Quotes from TV you find either memorable/epic/hilarious

[SivVulk]

Wind in the Willows (1984)

(I've partly edited this out as there is just too much woefully inaccurate info Toad is teaching:

Toad: "And then after he won the battle of Trafalgar, Columbus discovered America."
Georgina: Please sir it was Nelson
Toad: "Look Georgina, I know who discovered America!"
Georgina: "No sir, Nelson won the battle of Trafalgar"
Toad: "That's what the silly old history books may say, but I know Columbus beat him easily, thanks to his elephants."
........................

Toad: ....a little rhyme to remember when Columbus discovered America; "In 16 hundred and 17, Columbus sailed the ocean green"
Georgina: Sir it's ocean blue
.......

Toad: So saying farewell to Charles II, Columbus with his faithful Vikings set sail for America.... and weeks later landed on the coast of America, not far from Sydney



Due South

Benton Fraser: "In Canada, we have more than a passing familiarity with confusion. We're comprised of 10 provinces and 2 territories communicating across 6 time zones in 2 official languages. The English don't understand the French, the French don't understand the English, and the Inuit quite frankly couldn't give a damn about either of them. Added to the equation is the Assembly of First Nations, with a total of 633 separate Indian bands speaking 180 sub-dialects among their 50 linguistic groups. And as if that weren't enough, there are some fisherman on the east coast with a remarkably whimsical accent."

Fraser: Ray! Duck! [Ray throws himself to the ground] (Duck quacks) Anas platyrhynos... very unusual sighting for this time of year.
Vecchio: (gets up, muttering to himself) Duck... Duck... Duck means DUCK, duck doesn't mean DUCK!...I hate my life.


24

Chloe O'Brien: When we find the nerve gas and the alert level drops, we can have some chamomile tea and I'll tell you all my secrets, okay?

Aaron Pierce: You are a traitor to your country and a disgrace to your office. And it's my duty to see that you are brought to justice for what you have done. Is there anything else Charles?


Father Ted

Mrs Doyle: There's always time for a nice cup of tea. Sure, didn't the Lord himself pause for a nice cup of tea before giving himself up for the world.
Father Ted: No, he didn't, Mrs Doyle!
Mrs Doyle: Well, whatever the equivalent they had for tea in those days, cake or something. And speaking of cake, I have cake!
[holds up a cupcake]
Father Ted: No, thanks, Mrs Doyle.
Mrs Doyle: Are you sure, Father? There's cocaine in it!
Father Ted: WHAT?
Mrs Doyle: Oh, no, not cocaine. God, what am I on about. No, what d'you call them. Raisins.

[SivVulk]

The Lost World

Some believe what separates men from animals is our ability to reason. The others say it’s language or romantic love or opposable thumbs. Living here in this lost world I’ve come to believe it’s more than our biology. What truly makes us human is our unending search our abiding desire for immortality. From a flower to adorn a garden to a theory that will rock the world. Some seek in death what they failed to achieve in life; building elaborate tombs as if to cage their own souls. Even as I write this I wonder will anybody ever read these words. Perhaps not, but if you do than all I ask is for you to remember me.


Yes Minister

"Minister, Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now when it's worked so well?"

Black Adder

Blackadder: 'We've been sitting here since Christmas 1914, during which time millions of men have died, and we've moved no further than an asthmatic ant with heavy shopping.'


Fawlty Towers

"Oh dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn't have time to perm your ears?"

"Is this a piece of your brain?"

The Big Bang Theory

I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.

Super Ted

Texas Pete: This is a stick up, no it's a hold up... no it's a round up.. it's a.. WHO CARES!"

[Archaix]

A thumbs up for Father Ted, Blackadder and Fawlty Towers: