My book of poetry

[Shogun]

Rainbow in the Clouds

A long day and short night's rest
I woke up tired to see a crest
A crest that was gorgeously arrayed
afar off. and there it stayed

A short night's rest then weary I forgot
A smile posessed that this crest had brought!
to be so far from yet feel so content
and marvel at its' beauty that morning I spent

With my weariness forgotten I began to say
"How do you do? And how shall I repay?"
"Repay you for what?" this crest said to me.
"For the posession I squandered! That made me weary."

So then I began to say and relate
how each color of hers began to inflate
to slowly build up what I had tore down
and appreciate how her colors abound

bright and radiant, from her heart they all bled
priceless expressions, like a ruby that's red
little bit closer though no on the fringe
stiched conversations as a vibrant orange

and to feel that I'm not back in the row
you grab my attention with your rays of yellow
A friend to be called was unforseen
how large this has grown(in such a short time), like a forrest that's green

uncandidn and humorous with words that are true
this(about you) and my favorite color is blue
I keep you esteemed and leave her below
and over time I gotten to see your indigo soul

A smile in my head that I have set
that softens the heart like the color violet

seven colors, that number is complete
North or south one day we will meet
and glad at that morning I looked and I found
sitting afar off, A Rainbow in the Clouds

[Shogun]

As fates come and go
As time speeds then slows
As fate brings together and tears apart
I stay a shadow in the dark

When reason trancends
When one offends
When conversation begins then ends
When they, socially, depart
I stay here a shadow in the dark

Believing I was kind
Believing is not blind!
Believing that she cared
Believing in that which was not shared
Believing is not blind but is not smart
I stay here a shadow in the dark

Realizing what I dread
Realizing was not right instead
Realizing what could not be fathomed
Realizing the deep chasm
Realizing that it is lonely in this park
I sit down as a shadow in the dark

If I could go back
If I did not say that
If I could only reconcile
If this weren't such a difficult trial
If I had not done it from the start
Then I wouldn't be here in the dark

[Shogun]

I stay and look around to see who is here
An instant message is what I hope to appear
A time to laugh and to conversate
A time for diologue that I was willing to initiate
A time long ago, yes indeed
I've been here before. That is all I see

May I ask who is the one to blame
A cold shoulder is the name of the game
And this is my gift for sharing with you
Abstract feeling and saying adieu
And soon I will speak to you again, it is then that I will hold this frame
Maybe. But 'til then I am the one to blame

Tradgedy has befallen me
I have lost my dear
I have sworn to myself that I will keep my head up in cheer
I walk upright and not in ignominy
I made a promise that it will never happen again
To say that she was an acquaintance would be wrong. She more like a......

So I leave this place. And will come back yet
And on the ensuing trip I will not fret
About conversation and things that are subsequent
As sand slips through my hands, so you too. Like a desert silhouette

[Shogun]

It came to me by surprise
Like dewdrops from the skies
a simple hello became a bond
a quick yet pleasant, beloved, and fond

a time when it was I who you looked toward
a time when it was I who you sought to thrward
nothing was easy and not in excess
there was nothing to look forward. and no one to impress

a conversation here and a conversation there
many a suitor would ponder and stare
but this was my little humming bird
and beautiful she was. as others concurred

a feeling of helplessness. of sorrow indeed
I leave this region on a noble steed
a feeling that strength is not the answer. not in issues like these
a feeling when only that one my heart appease

sometime soon I'll test and see if it will
then back I'll be, with comprehension and skill
'til then a pain when I visualize your eyes
with every passing moment. like the dewdrops from the skies
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am: yet what I am none cares or knows:
My friends forsake me like a memory lost,
I am the self-consumer of my woes--
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love's frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live--like vapors tossed

In to the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
Even the dearest, that I _ _ _ _ the best,
And strange--nay, rather stranger then the rest.-JC

I am and yet none cares
I stand amongst a thousand stares
Amongst the stares and many blows
I am me and yet no one knows
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A melody in my head

I often wonder what your voice sounds like
As soft as a rose and as sharp as a spike
So tender, vibrant, radiant yet cold
The little one who speaks out so bold

