I go thru this like once a month. Should I? Shouldn't I? Is it worth it? *SIGH* HATE the internal debate!:(

maybe just to let him how the pregnancy is progressing etc..:shrug:

eh mostly I know he's a coward about the situation and I worry that there's something he'd wanna know but be too chicken to pick up the phone to ask

So I ring him to give him the shot at asking questions- sometimes it goes well-sometimes it's AWFUL

eh mostly I know he's a coward about the situation and I worry that there's something he'd wanna know but be too chicken to pick up the phone to ask

So I ring him to give him the shot at asking questions- sometimes it goes well-sometimes it's AWFUL
well just keep the conversation short and to the point, you're doing your part by keeing him informed , as for the rest of it well that will be up to him to come around and decide if he wants to be a part of this child's life, I guess:hmm:

sorry I hope that didn't sound harsh:(

Just try and make sure lines of communication are open between you two. You aren't inclined to do any more than make sure the roads are clear for him to see his baby, once he's born. It's the Daddy's decision of whether or not he lives up to his role.


That's all you can do. :shrug:

Why are you having a baby spawned by someone that's not in your life?

Just try and make sure lines of communication are open between you two. You aren't inclined to do any more than make sure the roads are clear for him to see his baby, once he's born. It's the Daddy's decision of whether or not he lives up to his role.


That's all you can do. :shrug:

:yeahthat:

Mark

Why are you having a baby spawned by someone that's not in your life?


We had already broken up when I found out that I was pregnant. If we couldn't stay tog w/out a kid then in no way could we stay tog just "for the child" :nonono: I made the decision to keep my child planning on being a single mom. I'm an adult and I have the means to raise him on my own. It won't be easy but I can do it.

I think you made the right choice in not getting back together with him. :) A child raised by a single parent is much better off than one being raised by 2 parents who don't love eachother.

I think you made the right choice in not getting back together with him. :) A child raised by a single parent is much better off than one being raised by 2 parents who don't love eachother.
:werd:

You're making a wise decision, Faye, though it's not an easy one. I know you can do it. :nice:

Adoption is a wise alternative. :)

Adoption is a wise alternative. :)

:yeahthat:

....and often overlooked.

Why are you having a baby spawned by someone that's not in your life?

Adoption is a wise alternative. :)

:yeahthat:

....and often overlooked.

Would you be suggesting that had they been wildly in love and the father of the baby died?

Not as strongly, but yeah, maybe.

Adoption,I think not;especially not in this case.
Not every single parent family needs to utalize the adoption route.
Fayebelle said she knows she can do it,I can see no reason to suggest adoption. Sometimes two parents are better than one,sometimes one is better than two.
The topic is "Calling the Bebe's Daddy" not "What should I do with my baby"
Christ.

Adoption was a STRONG option in the begining. But I have a wonderful network of family and friends and who am I to deny my child the right to be a part of them? I have a great life though insanely complicated at times LOL. I'm looking forward to sharing it w/my child.

Would you be suggesting that had they been wildly in love and the father of the baby died?

Not as strongly, but yeah, maybe.

What he said.

frak you all, for offering unsolicited advice for something so personal as keeping her child.

frankly, I'm surprised more people didn't jump in and tell her to abort, though. I guess that's good.

Anyway, go f u c k yourselves, feenix, and igofast.

Intentional single motherhood is not something I support, and I will not appoligize for that. I will however warn you for telling members to go **** themselves. On that note, please don't bypass the curse filter, that is also a warnable offense.

For someone who stopped posting from work because of the word "shit," you certainly are quick to post a swear word. :nonono:

Anyway, go f u c k yourselves, feenix, and igofast.

Hey everyone! Look who figured out a way around the swear filters. :nice:


Oh, and to Kellet......if she were not looking for input, she would'nt have posted this in a public forum.

Spaz has it sussed, all you can do is keep him informed then the rest is up to him, if you find it hard to talk on the phone maybe you could send a letter. Hugs Fayebelle, hope it all goes well.

For someone who stopped posting from work because of the word "shit," you certainly are quick to post a swear word. :nonono:
:werd:

Intentional single motherhood is not something I support, and I will not appoligize for that. I will however warn you for telling members to go **** themselves. On that note, please don't bypass the curse filter, that is also a warnable offense.
It's not "intentional", as far as I can tell. Unless a women goes out, TRIES to get pregnant, then leaves whoever she's with so that she can be a single mother, it's never intentional. You can't stay with someone you don't love just because you're having a child, and you can't get rid of a child you love just because you have issues with the father.


And anyway, if you're SO against single motherhood, WHY did you post here? We shouldn't be turning this into a debate. Faye posted here for advice about calling the FATHER, not advice about whether or not she should raise her child.


Faye, let us know how everythings going, okay? :)

It's not "intentional", as far as I can tell. Unless a women goes out, TRIES to get pregnant, then leaves whoever she's with so that she can be a single mother, it's never intentional. You can't stay with someone you don't love just because you're having a child, and you can't get rid of a child you love just because you have issues with the father.


