yep... lots a folks here with bad relationships.:)

Including me.:)

Sociologically speaking, men and women are at war. We're like Israelis and Palestinians; it's an old, neverending conflict. But, we must continue to live side by side.:)

This is my dilemma: I've always given priority to good sex. Since men and women have such different interests in life in general, tell me, what other need do we fulfill by being with the opposite sex? OK, I can think of one thing: children. Still, lots of single parents out there, so it doesn't really bring us together.

Personally, as long as the lover is a great performer, I don't care about the fighting and the ugly stuff. When people post comments like: "that is not a functional relationship", it feels like a superficial response. You think it's about the particular couple/combination of the two people. You might even be right. But the chances of any of us meeting that perfect match are very slim. So why must we (in apparently "disfunctional" relationships) endure judgement from the rest of you who "think" they have it so good? Soon enough, I'll be thinking that having ANY relationship is an achievement in it's own right.

Why on earth would you want to have a "peaceful" relationship anyway??? It's boring! You like boring? I hate it!:) The best sex happens after a fight. Admit it - commoooooon....:D

that's not being in a relationship, that's more like having a **** buddy. :hmm:

Actually loving a person and being able to have the connection is so much better than sex. Maybe you haven't experienced it yet, but if you haven't and when you do you probably will think differently.

Everyone is different. It seems to me you're comfortable with your sexuality and your sexual prowess. You need an aggressive lover to keep your life interesting, perhaps you even need two or three. Everyone's mating strategies are different. Finding someone with a similar one is difficult.

I love sex. God. Great sex, when you find it, is something to treasure. But, there really are more important things in life. Love and friendship. I'd take those over the most amazing sex any day. If I were in a relationship where the sex was phenomenal, but we didn't get along, hell no I wouldn't stay in it. Just not worth it to me. Personally, I think that saying you'd stay in a bad relationship soley because of the sex is extremely superficial. But that's me. Whatever makes you happy. :shrug:

yep... lots a folks here with bad relationships.:)

Including me.:)

Sociologically speaking, men and women are at war. We're like Israelis and Palestinians; it's an old, neverending conflict. But, we must continue to live side by side.:)

This is my dilemma: I've always given priority to good sex. Since men and women have such different interests in life in general, tell me, what other need do we fulfill by being with the opposite sex? OK, I can think of one thing: children. Still, lots of single parents out there, so it doesn't really bring us together.

Personally, as long as the lover is a great performer, I don't care about the fighting and the ugly stuff. When people post comments like: "that is not a functional relationship", it feels like a superficial response. You think it's about the particular couple/combination of the two people. You might even be right. But the chances of any of us meeting that perfect match are very slim. So why must we (in apparently "disfunctional" relationships) endure judgement from the rest of you who "think" they have it so good? Soon enough, I'll be thinking that having ANY relationship is an achievement in it's own right.

Why on earth would you want to have a "peaceful" relationship anyway??? It's boring! You like boring? I hate it!:) The best sex happens after a fight. Admit it - commoooooon....:D
Drama gets old fast. If you need an argument to get off, however, have at 'er...that's your business

Y'all replied exactly the way I thought you would. Y'all are right, sex can't be everything. I should know... I've cheated on boyfriends even when they were great lovers. Pardon me for being so straight forward. 'Tis the truth.

Currently, I'm experiencing that saying:"as you sow so shall you reap"... Since I have given nothing, I have nothing. I didn't want to marry the first guy who proposed to me, cause I wasn't sure/ready. Well - he's getting married this year. I didn't want to have the second guy's baby, so he left me for a younger woman and, guess what?:) They're having a baby this year.
And the guy from the dysfunctional relationship doesn't want the "drama" anymore, so he took the back door....

In effect, I feel that none of these men were ever my type, quite honestly. I'd cheated on them all. How do you consider serious plans with people you'd been unfaithful to? I was indicisive, but in a way, I was fair to them, by letting them move on.

Now I look back at my defeat, and I honestly don't know where to start. I don't know whether I should change. Must I change? Would you hold yourself back in order to gain someone's affections? Would you not be yourself?

