after a first date do you wait to call someone again?

It depends; did you sleep with her? If so, then 2-3 days max. If you didn't sleep with her, then you probably have a week. But, really, we like some sort of attention sooner rather than later. Flowers, the next day are always a great thing. (and, trust me, she'll be so impressed.....especially if you have them sent to her work.)

edit to add: see, the lovely thing about flowers is you don't actually have to talk to her if you are feeling funky about that, but you score the huge bonus points.

hah, no, I enjoy talking soon after, I just don't want to rush it...

Then do the flowers thing, (really, trust me on how much of an impact that will make, especially at her work), and include a card saying something to the effect of, "had a great time, can't wait to see you again".

Why wait if you really want to talk to her and to see her again? Don't play games.

See, it's funny because I was assuming that you, as a guy, were asking, how long before I have to call her, when the reality is, how long before I get to call her, yeah?

Well, hell, disregard all of my advice, (except for the flowers.....really, man, just trust me, it's worth the $50), call her!

I wopuold say it depends on the date and the chemistry. If all went well, I wouldn't wait.

Remember, if you don't call her, someone else will.

Why wait if you really want to talk to her and to see her again? Don't play games.
:werd: ...

What I find really interesting here is that there's not even a moment's consideration that she might call him.

If I liked the chickie, I have always called the next day with a brief call to let said chickie know that I had a good time. I'd tell that I'd like to see her again, but I don't set anything up. Nothing wrong with letting the girl know you had a good time and are interested. And if she thinks that's too clingy, then I move on to the next girl.

What I find really interesting here is that there's not even a moment's consideration that she might call him.

:nice:

Great advice all around.

Baboon, that is basically what I was worried about, the 'too clingy' thing, but ultimately, you're right, if a call the next day to say I had a good time is too much for her...I probably should move on, because I am way too clingy and obsessive for that to possibly work :)

generally the rule of thumb is to call 2-3 days after getting the digits. and if you're having a good time on the first date, you can set up the second date while you're on the first one. but since you didn't do that, you should wait 2-3 days before you call again.

and don't listen to the likes of boedicca on this. PLAY GAMES. trust me. women say they want nice guys, but there's no bigger turnoff than desperation. if you come across as desperate, you'll blow your chances. wait until you've got her reeled in before you start showing your "nice guy" side.

and don't listen to the likes of boedicca on this. PLAY GAMES. trust me. women say they want nice guys, but there's no bigger turnoff than desperation. if you come across as desperate, you'll blow your chances. wait until you've got her reeled in before you start showing your "nice guy" side.


Here's a clue: One doesn't generally succeed in folling anyone, in the long run, by playing games. It is more desperate to engage in tortuous call-timing manipulation than to just be honest and call a gal (or guy) whom one genuinely likes.

If one has to pretend to be somebody he is not to "hook and reel in" a partner, the relationship is doomed.

i usually call the min i get home. this usually works.

I was suprised we weren't getting this cross section earlier.

Bo, there are tons of women that only respond to what Feenix said. Its actually 'good advice' but it goes back to the question of, do I want to date someone like that anyways? Probably not...

I tend to agree with boedicca on this. I've never had any patience with the game playing and it's a real turnoff to me when women do that. To me, that's a sign of immaturity. IMO, there is nothing "desparate" (as Feenix put it) in showing interest and calling right away. I've always been a relationship kind of guy though (not big on dating around), and game playing women seem to be the type that jump from guy to guy.

All my opinion of course, but then again I've never had much a problem with the ladies.

I wopuold say it depends on the date and the chemistry.
This is key. I don't think anyone can give truely apt advice here as they weren't on the date. Some dates have such chemistry that a call the next day wouldn't just be appropriate, but beneficial. Others would warrant a couple days for a call, even if it went well. It's all about the chemistry.

Good advice Jedly.

Manu, do what you think you should do.

After all it's you and not us she's interested in.

I was suprised we weren't getting this cross section earlier.

Bo, there are tons of women that only respond to what Feenix said. Its actually 'good advice' but it goes back to the question of, do I want to date someone like that anyways? Probably not...


Which just adds more weight to my argument: if one wants an authentic relationship, one must be one's authentic self.

Go rent the movie "Swingers." That will answer your question. :)

I wouldn't call the next day. Personally that would scare me off. 2 -3 days is good. :)

I wouldn't call the next day. Personally that would scare me off. 2 -3 days is good. :)
See and thats what worries me :)

I'd like to add

Have you known her for a while (were you friends before you started dating her) ?

If so, I think it's safe to call her the next day. :) If not your best bet is to wait a day or two.


ANNND

Bo, I have to disagree with you. It's not that one shouldn't be himself at all. And it's not playing games by waiting to call.

People generally go into a relationship causually and wanting to get to know the person a bit better before becoming too serious. If you try to move too fast you can scare the person off. You date to get to know somebody, it's not supposed to start off that serious.

