Skin and bones,
perfection personified.

She stands in the shadows,
illuminated in dim light.
Tiny and frail,
she carries the image
of an angel.

Stepping into the light
of a dying candle
that is the setting sun,
she is almost nonexistent.
So thin
so invisible.
She is a ghost.

Skin and bones,
the ruins of attempted perfection.

Impressive.

Keep expanding your vocabulary, you'll have an amazing repitoire of words at your disposal. You create some very evocative imagery with your words already, but if I may suggest one slight modification, change "perfection" in the 2nd line to something else. By referencing "attempted perfection" at the end, you don't want to give the reader the impression that the subject of this poem is actually perfect.

Ugh, this is my poetry class rubbing off on me. I'll shut up now unless you want more constructive criticism.

Thanks. :D :D :D

Yeah, I see what you mean. I'll try and fix that. :)


Ugh, this is my poetry class rubbing off on me. I'll shut up now unless you want more constructive criticism.
Nah, that's why I post it. I like the criticism. ^_^