And anyway, if you're SO against single motherhood, WHY did you post here? We shouldn't be turning this into a debate. Faye posted here for advice about calling the FATHER, not advice about whether or not she should raise her child.


Faye, let us know how everythings going, okay? :)


:werd:

And to the rest of you, the swear filter change ruined DA for me since I can't post here from work anymore, I was just popping in for a minute, and since I'm not at work why should I care?

I don't give a rats ass about any of you asshats anymore.

The end.

It's not "intentional", as far as I can tell.
Yes it is. If she decides to have the baby and keep it without a father in the picture, she is intentionally becoming a single mother.
And anyway, if you're SO against single motherhood, WHY did you post here?
Because I had a question/comment/opinion. This is, afterall, a discussion board.

By the way, I've had several friends that are single mothers. I've given them support emotionally and with my time (babysitting, etc). Doesn't change the fact that I think the kid deserves two parents.

well, it was a pretty rude comment

just saying

not that kel should have called you a jerko or whatever, but its like taking your car to the mechanic's for an oil change, and being told you drive a clunker, you know?

"Adoption is a wise alternative" is rude?

Just curious, but why do you think that a child needs two parents? Sometimes a single mom can do a better job parenting their child than 2 parents.

Play nice, or we're going to have to put people on time outs.

Just curious, but why do you think that a child needs two parents? Sometimes a single mom can do a better job parenting their child than 2 parents.
Sure, if the 2 parents are horrible parents. Look, I've known wonderful people that have come from single parent homes. I know it's not a death sentence. However it doesn't take much logic to figure out that two good parents are better than one. You guys are making a bigger deal of this than I am. Faye is not a bad person, and I'm not even chastizing her.

It is not a bad to think a child deserves the healthiest environment possible, and that's all I believe.

"Adoption is a wise alternative" is rude?

I'm not saying you said it to BE rude, but think about it. You're telling Faye that the biggest decision in her life is a mistake, in a sense. Like, are you assuming that she just never considered it? I dunno, I have a lot of pregnant friends right now, and all but one of them were unplanned. And I would never, ever suggest adoption to them unsolicited.

This thread was about her calling the dad, ya know? It just seems a little insensitive for you to have said it, and a lot insensitive for Kel to react the way she did. But hell, she's preggers too, and I guess they got a sisterhood or something like that.

Sure, if the 2 parents are horrible parents. Look, I've known wonderful people that have come from single parent homes. I know it's not a death sentence. However it doesn't take much logic to figure out that two good parents are better than one. You guys are making a bigger deal of this than I am. Faye is not a bad person, and I'm not even chastizing her.

It is not a bad to think a child deserves the healthiest environment possible, and that's all I believe.
She can use a weapon if she wants. IM just going to use my fists and feets. And I will bite her head. :mad:

how can you be sure that the adoptive parents are better than the mom? There are some shitty homes out there. :hmm:

Yes it is. If she decides to have the baby and keep it without a father in the picture, she is intentionally becoming a single mother.
Okay, if you're being technical, then yes it is intentional. That doesn't mean she woke up one morning and decided "Hey, I wanna be a single mother!". No one WANTS to be a single mother; most women would much rather have a man who isn't an asshat and raise the child with him. But why should someone give up a baby that they love, just because a guy's a jerk to her?

Because I had a question/comment/opinion. This is, afterall, a discussion board.
True. An unnecessary comment, though you did have the right to make it.

Doesn't change the fact that I think the kid deserves two parents.
Every kid deserves two parents, yes. But responsible women deserve to have their children, as well.

What if a father divorces his wife, the mother of his child, and abandons them both? Does that mean the mother should put her 6-year-old up for adoption?
Kids grow up without both of their parents all the time. That doesn't mean it's fun or that we enjoy it, but it's not essential for us to have them both around.
well, it was a pretty rude comment

just saying

not that kel should have called you a jerko or whatever, but its like taking your car to the mechanic's for an oil change, and being told you drive a clunker, you know?
:werd:

So far, the only person not offended my comment is faye. :p

Ema - adoption agencies screen adoptive parents pretty thoroughly.
Spaz - she's making a choice to be a single mother, it's intentional.

I'm (most likely) done with this thread. We're going around in circles. I did not intend to offend anyone or suggest that anyone is a bad person.

Intentional single motherhood is not something I support, and I will not appoligize for that. I will however warn you for telling members to go **** themselves. On that note, please don't bypass the curse filter, that is also a warnable offense.


So what you really believe in is that women shouldn't have the choice to abort an early term embryo - but that they also shouldn't be allowed to raise the child the state forces them to bear.

Thanks for clearing that up!

:nice:

:rolleyes: I have never (nor would I ever) advocate forced adoption.

That's not what he said and you know it. Stop twisting words.

