:hmm: Im starting this off by saying im 18 and he's 36. were 18 years apart...im in love with him but i dont know if he feels the same way. ive known him only for 5 months but its real. we've already took it to that level and we both agree its chemistry there, but how do i know besides physically he's really into me? :confused:

:hmm: Im starting this off by saying im 18 and he's 36. were 18 years apart...im in love with him but i dont know if he feels the same way. ive known him only for 5 months but its real. we've already took it to that level and we both agree its chemistry there, but how do i know besides physically he's really into me? :confused:

Try giving him the sex at the beginning of the date, then ask him to go spend a few hours doing some activity that you are into, making it clear that there won't be any more sex later; if he doesn't bail out of the activity and honestly seems to enjoy just being with you, then you've probably got something real there.

The age difference does not make a man more superficial about couplings; your youth only adds to your attractiveness, it isn't the the totality of it.
Having myself been in such a relationship, with even more dramatic an age difference, I can tell you that compatibility besides the physical is just as important. The real problem you will face is that the two of you are at different points in your life, and you, being at the beginning of your adult life, still have changes in direction to go through, especially if you're just starting college. The real question may be if you like him enough on all levels to stay with him through those changes.

Whatever you do, don't stop getting an education due to this relationship.

You'll regret it.

Yes I think that sounds like a good idea or do the reverse do alot of activities first like shopping,dinner,movies etc not neccesarily in that order and preferably inexpensive activities that are a bit time consuming. Then by the end of the day or night he should believe that you guys will have sex.
However,simply and carefully steer the day or night out of that direction and see how he reacts.
Other signs to know if he's not into you-if most things he does can be traced back to an ulterior motive. There is no unselfish act yes but just look for the oblvious;it may hard to do but just open your eyes.
Oh and I second Boedicca's comment.

Well, there's always the nuclear option... withhold on sex and all sexual activity with him until you're sure.

^ best advice so far. :p

Yeah, I said it as a joke but I do mean it.

I respect you for that,Rice...

That 36 year old dude is my hero.

Oh honey your are way too young to be thinking about marriage. Go ahead and date him and enjoy yourself, but forget abour marriage until you are at least 25. There are so many things to do in life before you're married and have kids.

You certainly dont want to wake up one day when your in your late 30's or 40's and realize how much you've missed. I know 40 sounds old to you now, but I'm 41 and I'm having the time of my life and I'm sure you won't be ready to sit in a rocking chair and wait for grandbabies....I know I'm not!!

Why does this abstract idea of love stupify so many people.

"BUT THIS IS REAL" ...Yeah... it always is.

I'm sure this man loves you very much.
...and by love I mean, loves bragging to his friends about this tight piece of 18 y/o ass he's hitting, and by very much, I mean until he bangs your best friend in the back of his Buick Skylark.

:|

I'm sure this man loves you very much.
...and by love I mean, loves bragging to his friends about this tight piece of 18 y/o ass he's hitting, and by very much, I mean until he bangs your best friend in the back of his Buick Skylark.

:|

That's not fair at all. Sure, it could be true; but even if this guy was head over heels in love with her and respected her as such, he could still take pride among his friends that HE is attractive enough to get a girl half his age, all without discounting his pure feelings for her. And the same goes if he were the same age as her, too. Love, desire and respect can be blind to age differences.


************************************************** ********

Guy steps into a confessional. "Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. I'm 40 years old, and I've just had sex with two 18-year-olds."

"How long has it been since your last confession, my son?"

"Never have before....I'm not Catholic."

"Then why are you telling me?" the priest asked.

"Hell," the guy says, "I'm telling EVERYONE!"

thread is worthless without pics.

my brother and his gf were only maybe 4 years apart,but it was the difference of a college freshman and a graduating senior. BIG DEAL He was ready to lead a grown up life and be more settled down, and she hadnt even tried ANYTHING yet. I just saw her last night, but right before their one year anniversary last november, she broke up with him.

