How many of you are currently married and you DO NOT love your spouse anymore?

[Charles]

If you're in the mentioned situation, when did your love for you SO diminish?

How long have you been married?

[Malcolm Wright]

Something bothers me about this question.
Its not personal: I'm not married.

I think it may be because you are relatively new to the forum and are asking what many people might find to be a very personal and confronting question. If I were married and no longer in love with my spouse, I'm pretty sure you are the last person I would think of telling, on a public forum no less.

[Charles]

Something bothers me about this question.
Its not personal: I'm not married.

I think it may be because you are relatively new to the forum and are asking what many people might find to be a very personal and confronting question. If I were married and no longer in love with my spouse, I'm pretty sure you are the last person I would think of telling, on a public forum no less.

I guess that may be why no one else has responded.

However, it is an anonymous forum.
It is a legitimate question.
It doesn't violate the terms of service.
It may be interesting to read the responses.
People might learn something.
Some posters might not feel uncomfortable answering the question - some may even be boastful or proud to the extent that they could justify and enjoy their married experience perhaps as companions but not as being in love.
Finally, I'd bet that a very large percentage of the readers out there would answer Yes - but they wouldn't necessarily reveal that. A lot of people (>50%???) remain in marriages long after the love is over.

[enola]

I am very new here as well, but I have noticed Charles is the local Questioner. Some of his questions can be interesting in fun, but this place is starting to look like a Trivia board. Is it?

[Charles]

I am very new here as well, but I have noticed Charles is the local Questioner. Some of his questions can be interesting in fun, but this place is starting to look like a Trivia board. Is it?

Some are trivia but I don't see how this thread is related to trivia.

Trivia is like "Which is the only team besides the Los Angeles Lakers to beat the boston celtics in the NBA championship?"

[josephdphillips]

If you're in the mentioned situation, when did your love for you SO diminish?

Define "love."

[enola]

Some are trivia but I don't see how this thread is related to trivia.

Trivia is like "Which is the only team besides the Los Angeles Lakers to beat the boston celtics in the NBA championship?"

Perhaps trivia is the wrong term. How about quiz? Because that is what it is. A bunch of quizzes.

[josephdphillips]

I'm concerned with the question, not with the taxonomy of a thread.

As a married man, I am very skeptical when a man tells me he no longer "loves" his wife. I've never, ever seen that to be true.

[Charles]

Define "love."

Heck I don't know. Whatever you think it means. Whatever it meant when you loved her?

[Charles]

I'm concerned with the question, not with the taxonomy of a thread.

As a married man, I am very skeptical when a man tells me he no longer "loves" his wife. I've never, ever seen that to be true.

I think it is pretty common. People stay married for a lot of reasons: financial "for the kids", companionship, the "least worst situation", etc. Now, they may not tell you they no longer love their wives, but the context of the thread is about who don't love their spouses - not those who proclaim to not love their spouses.

[BooRadley]

I don't have a wife, but if I did, I wouldn't love. I'd slap her and say GET YOUR BITCH ASS IN THE KITCHEN AND BAKE ME A PIE!

[Charles]

I don't have a wife

Why don't you have a wife?

[enola]

My relationship with hubby is strange. We love each other...but are not IN love. Too hard to explain.
Suffice it to say we are old, have no desire to look for someone new, get along as best friends, were married for over 20 years and fought all the time, got divorced but still lived in the same house as roomies, then remarried cuz we thought it would behoove us to protect ourselves from vultures if something happened to us. So yeah..I'm married, I love him like a brother and he me like a sister, we trust each other explicitly, and are best friends only. Works for us.

[Malcolm Wright]

Perhaps trivia is the wrong term. How about quiz? Because that is what it is. A bunch of quizzes.

Its a new phenomenon, dating from the arrival of Charles. The underlying flavor of the board is more heartfelt.
I like many of the threads you start, Charles, BTW. Its just that the sheer volume of them and their quiz-like nature do make me wonder, for lack of a better way of saying it.

[Malcolm Wright]

I guess that may be why no one else has responded.

However, it is an anonymous forum.
It is a legitimate question.
It doesn't violate the terms of service.
It may be interesting to read the responses.
People might learn something.
Some posters might not feel uncomfortable answering the question - some may even be boastful or proud to the extent that they could justify and enjoy their married experience perhaps as companions but not as being in love.
Finally, I'd bet that a very large percentage of the readers out there would answer Yes - but they wouldn't necessarily reveal that. A lot of people (>50%???) remain in marriages long after the love is over.

Of course it is a legitimate question. Of course it doesn't violate the terms of service - I didn't suggest either of these things.
As for your perception that it is an anonymous forum - that probably comes from your recent arrival. The place becomes less anonymous the longer you stay, and the more everyone learns about each other. There is a certain degree of intimacy here now that does not make it feel so anonymous for those who have been around for years. As for me, I chose long ago not to be anonymous for a host of reasons, mainly having to do with not wanting to say anything I would not back with my name.

I agree with your expectations in terms of answers.

However Enola's question is paramount. Your question becomes vague and for all intents and purposes useless unless you define love quite precisely.
My experience of long term relationships saw love evolve and change but without ceasing to be love. Everyone draws the line in a different place, in terms of the point beyond which one has fallen out of love.

M.

[Charles]

Of course it is a legitimate question. Of course it doesn't violate the terms of service - I didn't suggest either of these things.
As for your perception that it is an anonymous forum - that probably comes from your recent arrival. The place becomes less anonymous the longer you stay, and the more everyone learns about each other. There is a certain degree of intimacy here now that does not make it feel so anonymous for those who have been around for years. As for me, I chose long ago not to be anonymous for a host of reasons, mainly having to do with not wanting to say anything I would not back with my name.

I agree with your expectations in terms of answers.

However Enola's question is paramount. Your question becomes vague and for all intents and purposes useless unless you define love quite precisely.
My experience of long term relationships saw love evolve and change but without ceasing to be love. Everyone draws the line in a different place, in terms of the point beyond which one has fallen out of love.

M.

I don't know what to tell you. I can't define love....I think the thread can still be fun without a definition. Besides, if I provided a definition, it would start a whole new debate on the validity of my definition. Anyway, that's the way I wrote the original post. I think people can run with it without a perfect definition.

I'll be able to start more fun threads when I get some more time in the few days....got four kids to deal with this weekend and the Kings game is on tonight.

[Malcolm Wright]

I don't know what to tell you. I can't define love....I think the thread can still be fun without a definition. Besides, if I provided a definition, it would start a whole new debate on the validity of my definition. Anyway, that's the way I wrote the original post. I think people can run with it without a perfect definition.

I'll be able to start more fun threads when I get some more time in the few days....got four kids to deal with this weekend and the Kings game is on tonight.

Fair enough. Just wanted you to be aware of how it came across to me.

M.

[enola]

Charles, I don't mind the questionaires. Maybe you just want to get the gist of what the folks are like here. I do too. But that will come in time, the more I come around and the longer I stay. But most of your threads seem empty...like something in school of "what's your favorite color" and "who do you think is cute in your class".
Maybe you should start a thread just asking people to introduce/tell us about themselves, since you and I are both new? THEN we can get a handle on who is who, ya know?

Anyway...I started a thread when I got here introducing myself cuz there is no welcome forum..so I did it in The Lounge. I'd sure like to meet more folks and I know I will. It just takes a bit of time.

[Ratbag]

Notices in this discussion Charles own lack of any answer to the question.

[Malcolm Wright]

Notices in this discussion Charles own lack of any answer to the question.

Yes - I think that's a big factor in how all of this comes across.