I'm on to you and your cunning ways...:|

*shakes fist*

But your perfectly okay with shaming and belittling single moms.

don't leave jed!

this thread is an excellent excuse for me to call you names and make fun of you!

but seriously, I think you just touched on a very sensitive topic in an unsensitive way, that is all

But your perfectly okay with shaming and belittling single moms.
No, and I don't feel I have. If I have, I appoligize, that was never the intention. Again, I've had some very wonderful friends that were single mothers. A couple of them I think would have been better off if they gave their child up for adoption, but they didn't and I don't hold it against them, and I admire the work they've had to put in to be a single parent, and I've helped when I could. Hell my (half) brother has grown up without a father.

There are single parents that are wonderful parents. It just sucks that the kid is deprived of a mother or father.

I don't know how to make it more clear that I'm not calling anyone a bad person here.

Fair enough. Your earlier posts were a tad hostile.

I agree that the ideal situation is for a child to be raised by two loving and responsible parents - but one is better than none.

Fair enough. Your earlier posts were a tad hostile.
My posts towards fayebelle were not intended to be, if they were, I appologize to her. My posts to other people may have been a little intentionally hostile because I don't like people jumping to conclusions about me (which you did too :) ). But it's all good, no harm, no foul.
I agree that the ideal situation is for a child to be raised by two loving and responsible parents - but one is better than none.
I'd be an idiot if I disagreed.

:werd:


I don't give a rats ass about any of you asshats anymore.

The end.

Show of hands, who else besides me actually own an asshat?

Show of hands, who else besides me actually own an asshat?
i bet ÆSiR does... :scratch:

eh mostly I know he's a coward about the situation and I worry that there's something he'd wanna know but be too chicken to pick up the phone to ask

So I ring him to give him the shot at asking questions- sometimes it goes well-sometimes it's AWFUL

well just keep the conversation short and to the point, you're doing your part by keeing him informed , as for the rest of it well that will be up to him to come around and decide if he wants to be a part of this child's life, I guess:hmm:

sorry I hope that didn't sound harsh:(


Dawn is right on the money IMO.

He has to make the decision to be a part of the baby's life. You're doing what is right in giving him the option, but not forcing it.

i bet ÆSiR does... :scratch:
:lol: ....

i bet ÆSiR does... :scratch:


That's not a nice thing to call Dawn :(

That's not a nice thing to call Dawn :(
wah:p

;)

:lol: ....
:D :D
That's not a nice thing to call Dawn :(
that's not nice bb... :nonono:

One single parent would be far better than two "waste of space" parents or parents who are constantly at war with each other, in the latter case, the child is better off without the psycological torture of battling parents.

That's not a nice thing to call Dawn :(

:rofl:

I don't know what life would be like without my daughter....

So far, the only person not offended my comment is faye. :p

Ema - adoption agencies screen adoptive parents pretty thoroughly.
Spaz - she's making a choice to be a single mother, it's intentional.

I'm (most likely) done with this thread. We're going around in circles. I did not intend to offend anyone or suggest that anyone is a bad person.

Im not offended, just confused. :P

ummmm HI! Well I gave up message boards for Lent so I haven't been on for a bit and had no idea this got so heated

FYI- nobody has offended me- I'm the queen of tangent posting and derailing when threads send me off on other topics LOL

1st- I am not in any way blocking the father from being involved- I'm just making it his choice- on every level- I'm not demanding time or money from him- I had a choice and I made it- it's his choice what he does from here IMHO

2nd- the situation is a bit different- you have to consider that he's in the Army- he leaves in May for Italy and then deployment to war from there- he already has his orders thru Nov 07- as of right now aside from possible holiday leaves he won't even be in the states till my child is almost 4

3rd- I have a grandfather- 3 uncles- about 6 male cousins- a boyfriend (who is a great guy and barring any insane circumstances will remain a good friend no matter what) and a garage full of guy pals already lined up to be supportive male role models


All of these things are good for me and the baby but sometimes they make HIM feel more isolated and unnecessary- so he struggles on where he fits in

ummmm HI! Well I gave up message boards for Lent so I haven't been on for a bit and had no idea this got so heated


Lent's not over yet, you know. You lasted about a week and a half! :p

AHEM my religion allows free passes on Sundays although I haven't even used it that much thankee berry mooch LOL

Faye, I gotta say I'm very impressed with the way you're dealing with a very difficult situation. From what I can tell about you from your posts your child is lucky to have such an intelligent and well rounded Mom.





Jed...you are an bad, bad man.

Go to your room...no soup for you!

Are you just saying that b/c you approve of the way I take my martinis? :)

Seriously that was very nice Colonel and I hope I can live up to the compliment.

the way I take my martinis?

Dirty right?

Faye...you are a dirty, dirty girl.

Go to my room.

:lol:

Greygoose very dirty very dry starts good but doesn't sound like bedroom material by the end LMAO

No matter.

I'll be drinking Tequila/jell-o shooters.

Jed...you are an bad, bad man.

Go to your room...no soup for you!
It's true, I am. :hmm: