Manu
06-14-2006, 04:49 AM
I was recently talking with Tiffany JQ and she left me a note that was snippet form a journal entry she wrote in early 02, shortly before she left for Madrid for 6 months to study.
"The night was really pleasant- Chris Jansen had this huge video camera and was doing interviews in Manu's huge walk-in closet. Manu went first obviously and made up the questions as he went along. They surprisingly got me thinking- questions like 'what are your goals, your hopes and dreams?' We watched what everyone said and a lot of it was funny, but a lot was heartfelt. And I realized that what possibly bonded this motley crew together, and what attracts me to them, is a refusal to play into the greater game- sure, none of us are true rebels, but no one there is aspiring for a corporate job, no one wants to do something routine and meaningless. They're angsty and with reason. Whether or not we end up selling out doesn't matter right now. We're all hoping for something beyond the scope of a cubicle."
Its amazing how what started as drunken fun ended up being something that would visit me, 4 years later, and really evaluate life. Wow, has it been 4 years since that?
So, as I look at my 9th floor office on Hollywood Blvd, have i lost that edge? Have I sold out to the corporate way of life? Or am I still angsty, looking for purpose and reason, seeking something more?
I'd like to thikn my continual dissatisfaction indicates that I am still searching, but have I grown too comfortable? Have I lost resolve or somehow just grown too comfortable? Do I still hope? Do I still dream?
I was recently talking with Nathan about 'dreams.' Not in the while I am sleeping or day dreaming sense, but goals and aspirations. When you were in high school, you could be anything. A doctor, lawyer, engineer, social worker, teacher, astronomer, IT guy, or something entirely off the beaten path. As we grow older, go to school graduate, get a first job, get a second, we become more specialized, more pigeonholed. Can you ever get back to dreaming? Can you start over? Can you break the shackles of comfort and comformity and be your own person?
Rather, can I?
"The night was really pleasant- Chris Jansen had this huge video camera and was doing interviews in Manu's huge walk-in closet. Manu went first obviously and made up the questions as he went along. They surprisingly got me thinking- questions like 'what are your goals, your hopes and dreams?' We watched what everyone said and a lot of it was funny, but a lot was heartfelt. And I realized that what possibly bonded this motley crew together, and what attracts me to them, is a refusal to play into the greater game- sure, none of us are true rebels, but no one there is aspiring for a corporate job, no one wants to do something routine and meaningless. They're angsty and with reason. Whether or not we end up selling out doesn't matter right now. We're all hoping for something beyond the scope of a cubicle."
Its amazing how what started as drunken fun ended up being something that would visit me, 4 years later, and really evaluate life. Wow, has it been 4 years since that?
So, as I look at my 9th floor office on Hollywood Blvd, have i lost that edge? Have I sold out to the corporate way of life? Or am I still angsty, looking for purpose and reason, seeking something more?
I'd like to thikn my continual dissatisfaction indicates that I am still searching, but have I grown too comfortable? Have I lost resolve or somehow just grown too comfortable? Do I still hope? Do I still dream?
I was recently talking with Nathan about 'dreams.' Not in the while I am sleeping or day dreaming sense, but goals and aspirations. When you were in high school, you could be anything. A doctor, lawyer, engineer, social worker, teacher, astronomer, IT guy, or something entirely off the beaten path. As we grow older, go to school graduate, get a first job, get a second, we become more specialized, more pigeonholed. Can you ever get back to dreaming? Can you start over? Can you break the shackles of comfort and comformity and be your own person?
Rather, can I?