Hi :D , this is my first time posting even though I have been visiting this forum for a long time. You all seem to be very cool and honest so I figured I would ask for your advice.

I started dating a guy in January that is much younger than me. We are both full time students and he has a full time job and works all the time. I am almost 25 and he just turned 20. We hit it off immediately and I thought it was really going somewhere after 2-3 weeks of dating. He called me 1-2 times a day and I rarely called him (my rule). He made it clear he really liked me and so did I. So I invited him on a 5 day Spring Break trip in mid-March (maybe it was too early) but he seemed cool with it and wanted to go.

Well, a couple of weeks later, he called alot less and we did not see each other that much. It got to the point to where I thought he was just trying to blow me off, but he stayed in contact, just a text message or a call here and there. After I thought I would never hear from him again, he called on Valentines Day and asked me out for his birthday, which was in 2 days. I accepted, but he blew me off. I called him and asked him if he wanted to be friends or date and I was really cool about it. He told me he liked me and wanted to date me, but he was just really busy (and he emphasized being really busy several times) but I have not heard from him in 2 weeks, so I was over him and the whole situation until his roommate (who is also going on the trip) told me today he was still going!! :yikes: I had no idea he was still planning on going. He never gave me a definate answer.

I invited him on the trip, and everybody going on the trip are friends of mine. I am extremely shocked that he even wants to go after all that's happened in the last month. These mixed signals I am getting from him are driving me crazy.

So, what should I do? What should I expect? Help!!! :confused:

He called me 1-2 times a day and I rarely called him (my rule).

...

Well, a couple of weeks later, he called alot less and we did not see each other that much.
He got tired of being the one to put all of the effort into the relationship.

Thanks for your reply :) ....but to clear up that situation, I try not to call guys I really like too much because it scares them away, but I did call him enough to let him know I was interested and trying to make an effort. And this guy in particular has a hectic schedule and when I did call him, I always called at a bad time.

But hell, you could be right

Hi :D , this is my first time posting even though I have been visiting this forum for a long time. You all seem to be very cool and honest so I figured I would ask for your advice.:

Wise, wise girl: Bravo!

I started dating a guy in January that is much younger than me. We are both full time students and he has a full time job and works all the time. I am almost 25 and he just turned 20. :

You're age difference is insignificant.

We hit it off immediately and I thought it was really going somewhere after 2-3 weeks of dating. :

Why? Was there sex? If so, which postitions were used? Did you wear any leather? Were handcuffs involved?

Well, a couple of weeks later, he called alot less and we did not see each other that much. It got to the point to where I thought he was just trying to blow me off,:

I'm beginning to think the answer to my last question was "NO."

So, what should I do? What should I expect? Help!!! :confused:

Well, it seems obvious to me: Arrive at his place wearing only a fur coat, break down the door if he won't let you in, tie him across the bed (face up), and ravage him for several hours.

This oughta help.

Full time student and full time job!? One has to wonder when the poor guy gets any sleep! :eek3:

The guy is obviously seriously busy.

Perhaps one thing you ought to do, since the roommate says this guy is still planning to go on the trip, is find out if he's still planning on going with you! This, of course, should be handled with care, though frankly I doubt I'd be any good at offering advice on how to go about it. Maybe some of the others here will have some good suggestions.

Full time student and full time job!? One has to wonder when the poor guy gets any sleep! :eek3:

There are some things guys will stay awake for......and whataya mean, "Maybe some of the others here will have some good suggestions?"

You don't agree with me?

The guy made a date with you, then stood you up.....you should inform him he's not going on the spring break trip with you, (thus allowing him more time to be 'really busy').

If I were you, I would cancel the trip - unless all I wanted was a casual f*ck buddy type of relationship. This guy has too many things going on in his life, which in reality, has just barely begun. I would rather just enjoy my vacation and not have to deal with the erratic communication issues and to worry about what is going on with him.

There are some things guys will stay awake for......and whataya mean, "Maybe some of the others here will have some good suggestions?"

You don't agree with me?

Sorry...hadn't seen your post at that point.

I will agree with you about the age difference not being a factor in and of itself.

If I were you, I would cancel the trip - unless all I wanted was a casual f*ck buddy type of relationship. This guy has too many things going on in his life, which in reality, has just barely begun. ...

This hits the nail on the head, imo.

Thanks for all your wonderful advice. I think I will probably un-invite him because I really don't want to cancel the trip and I don't want any weirdness that is going to ruin my very needed vacation. It really bothers me that he did not call and ask me if it was okay for him to still go...Don't you all agree?

Should I find out what his intentions are? I really don't care if he goes, he is really fun to hang out with, but I don't know what his intentions are, whether he wants to be friends or what.

Personally, I suggest you don't tell him he's uninvited, then when he shows up at the airport, kick him in the balls and leave him behind.

Personally, I suggest you don't tell him he's uninvited, then when he shows up at the airport, kick him in the balls and leave him behind.

sounds good to me :nice:

He stood you up. It doesn't matter what he wants now. YOU shouldn't want to date him.

If I were you, I'd call him up and tell him that you just want to be friends, and if he still wants to go on the trip, it will just be as friends. Then you can go hook up with some other guy on the trip, and maybe later find a guy who won't stand you up.

Jed is, per usual, correct.

This guys behaviour reminds me of my own... I would act like that, make invitations and promises I would never adhere to, only when I had someone else on the side, you know... one of those bad relationships where nothing is certain, but it's exciting cause the sex is steamin'...:) In effect, you always end up with the "lover", while blowing off everone else around you.

Don't mean to bring you down.

At this point you wouldn't even care if he were bangin' another chick. You hadn't started anything serious yet.

And what does it matter whether he comes to SB trip or not?
If I were you, I'd flert my ass off in front of him. Look like you're having the fun of your life and it's got nothin' to do with HIM. He'll come around...;)

No, don't just look like you're having super fun, actually have super fun. Just forget about him, don't stress about it. If he wants there to be something between you two, he'll put in the hours. But it's no sweat off your back whether he does or doesn't, cuz you've got too much to do to worry, what with having a good time and checkin' out all the cuties on spring break. Tell him you'll give him a call when you get back, and maybe you can hang out then. :nice:

You guys are so awesome!! :nice: I have thought about what you all have suggested and the way I look at it at this point is if he still wants to go, he better not expect to try to hook up with me, cause that is not happening. I am going to have the time of my life whether he is there or not.

Honestly, I don't think he is going on my behalf anyway (even though everyone who is going are my best friends and my brother and I invited him), it has been almost 3 weeks since I have even spoken to him.

You guys are so awesome!! :nice: I have thought about what you all have suggested and the way I look at it at this point is if he still wants to go, he better not expect to try to hook up with me, cause that is not happening. I am going to have the time of my life whether he is there or not.

Honestly, I don't think he is going on my behalf anyway (even though everyone who is going are my best friends and my brother and I invited him), it has been almost 3 weeks since I have even spoken to him.
do what you wanna do. thats all.

3 weeks and no contact? If I were you I'd contact him and tell him to stay home. He could turn out to be a real drag on an otherwise kick ass vacation. See if you can get an actual friend to buy him out and have an even better time!!

See if you can get an actual friend to buy him out and have an even better time!!

Right On!!!:nice:

Sorry for your situation, those things can be hard...really, I think its a cut losses and move on situation...he's either too busy, not that interested, or seeing someone on the side, you don't want to get involved.