My uncle is almost 43 i beleive, and his wife is one day younger than me, so she just turned 25 this past fall. I happened to think that being 22 or 23 and going out with a 40 years old, is a HUGE jump in age. I can just see how he was ready to kids and she was only 23 and not ready for kids. She mentions how she wants to go out more, spend more time outside with the baby, and he just wants to relax in an unsharing sort of way.(tv/puter)

Anyways, I think a huge age gap can be a big, big deal in the long run. I would worry about being young and naive and then getting burned in the long run. *shrug* Then again, I like younger guys, my bf is 2 years younger than me.

Whatever you do, don't stop getting an education due to this relationship.

You'll regret it.
yeah this is true...

OK, I don't mean this as an offense to you or anything, but the first thing I think of when hearing about something like a guy who's 36, hooking up with a teenager, over the internet, is "What the hell is wrong with this guy?"

Sorry, if he not only can't find somebody who lives nearby, but can't even find somebody within a decade of his own age group, the dude has gotta have some serious issues, and you're just jumping right into 'em...

Oh honey your are way too young to be thinking about marriage. Go ahead and date him and enjoy yourself, but forget abour marriage until you are at least 25. ...

Not that I saw anything in the original post about marriage, but at 18 yeah, maybe she does have some kind of daydream scenario going.

Frankly, I'd tell her to wait untll well over 30 if she's entertaining any such thought.

I think the real issue is how much the couple has in common, and how they complement one another. Have they got shared interests?

I understand that Michael Douglas's wife said that one reason their relationship works on a professional level is that they are at different stages of their careers. He doesn't feel the need to compete with her. (Catherine Zeta-Jones.)

Also, if the girl has a desire for a guy to treat her somewhat like Daddy did , and lead and instruct and protect her, and be better off financially than she is, the older man may be what she wants, at least for a time. They can try it out for awhile and see where it seems to be leading.

Explorer

Too much difference . When he's having prostrate trouble in a couple years , you'll be frustrated . Plus high blood preaure or heart trouble from trying to keep up with you ,hehe ! !0 yeras is the max for older . And don't beleive everything you hear about waiting to marry . Marriage success depends on who you choose . Not what age . And missing out on sleeping with alot of men is not a negative thing . I doupt you'll be celebate for long . Too many risks dating now .

Edit won't work . 10 years is the max for age difference usually .

Man, people are sooooo different...

This girl actually sounds serious about it. Wow... When I was 18, I had a "lover", or call it an "adventure" with a 45 year old! And then at 20, I had another such adventure with a 40 year old. After that... hapenned once again with a 44 year old. But every time I knew.... I knew for sure... that it was nothing but a little weird trip I was taking, being an explorer and all...

Some people will learn their lessons in life the hard way, as opposed to others, who just simply know right up front...

When you're 18, you should not even ask the question: how do I know if he likes me... OF COURSE HE DOES! To him, you're a spring chicken, an unbelievably fresh piece of ass, a refreshing breeze that passed through his life... And it is in his interest, but his interest alone, to keep you in his life.

There are many reasons why it is not in your best interest. Take an honest advice from a girl whose parents are 22 years apart...:) Heart attacks, erectile problems etc. To invest in someone who COULD die 20 years before you do.... Is plain illogical. There's so much fish in the sea. As for "looooove".... no one remains an idealist for too long. You'll see.

Finally, it's great to be 18! Man I wish I could go back to that age... The world is yours, and you can do pretty much whatever you want... Because it feels like you've got all the time (and youth) in the world...:):):) I say: Have fun girl!:nice:

In reply to your situation it can either be wonderful or pure hell! 8 years ago I met the perfect man.... he was 16 years older than me. We hit it off at once. Things progressed between us, and I truly fell in love. We have a son together that is 7. He and his new wife have a 1 year old....:( I found love the day I found him and have never experienced such since. An older man can make you feel on top of the world but you have to ask yourself if you can pick yourself up from under the world when he is gone????? I would rather be an older mans darling than a young mans bi*ch any day but I will never love again the way I did with him....

Things must not have been that perfect if you're not still married to him. :hmm:

no the problem was out of my hands completely, the ending was not a good thing but the time before was. It just serves as a warning, you may give him the best years of your life, but be prepared to start over again, they like to keep the young ones and unfortunatly we all age....

no the problem was out of my hands completely, the ending was not a good thing but the time before was. It just serves as a warning, you may give him the best years of your life, but be prepared to start over again, they like to keep the young ones and unfortunatly we all age....

