I am 17, I am straight and very much want to be in a relationship yet whenever a guy gets close I push him away. This has happened a few times but happened again this weekend. I met a guy, a guy I've known by name for ages but never really spoken to. I was at this party and we got together, so far so good. Then the next day i feel sick and nervous and then that night I went to this party with my friends and he was coming. I don't really know how to explain this but I was terrified. I was crying. I was shaking and I just wished I'd never met him. As it is we talked and both decided we didn't want a relationship right now but I don't understand why I can't just enjoy it. I mean i know meeting people is supposed to be nerve wracking but like butterflies in the stomach sort of friendly neves not proper fear that was almost paralysing. This isn't the first time either and until I can understand what is going on inside my head I'm never goin to be able to have proper relationships. I know this sounds silly but I am seriously worried I'm never goin to have an enjoyable relationship. As anyone else ever felt like this? Is it because its the wrong guy? People just say to relax but this isnt a concious sort of nervousness. Its sort of uncontrollable and inside me. The irony is that when I am actually with the guy it goes away but I can't take it in between whiles, I just can't.

When you're going through something, such an anxiety or depression, this is normal behavior. Or if you had a past bad experience with a guy (or more than one), in can be harder to relax when it comes to new relationships.

If it's not anything I've listed, then I'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe you should try talking to a shrink about it, if it's truly as bad as you claim.

What about masturbation? Does this work for you? If so, then what fantacies do you have while you do it?

Questionably,
Samson

What do you feel the cause of this anxiety is? I don't want to get personal but if you had a rough childhood (e. g. abuse, sexual abuse and so on) then that would explain your dilemma. If not (and I hope not), you just need to keep trying and eventually it'll get easier. Right now you've got an enormous psychological block in that you are starting to expect this to happen everytime. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What about masturbation? Does this work for you? If so, then what fantacies do you have while you do it?

Questionably,
Samson

How surprising you would choose to focus on this...:rolleyes:

You're 17. You shouldn't be having relationships anyway.

you're only 4 years older than him!

17 is a good age to start having relationships. :)

17 is a good age to start having relationships. :)

I thought that's what I said?

lemme ask yah somethin' afraid, are you afraid of everything else, too? as in, would you ever go bungee jumping? are you afraid of dancing in front of other people? do you drive 55 mph on the interstate?

maybe you just need to build some confidence by doing more things that scare you.

you're only 4 years older than him!
her.

If it's as serious a problem as you make it sound like you need to see a therapist, not a bunch of strangers on a bulletin board.

You're 17. You shouldn't be having relationships anyway.
:stupid:
you're only 4 years older than him!

17 is a good age to start having relationships. :)
:eek7: Err, no.
her.

If it's as serious a problem as you make it sound like you need to see a therapist, not a bunch of strangers on a bulletin board.
:stupid:

I know this sounds silly but I am seriously worried I'm never goin to have an enjoyable relationship. ..... The irony is that when I am actually with the guy it goes away but I can't take it in between whiles, I just can't.

I still say masturbation would help you a whole lot. Perhaps you are unfamiliar with technique? If you could describe what you've been doing I'll be happy to suggest corrective proceedures.

Wrong forum, Sammy.

:lol:

Wrong forum, Sammy.

Hey, I'm just try'n to help here!:D

I would suggest if you are getting that nervous around this guy maybe he just isnt the right guy. You should feel comfortable. While butterflies are normal, you shouldnt have that much anxiety, fear, etc

Hey, I'm just try'n to help here!:D


Samson.....helping out the best way he knows how!:p

LOL...either you guys scared her off, or she's busy polishing the pearl.