I am not someone easy to love. They've all accused me of being too argumentative and stubborn. My views are either too feminist or communist. I'm an atheist, so the catholic boyfriends didn't understand my lack of interest in christmass and other "north-american" holidays. Every time I'd argue a point, the man would turn his back to me, as if to say: "women are not supposed to answer back"... And so, even if I am loving, and kind and generous, it won't do. All because I refuse to play a "role". And that role is the kind, sweet, understanding female, who cookes for you and rubs your back every night before you go to sleep.

I can't cook, I'm afraid of having kids, I'm afraid of being alone, and that's what I am. What do you think is the answer to this problem?

First of all stop cheating. If you don't see yourself going somewhere with a boyfriend break it off with him. Don't sleep around behind his back. That's disrespectful to both you and him. You don't HAVE to be in a serious relationship, but if you choose to commit yourself to somebody you have an obligation to remain faithful to him.

Second of all, not all men are looking for that submissive kind of woman. Many men find that women similar to yourself are their type. Date around, I'm sure you'll find someone. But until you're ready to be in a serious relationship with someone, don't commit yourself to anyone. That's not fair to either of you.

Y'all replied exactly the way I thought you would. Y'all are right, sex can't be everything. I should know... I've cheated on boyfriends even when they were great lovers. Pardon me for being so straight forward. 'Tis the truth.

Currently, I'm experiencing that saying:"as you sow so shall you reap"... Since I have given nothing, I have nothing. I didn't want to marry the first guy who proposed to me, cause I wasn't sure/ready. Well - he's getting married this year. I didn't want to have the second guy's baby, so he left me for a younger woman and, guess what?:) They're having a baby this year.
And the guy from the dysfunctional relationship doesn't want the "drama" anymore, so he took the back door....

In effect, I feel that none of these men were ever my type, quite honestly. I'd cheated on them all. How do you consider serious plans with people you'd been unfaithful to? I was indicisive, but in a way, I was fair to them, by letting them move on.

Now I look back at my defeat, and I honestly don't know where to start. I don't know whether I should change. Must I change? Would you hold yourself back in order to gain someone's affections? Would you not be yourself?

I am not someone easy to love. They've all accused me of being too argumentative and stubborn. My views are either too feminist or communist. I'm an atheist, so the catholic boyfriends didn't understand my lack of interest in christmass and other "north-american" holidays. Every time I'd argue a point, the man would turn his back to me, as if to say: "women are not supposed to answer back"... And so, even if I am loving, and kind and generous, it won't do. All because I refuse to play a "role". And that role is the kind, sweet, understanding female, who cookes for you and rubs your back every night before you go to sleep.

I can't cook, I'm afraid of having kids, I'm afraid of being alone, and that's what I am. What do you think is the answer to this problem?

Are you insecure with yourself? Do you find yourself good at anything that doesn't relate to sex or infidelity? Is charming men and the thrill of cheating the only things that get your blood rushing? These are serious questions, I'm not judging you.

Frankly I think all you're doing is sowing wild oats. Have you always been this way or did the pilot light of sexual desires only recently become as strongly lit as it is now?

Simple truth is not everyone, in fact very few, are biologically programmed to be monogamous. We didn't evolve from purely monogamous apes and of our closest relatives we have polygamous and harem holding behavior. Further down the line we have gibbons which tend to stick with one partner yet only have sex once every few years. Humans are somewhere in between. I'm not "blaming" biology; I'm just saying that is the way it is.

I recently got out of a relationship in which the woman was probably a lot like you in having cheated on everyone she ever dated (myself included). The problem is you, and her, both feel guilty or like you're doing something objectively wrong. If you're screwing with people who don't share your mating strategy then you're going to have problems. You need to find someone who shares your mating system, someone who doesn't mind "cheating" and being "cheated on." If you have problems with being cheated on then you need to come to a compromise with yourself, either stop cheating yourself or let them cheat and learn to deal with it. Many couples who try this actually find it rather erotic (pending disease). Otherwise you're just going to have to squelch your desires which doesn't seem timely for you.

Your other choice is to of course avoid serious relationships and just have casual sex with various men. Given your history I’d say you’re only getting into relationships out of convention.

Hope that helps. Personally I find that telling people to simply stop cheating and so forth is an exercise in futility. If that's how you feel, do it. Just do it to the right people.