Here's a clue: One doesn't generally succeed in folling anyone, in the long run, by playing games. It is more desperate to engage in tortuous call-timing manipulation than to just be honest and call a gal (or guy) whom one genuinely likes.

If one has to pretend to be somebody he is not to "hook and reel in" a partner, the relationship is doomed.

I'm not too sure what "folling around" is, but if Manu likes this girl then he wants her to like him, and I'm just telling him how to get it done.

I was suprised we weren't getting this cross section earlier.

Bo, there are tons of women that only respond to what Feenix said. Its actually 'good advice' but it goes back to the question of, do I want to date someone like that anyways? Probably not...

There's nothing wrong with dating a girl who wants her boyfriend to have some self-respect. This girl barely knows you, and you only get one chance to make a first impression.

Which just adds more weight to my argument: if one wants an authentic relationship, one must be one's authentic self.

...and you can be your authentic self once you've gone out on a few dates. But these things take time.

First dates are always false advertising, on both sides, whether it's intentional or not. You always put your best foot forward when you're on a first date. You're attentive, you dress nice, you act politely, you give compliments. Everybody does it, guy and girls. You can never really get to know someone until they relax around you and you're no longer the ONLY thing on their mind. It is only then that you find out if they are sweet and kind or if they were just being nice because it was a first date.

Women do it to us, so there's no reason why we shouldn't do it back to you. Everyone expects their partner to be on their best bahavior when you're first getting to know each other.

my last post = end of discussion :)

my last post = end of discussion :)

This is key. I don't think anyone can give truely apt advice here as they weren't on the date. Some dates have such chemistry that a call the next day wouldn't just be appropriate, but beneficial. Others would warrant a couple days for a call, even if it went well. It's all about the chemistry.

I disagree. Feelings aren't always mutual at the start of a relationship. If you have great chemistry with someone it's actually best to be more cautious.

If you want to call her, call her. Do what feels right.

Best case scenario: You call at just the right time, things work out, yay for you.
Worst case scenario: You're too early/too late, she's scared off/moved on, it wasn't right. You meet somebody new, yay for you.

I still say you need to watch "Swingers" though.

wait until she calls you

Well, I called...and she seemed happy, we're going to try to get togehter at the end of the weekend

cancel the date so she'll really want to see you next time

I disagree.... some of us women like knowing that he can't stop thinking of us.... kinda like we are on top of the world! Just imagine.... "I am special enough that he is still thinking of me..."

I disagree.... some of us women like knowing that he can't stop thinking of us.... kinda like we are on top of the world! Just imagine.... "I am special enough that he is still thinking of me..."

Well that's exactly why Manu should NOT call her right away, because those women who like that sort of thing tend to like it a little TOO much. The next thing you know, she'll be EXPECTING him to call her three times a day, and when he doesn't, she'll complain that the relationship is in peril, and she'll whine all day about how Manu doesn't love her enough.


BTW, Welcome to DA Cyanide :nice:

I dunno. first dates are really interviews. All you need to do on a first date is do well enough in order to win yourself a second date at which point if there is chemistry things take care of themselves. I suggest you approach the call after the first date as if you would like to get together again, but you also have other things going on. If you don't have other things on your plate then chances are you're not using your time effectively. That way, if you're turned down for a second date, then who cares. As long as YOU had a good time, then screw the other person (at least until you get to know them)

I call a few days later and see what's up. Let the girl know I am going out with some friends and yadda yadda yadda and that it would be cool to see what she is doing. If she says, she is going out, arrange a meeting. If she isn't doing anything then say, hey, when I get done with my thing want to get together later on in the week . . . truthfully, as long as you're having fun that's all that matters. best of luck and cheers.

generally the rule of thumb is to call 2-3 days after getting the digits. and if you're having a good time on the first date, you can set up the second date while you're on the first one. but since you didn't do that, you should wait 2-3 days before you call again.

and don't listen to the likes of boedicca on this. PLAY GAMES. trust me. women say they want nice guys, but there's no bigger turnoff than desperation. if you come across as desperate, you'll blow your chances. wait until you've got her reeled in before you start showing your "nice guy" side.

Sad but true . Keep it mysterious . And good luck . Sometimes nice guys do finish last , but not always .

after a first date do you wait to call someone again?
2-3 days would be great. just don't let the woman wait too long or else she would think you're not interested. just be spontaneous, don't react on a script, rather, let your true self flow out. she would like the more 'natural' you...

Here's a clue: One doesn't generally succeed in folling anyone, in the long run, by playing games. It is more desperate to engage in tortuous call-timing manipulation than to just be honest and call a gal (or guy) whom one genuinely likes.

If one has to pretend to be somebody he is not to "hook and reel in" a partner, the relationship is doomed.

You're being mature.

That's a rather personal question. :|

(I suppose I should read beyond the thread title, eh?)