A token for effort? or is this all trite
and if I was talking to you, would you answer in spite
you givith and takith through I endured
you voice still lingers...the voice not yet heard

Your tone starts to change, and time starts to fly
a pity and woe are for me
this if I do not try
If I do not try to swim toward thee


Round and round like a caracell
you pass by day into the night while in my bed
A face I might not call and name not to spell
A melody. your voice in my head

[Shogun]

Long and tedious the days have come
Loud and pounding. like sounds from a drum
Lasting til night and on through the rain
Long and tedious they all were the same

Almost did I find but it was not the be
Again and again I searched through the sea
A chance to silence. In my head lie a bang
And then it grew louder. And louder it became

Instant soothing I have sought
Incense and fine oil I have bought
Insidious and tyrant aloud as it sang
Injurious to my bones. In me was disdain

Noticing something I've not seen before
Noticing something I grew to adore
Noticing that that "something" took away my loneliness and pain
Noticing that that one was Lain

[Shogun]

A smile I have yet to see
A smile one day gone
A smile that would catch my fancy
A smile mentally drawn

A laugh that I have yet to hear
A laugh, a melody
A laugh that would take away my fear
A laugh that'd set me free

Some day they will be realized
Some day and I will see
Some day I will be suprized
And will not be lonely

[Shogun]

A shining Knight with a blue eagle shield
who many revered and left many in awe
a Golden large claymore is the weapon he wields
the blinding rays off his claymore is what they saw
though many in his hand, he searched for ONE in the field
wondering, as it were, striving after the wind
yet promised himself never to yield
so along on his horse he rode determined

[Shogun]

Today I saw a sweet dandelion
That stood as bright as can be
on it's own with none to rely on and
had many a onlooker in it's gallery

A sweet dandelion, her smile would gleam
pulling in all the moon tide
A smile that resonates from their day to their dreams that
none could deny

A sweet dandelion that stood dignified
that possesed reason and wit
whose honey was so sweet, none dared to deride and
there it stood so delicate

A sweet dandelion that has yet seen the pit
an unmatched aura of majesty
they're are all in her skit yet
all play second because of her unmatched beauty

[seekerofvisions]

I'm happy to have finally read your poems.

As sand slips through my hands, so you too. Like a desert silhouette

Great line.

I am: yet what I am none cares or knows:
My friends forsake me like a memory lost,
I am the self-consumer of my woes--
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love's frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live--like vapors tossed

In to the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
Even the dearest, that I _ _ _ _ the best,
And strange--nay, rather stranger then the rest.-JC

I am and yet none cares
I stand amongst a thousand stares
Amongst the stares and many blows
I am me and yet no one knows

I really like this one.

- Seeker

[Shogun]

Thanks a lot, Marie. I'm really happy you read and like some of them. I'm smiling right now.


It was just some of my work now almost a year ago. It helps me remember some of those who I came in contact with over the past year.

til the next poem.

[Shogun]

I ask myself why I don't ask. With every step the thought crosses my mind. With every passing moment I question whether or not I am a coward for not doing so; for not taking the initiative.

Would I say all the right things that she wanted to hear? Has she heard all of the things I would say. Can I my ignorance to her wants and needs be overlooked in this phase. Why does it seem so difficult at times? Why can't I just enjoy myself? Why must it be so hard?--the brain, emotions, physically.

I would just like to enjoy myself. At the same time, she wants to enjoy herself as well. Does that make me selfish? Would that mean that every other guy who has attempted selfish? How do you know if you fit the woman's criteria?

Why must it be so complicated? Why are women so good at giving hints, and men bad at recognizing them? No matter what those may be. A women can tell you to leave or stay. But that is all thrown out the window since men find it hard to read between the lines, or even worse, find it hard to alert themselves each and every second of the day to such talk. Why not be forthright? At least I would know to or not to continue.

I've lost a lot. My energy has been sapped. I've tryed to figure out this girl to no avail. My emotions have been scattered abroad after I layed them on the table. I've made myself into a fool. A fool for trying to get a grasp on your mind, interests,....on you.

I must not know a lot about this game like I once thought. Maybe I should ask her boyfriend to get an idea how this thing works.

