I'll love my wife forever, but I'm not in love with her. People change. External stress whether it be the economy, illness, death or whatever will destroy a marriage. It sucks but that's life.
You still have me, buddy. I know we're not sexually compatible but if we were, it would be Viking style.
When will the world learn that a million men are of no importance compared with one man? [Henry David Thoreau]
I don't mind Charles' questions, at least he's contributing to the board.
Been married for almost 29 years now. I don't think we have the same type of love we did when we first got married. We aren't joined at the hip and love sick anymore. I think our love evolved to friendship and mutual respect. I think we'd be crushed if something happened to one of us.
Your right life will tear you to shreds. There have been times when I thought we'd kill each other or get divorced but so far that hasn't happened so I guess we're OK.
Ummm everyone... that's kinda the point, when you're there it really is heaven. I too love my husband but don't feel that I'm IN love with him anymore, when people ask how it's possible to seperate them, I say I love him like I love my kids, I'm not IN love with them either but I do love them with my life.
We have four kids under 13. Now, if my wife and I were fighting like hell every day, and divorce was better for the kids than the stress they would endure from our fighting, then I may suck it up and get divorced, get an apartment, find some new love bird and continue on with my life.
Last edited by Charles; 06-03-2012 at 09:59 AM.
I've seen 2 friends get divorced in the last year who still love their spouses but other stuff just got in the way. I know of several other couples who are hanging on by a thread. Of the 2 divorces, they fought a little dirty, the women lost respect for their husbands (both men didn't work for about 2+ years), and I think 1 couple had unrealistic expectations which is crazy since it's both of their 3rd marriages.
There's a thin line between limerence ("in love") and obsession. How many murder/suicides involve people "in love?"
Well, this is depressing.
I don't know why you're depressed about it. The cult of romance is relatively new, historically speaking. There are a million ways of feeling ecstatic besides being "in love," and without all the drama.
This thread makes me so sad but I guess sometimes the truth hurts yeah?
I don't understand people's strange reactions to this question, it seems so evasive/defensive.
It's a fact of life, scientifically researched and proven, that sexual intensity diminishes after only 18 months in a couple. What's left? Friendship, companionship, projects (kids etc), swinging, cheating... The choices are abundant.
"Love" is just a word. Behind the word are bonds that people share for various reasons. The words "I love you" are very much a psychological trap. That's why I hate saying them. "I love you" = "I need you" or "I can't live without you" or "Please don't ever leave me" or "Please don't ever f*ck someone else"... It's a bunch of la-di-da.
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