Could use some help. Sorry if long

[countrygirl]

Hey guys. Its been awhile. Thanks a bunch for all your help with my last thread.
Still seeing the same fella now. Its been 7 months and for the most part things are pretty good. I definately love him ( although I havent said so to him) Hes put it in a sentence 2-3 times but always when hes had a few drinks. Gotta love how alcohol opens people up. lmao!
So once again Im asking for some opinions. Feenix....please be somewhat gentle this time eh.lol.


A BIT OF THE GOOD
We get along great
We spend an evening together through the week and Fri - Mon morn together
My kids like him and him them
We've met one anothers families and all get along
When we're together, he makes me feel like theres noone else
Sex is fantastic
We talk....like I mean talk. In all our time together, the tv might be on 2 nights. We usually just sit around talking about everything and anything.(befor him, I never knew guys talked so much)lol
He calls almost every morn on the way to work and 2-3 times more by the end of the day
Great sense of humor
Plus more

SOME THINGS THAT HAVE ME CONFUSED
In 7 months, hes been to my place twice(my ex has it out for him and he lives a tad close)
He has 2 msns( 1 private/ 1 personal) (I am on both)
He never logs onto his personal when Im around
He talks to women online that he met online through dating sites prior to him and I hooking up ( his profile is off dating site now)Now, we've discussed what we both consider in the lines of cheating. One being everyone has friends of the opposite sex, but sweet talking is definately a no no. So hopefully none of thats goin on
I cant be 100% comfortable opening up to him when it comes to my feelings of worry
I have a feelin in my belly that when we're not together hes doing something he shouldnt be( not all the time but sometimes)
Ive never been this parinoid or insecure befor, so its really playing havic with my nerves
Sometimes he doesnt pick up when I call ( when I know hes definately home)
Ok, take last night. I ws supposed to go over to his place. He called said something come up. ( ok, no prob.) Told him to gimmie a call when he got in and we'd see from there. He said if it was late we'd just have a long weekend(thurs - mon) (ok, again, no prob) I happened to be on the pc at 11:30 when he logged onto his priv msn. (I was set to offline, He was on for about an hr, and when I called i got no answer. He usually wakes in the middle of the night and calls to chat for a few( not last night) and he still hasnt called yet this morn. Am I crazy for worrying?

I know myself, I worry sometimes where the two of us stand. As by times he does too. Not all relationships work out, I know that. My last one was 12 yrs.
I guess what Im asking is, am I nuts. Is there anything here that sends up flags or am I being pariniod for no reason. This is just so unlike me and I could use some unbias opinions.

[Mystlet]

I wouldn't worry if you call & he doesn't answer the phone. Sometimes I don't feel like talking on the phone & I leave it ring.

Him talking to people online doesn't mean anything. I'm sure you still chat with former male acquaintances online. Having private & personal MSN accounts doesn't mean anything either.

Sometimes people need space & they will pull away a little. Maybe he's taking the time to get used to feelings for you.

You need to bring up these uneasy feelings you are having to him & talk to him about it. It you can't discuss your fears with him, there's not much of a basis for a long-term or committed relationship. Without communication, things aren't going to get very far.

And quit analyzing everything he does like it's some conspiracy. Maybe he just didn't want to talk to you on the phone last night. It doesn't mean he had his penis in another woman.

[Canadiense]

A while back I would have told you the following: the more indifferent you are, the more he will want you. If he knows he's got you wrapped around his little finger, you're set for a heart break.

Nowadays, I'm more inclined to believe that people are who they are, and you cannot change that. Meaning that if his intentions are dishonest, i.e. if this is premeditated deception, you, and many other women will fall victim to his scheme, and there's nothing you or any of them can do to change this. However, you do have the ability to notice signs of deception. This is mainly described as sub-conscious (you call it "gut feeling"), because it is probably genetic, but that's besides the scope of this conversation.

I say, be strong, and never show him that you worry. Why? Because it's the only way you can learn about him more in depth. Keep observing him for signs. This is not saying : be paranoid. I say: be careful. That's all. No drastic measures are necessarry, you will know the truth in due time. You know why? Because if he is deceiving you - he will seek out other females to copulate with. If he does, all you have to do is use common sense to get a clue: observe and listen and take note of any unusual behavioral changes in him.

And please, do yourself a favour and stop blaming yourself (referring to "Am I nuts"); looking out for your own interest does not constitute crazyness, it is precisely the opposite, you couldn't be more sane.

Keep your eye on that man, and be

[Feenix566]

Originally Posted by countrygirl

Feenix....please be somewhat gentle this time eh.lol.

I could use some unbias opinions.

Hey, unbiased opinions are why you came here, right? That's all I'm giving

I'm gonna stick by what I said in your last thread. He's not interested in a serious relationship. How can two people date each other for 7 months and not say they love each other? Every time I've said "I love you", it was within a month of meeting her. I couldn't hold it in any longer!

Also, I wanna say that I agree with what enkahootz said in your last thread:

Originally Posted by enkahootz

He's not interested in you...
He's keeping you around until someone else better comes along...
That's why he's playing games...

Originally Posted by Canadiense

And please, do yourself a favour and stop blaming yourself (referring to "Am I nuts"); looking out for your own interest does not constitute crazyness, it is precisely the opposite, you couldn't be more sane.

But it is her fault for staying with a guy that she just sort-of likes. Who knows how many opportunities she's passed up in the last seven months? One of them could have been a perfect match for her. It's a shame that she missed them because she's trying to "fix" her current relationship.

Countrygirl, you're obviously not happy with your relationship. If you were happy, you wouldn't be seeking advice on an Internet message board. You deserve to be happy! Everybody does. But staying with this guy isn't going to make you happy. It might make you a little happy sometimes, but you deserve more than that. You deserve to be happy all the time. The only way you're gonna be happy is go out there and find a guy who is a better match for you.