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#1
02-13-2007, 06:52 PM
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feedback on a story
The Robitussin Chronicles Part 2: Dan’s Basement
A few months after our first Robitussin experience, we had not quite come to terms with the detrimental effects drinking an entire bottle of cough syrup had on our health, and overwhelmed with the awesomeness of the trip, we stubbornly decided to do it again. We were bored on one particular Saturday night after converging in Dan’s basement. After a little while of reminiscing about the first trip, Dan, Adam, Travis, Sean, Joe and I all decided to take another drive over to the CVS convenience store and steal ourselves each a family sized bottle of Robitussin. Anthony and Kyle were also there, but after Kyle’s near death experience the first time he didn’t really feel like trying it again, and Anthony just wanted nothing to do with it. We got back to Dan’s house , clanked our bottles together, chugged all 12 ounces of cherry-flavored syrupy goodness, and the adventure began. After the first time doing this, we learned that it’s a good idea to puke up the syrup after about a half hour or 45 minutes, so we all just sat around for a while watching the clock and ripping Dan’s bong. About 20 minutes into the waiting period, Sean pukes all over Dan’s floor without warning. This triggered Adam to start puking too, but he actually got a lot of his puke into the little box that the cough syrup comes packaged in, which was kind of funny (and Dan, being the slob that he is, left the puke-filled tiny box there for weeks before eventually cleaning it up). Sean then lays down on the couch wishing he hadn’t decided to do this with us again, “it’s going to be a long night,” he says. Shortly afterwards, Adam’s face turns pale white, he runs into the back yard to puke again in a bush, then returns to the other couch. He looks like death and is somewhat unresponsive when we ask him how he is doing. The rest of us decided to go out into the street and puke together, and let Sean and Adam rest up for a little while. Anthony whips out his cell phone that had a video recorder on it, and starts filming as Dan, Travis, Joe and I all start heaving into a sewer drain pipe at the same time. Cough syrup and stomach bile is projecting through the air as Anthony laughs so hard I thought he might piss himself. Then we each lit up a cigarette, because a smoke after a good hard puking is better than sex. We all returned to the basement to find Sean holding his stomach like he just got the wind knocked out of him, and Adam still disturbingly pale starring blankly up at the ceiling. He looked really bad but assured us that he would be okay and that he was starting to trip really hard. For some reason Dan had that glow-in-the-dark glue splattered all over his ceiling and Adam tells us that he sees the cartoon face of “Dora The Explorer” popping out at him from it. Suddenly I started to feel sick again too, I ran out into the back yard and puked a second time, then went to lay down in my car for a few minutes. While I was in there I blacked out for a moment, then it became apparent that I was now tripping my balls off when I came to again and it everything looked like it was tinted red (kind of like when you are in a film developing darkroom) and when I turned my head everything had really long black trails behind it. I sat there for a moment just looking around, and muttered “woah, cool…” to myself. Eventually I returned to the basement with everyone else, Adam got some color back in his face and Sean was apparently feeling a little better, but still not happy. We had run out of pot by this time and Anthony really wanted to smoke more, so he made a couple phone calls and found a seller. However, we got Anthony’s Nissan Pathfinder into a little off-road accident a couple days before and broke the headlights on it, and as it was now nighttime, Anthony didn’t want to drive his car, so he begged to borrow mine, as I was the only other person with a car there at the time. I don’t like lending out my most valuable possession to people when I’m tripping so hard I barely have enough motor skills to say “No, go **** yourself.” But after a good 20 minutes of relentless bugging, I finally gave in and handed him my keys. He assured me he would just go pick up the bag and be back in 20 minutes, and given my current state of mind, I gullibly believed him. Kyle wanted to go with the only other person who wasn’t tripping, so they both got in my car and drove off to God knows where. Meanwhile the rest of us sat in Dan’s basement as the trip kept getting more and more intense. All the negativity had now passed for most of us, and just sitting in a chair starring at the wall became extremely fun and pleasant. For a while we were entertained by Dan spinning glow sticks around in his hands, which sounds really lame and cliché and normally would have pissed me off, but it was actually really cool. After a while I realized that Anthony and Kyle had been gone with my car for over an hour and half and I became extremely paranoid. I called his phone, but no answer. I left an angry message and called again, no answer. Now I was pissed, especially since by this time the stench of puke and garbage and stale cigarette smoke was becoming a bit too much for my senses and we all really wanted to get out of Dan’s disgusting basement. We went outside to get some fresh air and noticed Anthony had left his car unlocked with the key’s in the ignition. So of course, seeing as how he stole my car, it only seemed fair that we steal his for a while. I didn’t feel like driving, but Adam was more than up for the task. So Adam, who was tripping sack on a bottle of Robitussin, and did not have a license at the time (and had driven a car maybe a couple of times in his whole life), got behind the wheel of Anthony’s pathfinder that had no headlights in the middle of the night. The rest of us hopped in the passenger seats and we drove off into the night. The moon was just bright enough to see in front of us a little bit, and we suggested to Adam that he turn on the blinking hazard lights for a little extra visual assistance. We start driving aimlessly around Captain’s Village and not 5 