I have a new question. A question for the guys, and the women too i guess.

Do you like to have your partner analyze you, then tell you what's wrong with you and what you should do to improve yourself? Is this something that couples do? Does it improve your relationship?

Do you guys appreciate this? Does your partner when you do this?

You must be a girl. Because this is the kind of loaded question that only a girl in a relationship would ask.

It is a girl question, isn't it. :p

I don't like to be analyzed, per se, but if my partner has a suggestion as to how our relationship could be better, sure, what the hell. As a female, I know I'll nag him at some point about something or other. Just the way we womenz work. :p

As for telling me how I could be better, he'd better be wearing a helmet when he says it, cuz I'm liable to slap him. :)

Would you STILL slap,Lass? I mean,wouldn't that hurt your little hand?

It's unhealthy if all your partner does is focus on the bad.

Well, if you're being unneccessarily bitchy to your boyfriend, and he points it out, it's not because he's analyzing you. it's because you should stop.

I have a new question. A question for the guys, and the women too i guess.

Do you like to have your partner analyze you, then tell you what's wrong with you and what you should do to improve yourself? Is this something that couples do? Does it improve your relationship?

Do you guys appreciate this? Does your partner when you do this?

Well, given the choice of having a BJ or being analyzed, I gotta come down on the side of BJ, and I certainly believe it improves the relationship, and I appreciate it more.

Well, given the choice of having a BJ or being analyzed, I gotta come down on the side of BJ, and I certainly believe it improves the relationship, and I appreciate it more.


Even better when she questions whether you like THIS or THAT during those BJs...I just adore a girl who wants to improve and personalize her craft. But then, I've had a couple who liked to stop and chat in the middle of giving head, and that quickly becomes maddening.

You must be a girl. Because this is the kind of loaded question that only a girl in a relationship would ask.

Ya, kind of came across like that didn't it. I tried to make it sound as impartial as possible so that it didn't appear leading by being overly opinionated.

My girlfriend dropped this on me last night. She thinks that her analyzing me and pointing out how I can change is something every couple does. And I obviously don't know anything about real relationships if I think otherwise. Her pointing out my faults should be taken as her just wanting to help and showing she cares.

I think asking your partner for things that you want is essential for a good relationship. I think your partner being your psychiatrist isn't.

It is a girl question, isn't it. :p

I don't like to be analyzed, per se, but if my partner has a suggestion as to how our relationship could be better, sure, what the hell. As a female, I know I'll nag him at some point about something or other. Just the way we womenz work. :p

As for telling me how I could be better, he'd better be wearing a helmet when he says it, cuz I'm liable to slap him. :)

So you're saying that most women do this? Am I really this naive about relationships? Should I just suck it up and accept it?

Well, if you're being unneccessarily bitchy to your boyfriend, and he points it out, it's not because he's analyzing you. it's because you should stop.

Hear, hear.

Well, given the choice of having a BJ or being analyzed, I gotta come down on the side of BJ, and I certainly believe it improves the relationship, and I appreciate it more.

Hear, hear, hear. (golf clap)

I have a new question. A question for the guys, and the women too i guess.

Do you like to have your partner analyze you, then tell you what's wrong with you and what you should do to improve yourself? Is this something that couples do? Does it improve your relationship?

Do you guys appreciate this? Does your partner when you do this?

Wouldn't it be better to be in relationship where you were you enjoyed the time you spend with the other person, appreciated it, and you didn't spend you time together critisizing one another?

I would think that I wouldn't like it :hmm:

You can't expect each other to change. You have to like each other for who you are now. If she can't accept you for you who are, you need to break up and find someone who will.

And no, not all relationships are like that. Only the unhappy ones.

Do you like to have your partner analyze you, then tell you what's wrong with you and what you should do to improve yourself? Is this something that couples do? Does it improve your relationship?

Do you guys appreciate this? Does your partner when you do this?

Change is a natural process for each person, and forcing it on anyone can be a big mistake. Opinions are fine as long as they are requested and not forced on the recipient of the criticism. When you're with someone, it's important to notice their natural pace of personal change b/c this tends to remain constant as far as I've seen.

Constructive criticism in a relationship is probably the most touchy subject other than money (i can't fit in my old jeans anymore, what shoud I do? :rolleyes: ). It must be implemented carefully, after long consideration and careful word choice.

I think your GF sitting down and telling you what's wrong with you so you can change is ****in retarded. This shows that she wants to change you fundamentally, and could be an exhibition of controling behavior. The fact that you're actually entertaining her opinion on the matter of your personal behavior is telling... and it frightens me. Stand up for YOU munk. I'm no expert, but I've been in 2 long term relationships: a 4 yr and a 1yr.

I'm the only one who decides what I do. I react strongly and with the highest level of critical examination when anyone tells me how to be or how to act; but that's just me...

I've never sat down and 'analyzed' one another, but you grow, improve, and talk about things with your partner. You should.

You can't expect each other to change. You have to like each other for who you are now. If she can't accept you for you who are, you need to break up and find someone who will.

And no, not all relationships are like that. Only the unhappy ones.


bingo.

If a lot of your time is spent discussing how your s/o should change (or the other way around) then there's certainly a problem.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with suggestions for improvement though.

There are definitely times where a reasonable request for a change is warranted, at least in my opinion. You have to do the change for yourself as well as for your partner though. You can't simply say "well you want me to change so I will." That doesn't work most of the time. You have to justify the change to yourself in some ways. i.e. Changing in such and such a way will not only benefit you, it will also benefit me in such and such a way.
For example, in my own case, going to the gym not only benefits my s/o, it also benefits me. It makes me look better for her, but it also makes me look better for myself, feel better about myself, and be healthier.

Do you like to have your partner analyze you, then tell you what's wrong with you and what you should do to improve yourself?

In my experience, unsolicited advice is generally unwelcome.

Is this something that couples do? Does it improve your relationship?

Yes and it depends. There are too many variables which you have not specified: context, agenda, motivations to name a few. Constructive criticism = good; devious manipulative guilt trips = bad

Do you guys appreciate this? Does your partner when you do this?

See prior answer.