and then you're just blown away by like the worst news that you can hear and it tears down every friggin piece of hope that you'd had and you wonder if you gain ever regain that faith in mankind or in life in general.

i just got back from visiting my uncle in the hospital. i knew that he had been admitted yesterday, but no one told me!@ damn it >: and i knew that he had pneumonia and a possible heart attack. but i didnt know that he had aids.

god damn mother f-ing hell. i had NO idea. no one told me. he told no one but an aunt. i didnt know that he had been sick for so damned long. i had no idea and now every argument i've had, ev ery little bit of distance seems tragic. every tiny bit of miscommunication seems like a small piece of distance that i can't reclaim no matter hwo hard i try i cant go back.

he's been in the hospital twice this year for this and that. twice last year as well. it all makes sense now.

and it breaks my heart that i havent been there for him each and every time he took a bit of a fall. i can't get it back no matter how hard i try. and i love him so much. he's been my rock for so long. my inspiration and i can't save him. no one can.

I have a friend at work who's been positive for at least 10 years-I'm sure your uncle only wanted to spare you-dont worry about the past-you have now.

Seeker, wow, that is alot to take in.
You hang in there, you can be there for your uncle and
family now, that is the important thing.
Some people do choose to keep things to themselves, why?,
that's there option. Be strong stay positive :)

and then you're just blown away by like the worst news that you can hear and it tears down every friggin piece of hope that you'd had and you wonder if you gain ever regain that faith in mankind or in life in general.

i just got back from visiting my uncle in the hospital. i knew that he had been admitted yesterday, but no one told me!@ damn it >: and i knew that he had pneumonia and a possible heart attack. but i didnt know that he had aids.

god damn mother f-ing hell. i had NO idea. no one told me. he told no one but an aunt. i didnt know that he had been sick for so damned long. i had no idea and now every argument i've had, ev ery little bit of distance seems tragic. every tiny bit of miscommunication seems like a small piece of distance that i can't reclaim no matter hwo hard i try i cant go back.

he's been in the hospital twice this year for this and that. twice last year as well. it all makes sense now.

and it breaks my heart that i havent been there for him each and every time he took a bit of a fall. i can't get it back no matter how hard i try. and i love him so much. he's been my rock for so long. my inspiration and i can't save him. no one can.


Dont feel guilty, its done. This is a stepping stone for you to love people harder, no matter what, in the future.

thank you for the kind words. i appreciate it.

i know that it's his option and i understand his reasons. i'm sure he only wanted to protect us and to not be treated any differently. i'm just upset that it's even a reality.

what's more frustrating is that he doesn't want any of us at the hospital to see him.

My step mom passed away from cancer about a year ago. I only found out the extent of her illness a few days prior to that. I made arrangements to leave work for a couple weeks, bought plane tickets, etc. She died before I made it back there. She did'nt want us kids to worry about her. :hmm:

did it also frustrate you? or was it easier for you?

did it also frustrate you? or was it easier for you?

Very frustrating. I got to talk to her on the phone a few times, but she was pretty out of it. I was really pissed at my siblings, they live much closer, and should have been aware what was going on.