual poster who tended towards the third person, any relation to T3N, or HK47 for that matter?

And what's that about a lobster?

[Mystlet]

Originally Posted by Ice Pick

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed perhaps?

That happens when the restraints become loose, apparently.

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Slinky_Bass

TGRR: You kind of remind me of another unusual poster who tended towards the third person, any relation to T3N, or HK47 for that matter?

And what's that about a lobster?

1. Naw, nor am I related to Julius Caesar, who also spoke of himself in the 3rd person.

2. That, my friend, is a warning. Specifically, "Uh oh, here comes the lobster man".

[TGRR]

Originally Posted by Mystlet

That happens when the restraints become loose, apparently.

See? It isn't easy, being a prophet of the coming weird times.

All the apostates and infidels accuse you of being nuts.

[Mystlet]

Originally Posted by TGRR

See? It isn't easy, being a prophet of the coming weird times.

All the apostates and infidels accuse you of being nuts.

Sometimes it's just the regular people telling it like it is, man.