OK...I need help, you guys seem really open and honest and I need that. Cant really ask any of my guy friends questions they give me bad advice. I was dating a girl for about 5 years, about a year ago I cheated on her (I know dumb thing to do) Well I told her about a week later when it was really bothering me alot. I felt super bad about it. Well everything seemed cool since then, but around xmas time we kinda go into a discussion and she said she didnt didnt want to be with me anymore but she still loved me...not sure what that means. Well I told her I would move out as soon as possible. For the next few days I tried to talk to her and tell her I love her and stuff. Sent her flowers at work tried going on dates but she says she doesnt even want to do that anymore. I know one of the reason she doesnt want to be with me is that she doesnt trust me but Ive done everything possible to show her she can. I know shes not seeing anyone or anything like that, if she was I would just let her be on her way. Its just that I kinda realized Im super in love with her and she means the world to me. Should I just forget about it ?? Should I keep trying? I dont want to be one of those weirdos that keeps calling? Thanx in advance.

There's no predicting how this will turn out-I know some women who don't respect you till you cheat on them- a lot will just give up on you if you do-whatever,get ready for an unpleasant ride...

no, really, am I the only one who thinks that every one of these noob "my life sucks" threads are from the same person?

I think a lot of them are. For some reason, though, I think this one's legit.

As for you, somecallmeTIM, I have an idea for what you can do next.

Cut your losses and walk away. There's no way you're going to be happy again with this woman, at least not for very long. Go do what you have to do in order to break off your ties with her and get her out of your life. Then take some time to yourself to gather your wits and emotions about you and get them in order, and then go back out onto the field and find somebody new.

I guess you guys are right....It just kinda sux shes a realy nice girl and Im totally in love with her but no sense and wasting my time for no reason. It just seemed that if someone loves you you should try to be with them if you love them too.....maybe Im being too simple.

A man who cheats on his woman deserves what he gets.

The only things you can do right now are things that will make her not want to be with her. I think that's from Swingers.

If she wants to break up you really have to respect that and just let it happen. There isn't any demonstration of your love that's going to pull her back in, don't stress yourself out over it or go broke in the process.

A man who cheats on his woman deserves what he gets.
:werd:

It seems to me that if you loved her so completely, you would have never even had the urge to cheat. Let it go; let her move on, and let her and be happy with someone who really cares about her. Holding on now would only hurt her worse.

hey people make mistakes she forgave me for it atleast thats what she said. I was asking for advice not comments about what I already knew, I guess you never screwed up huh Baboon. Thanx for the advice and honesty everyone.

hey people make mistakes she forgave me for it atleast thats what she said. I was asking for advice not comments about what I already knew, I guess you never screwed up huh Baboon. Thanx for the advice and honesty everyone.

Not to be judgemental, but what goes around, does often come back around to haunt you. You're cheating on her played it's part in her decision to split with you. Deal with it, and more importantly, learn from it. You've already blown your chances with this woman, now move on, and DON'T make this 'mistake' again.

I was asking for advice not comments about what I already knew, I guess you never screwed up huh Baboon. Thanx for the advice and honesty everyone.

You screwed up any hope of having a relationship with this woman.
Ever hear of the phrase, "Forgive, but never forget." Well she will never, ever, ever forget.

How would you feel towards her if she cheated on you?
Would you ever be able to trust her again?

Cheating isn't a mistake, you knew the consequences and did it anyways, you dug your own grave, now lie in it. She deserves better than you. Cheaters are among the lowest scum on the earth.

There's your honesty.

I guess you never screwed up huh Baboon.

Why no, I have never cheated on a woman. It's really not too difficult to stay faithful and keep your dick in your pants. Not for real men, anyway.

You lie in the bed you made.

It's over with this woman. She'll never trust you again. And she SHOULDN'T! You did somethign bad, and now it's time to pay the price. Stop trying to get away with it.

Get her out of your life, move on, start a new relationship, and for heaven's sake, don't cheat on the next girl.

^Well its nice to hear a man say that; I really dont think its that hard either.
I think you should stop pursuing her, if she really loves you and wants the relationship to continue she will come back to you.

Truth is the relationship probably wasn't going anywhere and now you're just going through relationship withdrawl. As soon as one partner or another starts sneaking around on the other it it is usually an indication that things are not clicking at least on one side. Whatever your reasons for sleeping with someone else one thing is clear, you weren't happy with what you had.

Maybe now you are saying "I had to make that mistake to know what I really wanted" but that is garbage. You don't need to stick your penis in a blender to figure out you'll later miss it. You didn't want her at the time and you still don't want her now, despite your feelings of being lonely, sad and so on. Like I said it is relationship withdrawl.

I'll give you credit for telling her the truth, no body can really get on you for that. You did something that was less than desirable in most peoples books but at least you came clean about it. When my ex cheated on me I had to find out through investigating, time consuming complex thought processes and reasoning and other people.

You'll now move on because you have no other choice. You should probably learn from what you did. And by the way, be thankful that she doesn't want you back. If she got it in her mind to get revenge she could rip your heart out and stomp on it in an instant. In fact I'd be very cautious if she ever did want to come back to you. You'll be incredible vulnerable and overwhelmed by it all that you won't see her preparing to stab you in the back and then it is too late.

I dont agree not many women would go through the trouble of stepping back into a relationship for revenge purposes. If she wanted to do so she could have simply continued to play along. Anyway, perhaps the the thought of revenge has yet to cross her mind.
So your suggestion is worth thinking about especially if he is well off.

