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View Full Version : I think Im holding people at arms length


BonnieBon
05-22-2002, 10:20 PM
I have the best friends I could imagine. Okay, they arent drama people like me, most of them have never set foot on a stage, but actually, that rocks because it makes them impressed with the things I do- and I never have to compete with them. But- The relationships are all very new.. I've only known them for a year or so... In some ways, they know a lot about me.. but in some ways they dont know me at all. I'm te kind of person who needs those one on one kind of relationships... I'm really an open book- my life story gets told often...i mean, not the whole thing, but i have interesting stories that often come up. Anyways, they all kind of know a bit about the drama I have been faced with this year, but they dont know the story behind all of it, and its just... i dont know.. I feel like they dont really know me because of it. Thus, I end up not having those really close relationships, where my friends know me really well. My other friends are mostly from back in high school, and I see them occasionally, or talk to some of them online. That is nice. Even the ones I never totally got along with are awesome. I never knew how important history is in a friendship. To look at my friend and say one word and have us both bust up in laughter is really no small thing. I know I'll build history with these new friends, but in the meantime, I need them a lot. Im kind of stuck in this situation where i at least need them to know what I am dealing with, but I cant really explain explain it to them. I dont know if any of this makes any sense, but if anyone other than me reads this, I will explain on the wellness and spirituality board when I have more than a minute= right now I have to write my persuasive speech for speech 101... wow-- i have become such a procrastinator it is unbelievable, i havent been this lazy since I had "senioritis" my last year of high school

DotCom
06-04-2002, 01:04 PM
SASHES!!!!






-------Just had an 85 second rule moment----------

PissyPrincess
06-04-2002, 01:58 PM
I understand completely where you are at right now BonnieBon. I am faced with the same dillemma. I find myself telling my best "new stories" or things that have happened that I just have not felt the need to tell previously. But I still am holding her at arms length a bit. I really do not have that one person that knows everything anymore ... he died years ago and I guess part of me is still coping with that and I don't want to let anyone else in. Those that had been let in hurt me and I find that I am dying daily from that pain. Dreadfully I have no words for you at this point except I understand where you are and if you feel like talking my email is Neptune8265@yahoo.com

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