While attempting to reconcile my tendency to be immature in public with the real, mature me that comes out when I am in private, I have been quite successful, except around the one person who is actually the motivating factor. Kinda annoying that I am actually more immature around her. She's the opposite of me. Mature in public, immature in private. She's nice like me, but I don't expect her to be. For some reason, I expect her to be a coldhearted, unfeeling bitch at best. Nice is not a word I want to associate with her.
It's funny, I'm being impatient, and I know it. I want her to trust me, but I have to talk to her to prove it. She has the same problem as me. She doesn't feel that she knows how to talk to me. She doesn't think she could ever know me. That's the exact same way I feel about her. There's so much about her that has inspired me to change, to better myself, but I don't think she'll ever see it because I'm too scared to show her. I see so many things in her that I see in myself. There are so many things about her that I want to adopt for myself. I want to get to know her, but that means I'm going to have to trust her. At the same time, I know that she talks about everyone behind their back. So do I, and that's why it's okay, to a degree. I want to know what she says about me.

I should really talk now that I have found my words.