[seekerofvisions]

Great poem! I really like that twist at the end.

I'm happy to see you writing and trying out new styles. I've really grown to like prose.

- Seeker

[Shogun]

Two more lines


'Is it too much to ask a guy to commit?' I've heard this more times than I would care to remember. Women and girls that I know express the same despair in this regard. I don't know if it's a man they need or not wanting to be alone that is at the root.

I've often wondered why women look for a long term commitment. More than that, what are their reasons for such. Does it comes from the need for a man, from not wanting to be lonely, or is it compensation? Nowadays it seems as if women are acting more and more independent and stronger. And if really they were, then that would negate my first two ideas. That leaves me with the last option as the solution.

Every six seconds a man thinks about sex. Men need sex. Angels once left their place in heaven, to have sex. So it's no wonder that should a man decide to approach a girl, this is the first thing to come to mind, and it's not as if they breezies don't know. They are not ignorant to their actions so as to attract men(be it dress, physical cues, speech). Every month they are reminded what their purpose in life is and is a process that defines them as a woman. So armed with the knowledge of who they are and what men need, they use it as a trumph card.

Love is said to be a give and take dynamic (my question is, "does one get then give? or haven recieved, then give"). Men no longer take women and they no longer take the sex. Men must be given permission by women. But women want commitment; they want their man to be with them and not leave. It's no wonder that if a woman is going to surrender her body, she'd want some idea of security...err...permanance. But is the sex-commitment transaction the arrangement men are looking for? Tickling my brain did this until I came up with the answer, "NO." The price of sex is never worth the trouble of a b*tch as your girl, and any man will tell you that. Men want a women who can ******.

Funny because it rhymes with commit but starts with an s. But I'm left with the question, "Is it too much to ask...?"

[Shogun]

The white cylinder of death smolderd between his fingers.
Curls of toxins emitted from his lips, lazily formed clouds above him.
If they could, they would pour acid rain upon the shell that sat underneath their dry mockery.
A glass with 2 ice cubes sat idle next to him.
The poisonous liquids having long since been consumed.
His thirst for inebriation had already been more then satisfied.
But on this night, he thirsted for something other then the simple joys that hangovers pursued.
He wished to be satiated by flesh.
His hooded eyes met aversions.
Occasionally greeted by a flirtatious smile, or a shy double take.
He yearned to be touched.
But not by these petty empty vessels.
He yearned to be touched, by HER.
Self-Hatred, anger, despair, jealousy, inadequacy, and nauseous pity welled up within him.
He observed then, across the room, a sultry steady gaze and a bitten lower lip.
The piece of meat before him gingerly tugged at her hair.
A suicidal fawn, attempting to quench itself at the edge of the crocodiles nest.
Visions of fanciful rapture and ecstacy filled his primitve lustfull mind.
He wet his lips in anticipation of the kill.
But suddenly the face of tonights conquest had transformed.
SHE haunted every fiber of his being.
Abruptly he stood up, went outside and vommited.
"Not tonight."
He said to himself.
Whereupon he went home to a bed, that could give him no comfort or rest.

[Shogun]

Who am I?


Who am I?
Am I the little devil I was when I was younger?
Am I the energetic monkey I used to be?
I often ponder
by looking at the stats I would see

Who am I?
I need time to think
Maybe I should just go to Minn. with all that snow
All they got is that and two citiest, but what about a rink?
Na, that place sucks. Plus I'd be all alone

Who am I?
I need a capri to sip
I need time to think or even better some dough
I'd play virtual solitaire and let the time slip
Or take my mind off all of it, and hit the gym with rows

Who am I?
You tell me
maybe a friend could help
and I've run out of things to say now. I guess I'm not as smart as I thought I was
*sigh*

[Shogun]

Prose or Rambling?


Today I chased to no avail. I leaped, I ran, and dashed. Through hallways, around corners and even up stairs, I chased her. I chased with no regard to time, without time, and despite of the time. I chased and felt like a fool, or an ass who is led by the neck. With great effort and good intentions, though, I chased. I tryed.