Cheating is cheating I agree with that and I shouldnt have done it and now I have to pay the price but just becuase some one admits to cheating doesnt men they F'd someone ......I cheated on her plain and simple, maybe my interpretation includes more things then most people, I think you can cheat in many ways I did cheat on her I did make out , feel up do the "motor boat" (Wedding Crashers phrase) but I didnt screw her or get head or go down town to eat out. In my eyes if she did the same I would have called it cheating, so I call it cheating. No offense to anyone, it doesnt take away from what I did just wanted everyone to know the facts so they can give accurate advice and Im glad people are being brutally honest . Thats what I need. I just always thought that if you loved someone you should atleast try and show that you care and would fight for her if you did something stupid like I did. Not to far , no crazy stalker crap or wire taps.

Which made you feel worse, admitting that you cheated or her leaving you (possibly) because of it? You shouldn't have told her about the cheating. :D

Her leaving without a doubt.....pretty crappy. Alot of people told me not to say anything but If the roles were different I would want her to tell me. So I did....I would do it again(tell her that is) if your not honest you cant have a relationship. I think alot of people who tear into other people about cheating dont like to admit the fact that they are human and they or someone they love can make the same mistake. Never say never.

Chances are, eventually, she would have found out about your indiscretion. It's just a matter of time.

Nice to see all the good men posting in this thread. :nice:

We are very lucky to have a lot of good men on this site. :)

I've been holding back from it because if I let my true feelings out I'd just be dumping on the guy even moreso than the others already have.

Sweet and simple. You ****ed up. Do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars...

I think you told her not because you cared so much about her, but if you look deep down inside you told her because you knew the guilt of lying to her on top of cheating would have eaten you up.

Anyhow, none of us truly know you or what your relationship was like besides from the few words you told us, but from that description the resounding advice is this; move on.

Her leaving without a doubt.....pretty crappy. Alot of people told me not to say anything but If the roles were different I would want her to tell me. So I did....I would do it again(tell her that is) if your not honest you cant have a relationship. I think alot of people who tear into other people about cheating dont like to admit the fact that they are human and they or someone they love can make the same mistake. Never say never.You can't have a relationship if you cheat either. It's the same as lying to the person. It's doing something dishonest behind their back. :|

Sweet ok thanx everyone.

We are very lucky to have a lot of good men on this site. :)

Yes, we are very fortunate indeed!!! :nice: :cool:

Am I a good man?

dude, you're a pink eraser wearing a diaper for some reason

good man, psh...

Cheating is cheating I agree with that and I shouldnt have done it and now I have to pay the price but just becuase some one admits to cheating doesnt men they F'd someone ......I cheated on her plain and simple, maybe my interpretation includes more things then most people, I think you can cheat in many ways I did cheat on her I did make out , feel up do the "motor boat" (Wedding Crashers phrase) but I didnt screw her or get head or go down town to eat out. In my eyes if she did the same I would have called it cheating, so I call it cheating. No offense to anyone, it doesnt take away from what I did just wanted everyone to know the facts so they can give accurate advice and Im glad people are being brutally honest . Thats what I need. I just always thought that if you loved someone you should atleast try and show that you care and would fight for her if you did something stupid like I did. Not to far , no crazy stalker crap or wire taps.
Okay, dude, TMI. :P

Still, cheating is cheating. You weren't loyal to her, and she probably feels like she can't trust you. A relationship without trust might as well not exist, since there is no love behind it at all.

Am I a good man?

I dunno, I have nothing to judge it by. :shrug:

Don't bother trying to be a good man, just be a man. Let history judge you.

Dont GIVE UP!!!.... she already giving u a hint that she still love u... 'didnt want to be with me anymore but she still loved me'........ u dont stop becuz u feel yourself is 1 of d weird... i know u feel sad or hard... cant blame it... cuz u were d 1 who make this **** happen, u cheated her... u broke her heart... so now u gotta heal it... so u gotta try hard to win her back... make her trust u back... but dun push her too hard... easy ok... cuz if u push too hard u might make her feel annoying... if u still cant get her heart back... then u gotta change yourself... change your look or anything possible to make her have a good impression on you... to make her feel that u really change, n then... once she got a good impression on u thats where u start to court her again... from d beggining just like a new begin, forget bout d past which unhappy stuff n have a new begin, well u might think this is a stupid way... but she was d 1 for u... u love her so much... so its worth it to sacrifice abit just to get our love 1...

well thanx for everything everyone, I decided its time to let this one die. Its totally my fault and cant change her mind so no point and dragging the inevitable on.I love her more then anything but I screwed up and now most pay for it . I really apperciate everyones advice its was a tuff time and I really had no one who could give me unbias advice. Good luck to everyone out there and thanx again.

OK...I need help, you guys seem really open and honest and I need that. Cant really ask any of my guy friends questions they give me bad advice. I was dating a girl for about 5 years, about a year ago I cheated on her (I know dumb thing to do) Well I told her about a week later when it was really bothering me alot. I felt super bad about it. Well everything seemed cool since then, but around xmas time we kinda go into a discussion and she said she didnt didnt want to be with me anymore but she still loved me...not sure what that means. Well I told her I would move out as soon as possible. For the next few days I tried to talk to her and tell her I love her and stuff. Sent her flowers at work tried going on dates but she says she doesnt even want to do that anymore. I know one of the reason she doesnt want to be with me is that she doesnt trust me but Ive done everything possible to show her she can. I know shes not seeing anyone or anything like that, if she was I would just let her be on her way. Its just that I kinda realized Im super in love with her and she means the world to me. Should I just forget about it ?? Should I keep trying? I dont want to be one of those weirdos that keeps calling? Thanx in advance.

I'm lazy.... keep that in mind.

I'd want her to be happy. If that ment mooving on, then so be it. I would not go chasing after her.