minutes go by before Adam slams into his fist mailbox and destroys it. Then Adam decides to start driving in reverse for a while until he backs up right into someone’s front lawn, goes straight into a bush then panics, switches back into drive and tears apart the grass. He speeds off and turns onto another road before slamming into yet another mail box. We all laugh hysterically. This continued for about a half hour as we got lost deeper and deeper into Captains Village and somehow we managed to not see a single other car on the road during the whole drive. We decided it would be a good idea to return to Dan’s house before Anthony gets back or we come across a cop, but we had no idea where we were. After another 15 or so minutes of driving around blindly through the night, we miraculously found our way back to Dan’s street and pull into his driveway at the exact same time Anthony pulls in front of the house with my car. We all got out and Anthony asked what we were all doing his car and as we tried to contain our laughter, we told him that we, “just went for a little drive down the street.” Anthony’s cool so he didn’t really care, and I was just relieved to have my car back (fearing that he may have gotten arrested with it). Anthony tells us how he went go buy the pot and the guy was having a small party, and they got to try a couple different kinds of super weed while they were. The kind of stuff that people give stupid names to like “AK-47” or “Orange Crush” or whatever. We hang out for while longer smoking the pot Anthony had just bought until the sun came up. We were all still tripping pretty hard and it was turning out to be a beautiful sunny summer morning so we came up with another awesome idea. Dan and I sat down on the hood of my car, Adam and Sean got inside and drove slowly around Captain’s Village while we lounged out on the hood smoking a bowl. A retarded idea in hindsight, but it was fun as hell and quite relaxing. As we again drove around lost in captains village we came to a corner that was mostly trees and bushes up on a hill (there was a swamp on the other side) and no houses for a couple hundred yards. As we turned the corner, a girl named Brenda Johnson waddled out from the middle of the woods right in front of our car… Now let me tell you a little bit about Brenda Johnson. Brenda was a girl in our high school. About 5 feet tall, and she looked exactly like an ogre. Crooked glasses, matted down short hair, messed up teeth, a good 75 pounds overweight and she always wore dirty sweat pants. She smelled horrible and dated a neo-nazi midget named Joe. You can’t make this stuff up. Brenda looked and acted retarded. Like literally retarded, but for some reason she was in normal classes for the most part. She was infamous in our school for several things, like offering banana sandwiches to you at lunchtime, or poking her own vagina with a pencil eraser until she got off, IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS. One time when everyone was in the locker room before gym class, Brenda for some reason decided to smear her own feces all over the walls of the girls locker room. Us guys emerged into the hallway from the boys locker room and everyone began yelling things like “OH MY GOD, IT SMELLS LIKE ****ING SHIT IN THIS HALLWAY.” Moments later girls started running out of their locker room yelling “SOMEONE SMEARED POOP ALL OVER THE WALL IN THERE.” Brenda emerged last, and it was quite obvious who the culprit was. So anyway, here we are driving around, tripping on Robitussin at 7 in the morning, smoking a bowl on the hood of my car while an unsilenced driver escorts us around Captains Village, and who of all people but Brenda Johnson emerges from the swamp woods as we go around a corner. Adam stops short, Dan and I roll off the hood of the car, and Brenda stops in her tracks. Dan and I stand up, and look at her. She stares back at us. No one moves or says anything for a moment, then Adam yells out “HOLY SHIT, IT’S BRENDA ****ING JOHNSON. GET IN THE CAR! GET IN THE ****ING CAR, GO, GO GO!” Dan and I swung open the back doors and dive in head first and Adam peels out with our legs still hanging out the open doors. We get in and close the doors, brush ourselves off with our hearts pounding, and I say, “guys, what the **** just happened?” Adam replies, “****ing Brenda Johnson man.” 
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#2
02-13-2007, 07:15 PM
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My Review:
I didn't read it. It looked dumb. Probably was. (was that a haiku?) ...who cares Haiku's are gay.
__________________
Things to do today: 1.) Insult People. Check!
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#3
02-13-2007, 07:20 PM
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is really not hard at all you ****ing dumbass
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#4
02-13-2007, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
and your reply will get you warning number one
__________________
"The unhappy derive comfort from the misfortunes of others. " Aesop
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#6
02-13-2007, 07:28 PM
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I read it. It was boring. Way too "technical."
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED THEN THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT THEN THIS HAPPENED THEN WE DID THIS THING The subject matter was also very boring.
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#7
02-13-2007, 07:33 PM
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your criticism though harsh, is very honest appreciated
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#17
02-14-2007, 06:10 PM
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__________________
Legislators and revolutionaries who promise liberty and equality at the same time are either Utopian dreamers or charlatans. (Goethe) "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments by those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.... The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home." (James Madison)  The Zipper Vodka Library GONE to recycling 
Last edited by zipper99; 02-14-2007 at 06:13 PM.
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