So my friend was sexually assaulted Saturday night. It's Tuesday night now, and we're going to a friend's birthday party. She's gonna come over early and I'm gonna be her moral support as she reports it. It was her ex-boyfriend from about a year and a half ago. He got all jealous because of me. I'm just her friend, but he thinks we're in a relationship. The party is gonna be at a club and then go back to the birthday girl's room. He lives across the hall, and apparently wants to beat me up. Well, if he wants to start ****, he can. I want to beat the **** out of him, but I'd rather see him in handcuffs than both of us in them. Or maybe we'll say we were watching fight club and he beat the **** out of himself like in that scene in the middle of the movie where Norton's character beat's the **** out of himself in his boss's office. Hopefully they won't ask too many questions about the strange fist-like bruises that will eventually appear on the areas of his back where he can't reach himself. In all seriousness, though, I'll probably just escort my friend to a different room in the hall and call the cops on him. The important thing is her safety.

Great plan, Chris. :nice:

I'm very sorry about your friend, though.

Thanks.
I go into the precinct to file my deposition today.

Like my mom would have said, "Hals- und Beinbruch!" :D

Haha. Hopefully she'll take this to court. I have no problem seeing this dude have to spend a year in prison.