How do you handle money in your relationship? I'm curious because I know a lot of people that keep their money seperate, even after living together and/or getting married. This seems really weird to me and I don't see how it can work.

My husband and I combined our accounts immediately when we moved in together, which was 3 years before we got married. We never fight about money. Among friends and family, it seems that the couples who keep seperate money are the ones that fight about it most - who pays for what, etc.

The only reason this came up is because my husband got an unexpected Christmas bonus, and he wanted to use it to buy me presents without telling me he had the money, so he didn't want it to show up in the bank account (I work for the bank so I see everything). He didn't know he could cash it at the bank without it showing up in the account. So it spoiled his plans for Christmas, which really disappointed him a lot more than it did me. This is the only use for seperate accounts that I can imagine a co-habitating couple having.

My father's an accountant, and he and my mother have a joint account as well as separate accounts. It keeps things cleaner, since they both run their own businesses, and makes it easier to keep records and books, etc.

We combine everything into a joint account and that works well for us. My paychecks get direct deposited there. It never even crossed my mind to keep our money separate when we got married. It's just so easy keeping everything in one place. My wife is a CPA and handles all our finances. That is perfectly fine with me. As long as the ATM spits out money when I go to one, it's all good.

I do access our accounts online every so often just to see what the money sitution is like.

I did recently open my own savings account that I have part of each paycheck going to, but it was my wife's idea and it's just for the purpose of setting money aside.

Separate account and every end of the month I transfer a flat amount to him to handle my share of the bills and mortgage.

Works out fine.

Separate account and every end of the month I transfer a flat amount to him to handle my share of the bills and mortgage.

Works out fine.

What would happen if you lost your job or something and needed him to support you for a few months? Would you then owe him that money and have to pay him back?

What would happen if you lost your job or something and needed him to support you for a few months? Would you then owe him that money and have to pay him back?

It's called savings. We each keep savings in case either loses our job.

That's great if you have the luxury of not living paycheck-to-paycheck. Some people don't have enough to save. It seems like a couple should support each other in times of need, not have to always take care of themselves. That is what marriage means to me, sharing everything, taking care of eachother. There is no such thing as his or mine, everything became ours, equally, when we decided to live together.

There is no such thing as his or mine, everything became ours, equally, when we decided to live together.

I disagree.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is also hers.

:p

Well, we aren't living paycheck to paycheck and in emergency of course we would support each other. In general, our arrangement is the best for us. "Sharing everything" sounds cute and all, but it isn't cute when there's some argument when someone thinks the other is spending more than their fair share of what they put in.

For us, anything besides necessities is discussed first. It works very well for us, money has never been something we fight about for the 5 years we've been doing things this way.

I'm trying to get a handle on why they say money is the biggest thing couples fight about it and based on my own experience I just can't grasp it.

we have a joint savings specifically set up to save for our move to AZ next August, our checking accounts are separate, he handles the rent and bills so I give him my half of the rent and a flat amount for the bills, sometimes I give him less for the bills if my paycheck is smaller, sometimes I give him more and any extra goes into our savings account. We share all the little things like groceries, stuff for the apartment, etc. It works out well.

I guess I would classify my household as a socialist establishment - no matter how much or little each person puts in, they all get the same amount back.