Today I chased but didn't get close. She was right in front of me. I could smell her, feel her aura and even see the glow. I wanted to marvel, to indulge, to extend. Yet, no matter how far I wished my hand could reach, I knew my mind or body did not even reach the fringe. She was close enough to pounce, and yet too far to strike. Well, at least I thought.

I felt like the hunted though I was in pursuit. I saw that playful aloofness on her face. I saw her friendly and coy countenance. She knew I was chasing. She knew what I wanted. It was in her step, in the bounce of her hair, in her averted smile. She was in control. She had the arrows of love, lust, infatuation, or whatever you want to call it, in the precise aim of her right hand and a part of my heart in her left. At some point I forgot who was supposed to be in command, because all I did was chase.

There was no way for me to talk to her today, but I have talked to her. Today I chased, and that's all I did--no measure of will or might could I have mustered would have changed this. I ran out of breath while she kept widening the gap. She hardly lets anyone close. Chasing is one thing but subduing this prize is a whole other feat. Though there just might be a chasm to leap, I believe I got the shortest jump. I have had a taste of this forbidden fruit. She knows every guys wants, that every guy looks, and how they long, yet not every guy is willing to chase into the forrest of uncertainty. Well, except me.

[Shogun]

Smile for me


a Smile from you is a gift

Searching, seeking; thoroughly I sift
More and more: I want. I wish

a Smile from you warms my soul
My thought, my feelings, my heart you stole
Inside built up and you'll never know

a Smile from you is what I need
Might this be a dead end? Should the signs I heed?
Interesting how a smile is like a seed
Low in the ground, 'til it rises, to see

"a Smile he wants to not feel alone."
"Maybe today, the light, he'll be shown--
Insurance for the weak who's accident prone"
"Little can be said becase little is known.
Except he has many." "What vanity," said the stone.

[Shogun]

5 W's

What is gain? What is shame?
When is it fame? When is it pain?
Why the disdain? Why the label 'lame?'
Who is to be tame? Who is to refrain?
Where to lie the slain? Where to place the blame?
How do I beat the game? (and) How do I not act like Cain?

[seekerofvisions]

prose or rambling -

thank you for asking me to read and comment, shogun. although, i would say, your work stands strong on it's own and needs no critique.

no matter how far wished my hand could reach

i'm a little confused with the wording here. perhaps there is a word missing? : )

aim of her right had and a part of my heart in her left

hand?

Though their just might

there?

into the forrest of unsurity.

uncertainty, maybe? : )
-----
i didnt check for punctuation, because sometimes that doesn't really matter.. unless it makes the work confusing to read or interruputs flow.

i also didnt comment on content, really, and that's simply because content is the writer's luxury. it doesnt really matter what anyone else thinks about it. it's the writer's and no one's comments or critiques can change that.

do i like the poem? or course, it's a wonderful piece of prose. did it have flow? i believe so, there were some instances where i think punctuation could help the flow remain consistent, but you know.. that's not for me to comment. it's your work and no one else's comments should matter. : )

keep on, keeping on, shogun. you have a natural talent for writing. just let your work go where your mind takes you. dont be afraid to take chances with it. be honest in your work and dont be afraid to use rhythm. forget the rules the teachers give you.. that's not what writing is about. at least not creative writing. use punctuation and word play to your advantage to create rhythm and just write and write and write.



- Seeker

[Shogun]

"What vanity," said the stone.


And yet here I sit, stand, and lie thinking. I think of what I've lost, gained, and hope to gain. I sit hoping they are thinking the same thing. I stand hope they are not thinking what I'm thinking. I lie thinking what they are thinking and trying to predict what they are thinking. I think too much. I wish I had them to talk to. Then I'd know what it was they were thinking. Then I wouldn't have to worry what they where thinking.

Today I saw THEM. Both of them were there. They both saw me. They both had someone else. They had someone to talk to. I had no one. They both seemed happy. I was in turmoil. They both had purpose. I was looking for a way out. And yet as I saw them, I wondered what it was they were thinking.

If a picture is worth thousand words, then I had two thousand words to think about. And for that whole time I did. I would have like to asked, but they had someone. I would like to ask, but even that is risky business. But I think it's best for me to think since that's what I do best.