We have the option going younger... my ex-husband is almost 40, my BF is 29. :nice:

completely true Myst.... I am still at a point though that any younger are too immature! I am certain in time though it will be a good idea, a younger model...LOL

He's totally robbing the cradle. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. In fact, he should be up for some sort of an award. But, my advice would be to not get pregnant. Other than that, I feel that it's pretty outlandish and strange to hear of an 18 year old dating a 36 year old. Can't he find a woman? He's dating a girl.

blake is 7 years older than me and we get along just fine.. i think its cause both of us are the same age mentally :) but i tend to like guys that are older than me as well.

and honey if you need to ask yourself if he just keeps you around for the sex... its probably cause its true.

:hmm: Im starting this off by saying im 18 and he's 36. were 18 years apart...im in love with him but i dont know if he feels the same way. ive known him only for 5 months but its real. we've already took it to that level and we both agree its chemistry there, but how do i know besides physically he's really into me? :confused:

A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz.

I like that phrase Bogey.

This is an interesting situation to me. I've always been with older guys,due to them being more mature. So are there any updates on this relationship, are things working out? Personally I'd advise you to stay with him if he treats you good. Alot of young guys are players and they'll be off looking for something else whenever they feel like it. Of course the downside is many older guys have kids from a previous marriage and that is built-in conflicts there.

Hi all im in a similiar position as the original poster so I decided I would just post my situation in this thread instead of starting another.
I am 18 years old and I have been seeing a guy that is 31 years old.
He treats me well, we have not taken it to that level yet, but he calls and texts me almost everyday and when we see each other he is a total gentleman.
My concerns are:

a. Certainly he should be interested in a woman if he doesn't already have one and he ideally should be going out with a 28 year old for example someone 10 years older than me.

b. I was out with him until late one night and he got a phone call I was unable to determine whether the caller was a male or female. The caller asked him his whereabouts and when would he be somewhere. I dont know if the caller asked him when he was coming home but the person asked a question such that he responded "Im coming soon okay" This caller called twice that night.

c. We were out again lateish around 8pm I had to leave early so I asked him if he was going home, he was a little hesitant and said a friend of his had tickets to a play and his response was "Cant let free tickets go to waste you know..smile" From the manner in which he responsed I concluded that he was going out with a female. I didn't call him or text him after that night but about three days later he sent me an sms enquiring "If I was mad at him" I responded asking him "Why would I be mad at you"

4. He has an 11 year old child from a previous relationship.

Aside from my concerns I really like him, he has a great sense of humour, is caring, is ambitious, has a good job etc.

However, his seemingly nice personality may just be an act to get me in him bed. I certainly would not want him bragging to his friends that he has bedded a 18 year old and I would be some sort of conquest.

Your thoughts, advice and suggestions would be welcome :)

I was out with him until late one night and he got a phone call I was unable to determine whether the caller was a male or female. The caller asked him his whereabouts and when would he be somewhere. I dont know if the caller asked him when he was coming home but the person asked a question such that he responded "Im coming soon okay" This caller called twice that night.
i would call him on it or stop seeing him after this. ive had similar expericences and it always was exactly what it looks like...
plus his child is not that far from you in age.. that makes things weird. plus if theres a child theres probably a wife.. or ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.. whatever it is it wont be fun, if you ask me.

Thanks for your reply Blair :)
As you guessed I have no idea if he was/is married I just know that his son lives with the woman who had his child.
I agree his son being close to my age is weird I know a lot of couples that are seven years apart.
I have not returned any of his calls i.e. I have not accepted his calls and have not heard from him in around 7 days and he just called me about a minute ago and put me on the spot asking why is it that his calls have not been returned.
Another thing I really dont like is that our age difference shows he looks like 31 however I look more like 16.
I am going to take your advice and ask him who called him that night and if he is involved with someone.
*sigh* I like him but there are seemingly so many issues.
Thanks again for the reply.