I, Spaz:

Do not go out getting drunk and partying.

I do not do drugs.

I do not smoke.

I do not sneak out of the house.

I do not steal things.

I DO get good grades.

I do what I am told.

When my parents are screaming at me, I do not yell back. I rarely even argue.

I have never said a single mean word to either of my parents ("I hate you" "you only do this because you don't love me" blahbie blahbie blah).


I get in trouble and yelled at constantly. But why, Spaz?! You sound like a decent person over all.

WRONG! I'm quite the rotten little girl. Why, you may ask?

Because I enjoy the internet! What a terrible, bratty thing for me to do to my poor father.

But wait! Do I get in trouble because I break the rules that involve using the computer? No, of course not! I get in trouble because I have an attitude about it.

Because when my Mom says that she's only going to be on for twenty minutes and I'm in the middle of talking to my best friend (who is grounded from the phone), I believe her and tell my friend that I will be back in that amount of time.

Because when, an hour later, my mom is still on, and the little IM box is blinking orange, I sigh quietly to myself out of disappointment that I won't be able to talk to my friend again that day.

Oh, and if I'm upset--it's ONLY because of the internet. So when the cat trips me after already having a bad day and I get frusterated, it's not because of the bad day. Of course not--I don't have normal emotions.

Mom: What's wrong, hon?
Me: *starts to respond*
Dad: *interrupts* She's upset because I made a new rule about the computer.
Me: *grins like an idiot*

Upset? About the new rule? HAHAHAHAHA! That's rich. The new rule is that I have to be offline 15 minutes before bedtime--WHICH I WAS ALREADY DOING ANYWAY!

So I got a little upset that my dad sees me as a TOTAL BITCH--which was ALSO very bratty of me. So I get screamed at while I stand there, looking at my feet and trying not to cry.

What a whore I am, eh?

OH, oh oh oh. I almost forgot. Apparently, I also think that it is "cool" or "hip" to be on anti-depressants--which is the only reason I ever mentioned it to my mom.

I never said anything in my earlier journal entries because it hurt too much and I was trying to forget it. But back a few weeks ago when I tried to talk to my mom about how sad I get and how scared I was, the first thing she said was:

"Well, I don't know if it's considered cool to be depressed these days and that's why you're saying this, but I have NEVER seen you act depressed or anything like that...."

No shit you haven't seen me acted depressed! Because, like I said first thing....I'VE BEEN TRYING TO HIDE IT FOR ALMOST THREE ****ING YEARS!

Why do they act like I'm so ****ing terrible and then lecture me about self-esteem? Maybe I wouldn't realize what a bitch I was if I wasn't reminded every day of my god damn life!

Christ. >_<




*Note* I do love my parents. They just piss me off to no end. :p

Hehehehe...this is great. :D

Now our fridge is ****ing broken and we don't have any money for a new one. So both of my parents are stressed and tired and were just screaming at eachother. Now my dad just sped out of the drive way to go pick up Micky D's (no working fridge limits our food options), is probably speeding and has no driver's lisence. :)

....atleast they're not screaming at me. :p

I'm tired and in a bad mood too, though, and earlier my mom got me to watch the kids that SHE CHOSE TO BABYSIT TWO--THREE TIMES A WEEK FOR A ****ING YEAR for an couple hours so that she could sleep some.

I almost killed them when they started spilling my stuff all over the place. :)



:|




:bang:

You can be my daughter!!! Geez.....

Simple answer, from a parent. It ain't easy, they don't have all the answers, they are as confused about raising you as you are of growing up.....

I'm sorry......We parent's can be butt wipes at times.

:lol:

Thanks...you made me laugh at any rate. :D