Me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time. We've went through some ruff patches lately but i feel the worst is over. Like we're actualy happy agian. Now it just the thing, hes more protective of me. His(our) friends alway had an on going joke that they want to get with me. They were only joking( honestly theyd take anything) but it was still just meant as a joke, its been going on for a few years. Well my bf finily cracked and went off on me about it(he said i keep feeding their fantisies). so i had to have a talk with they guys to cut it out with the jokes. They agreed. now the thing is i talk to them about intimate thing, not ment to feed into anything just talking. Should i stop that too? Im affriad im going to upset my bf if, he finds out that im talking to them about such things. I feel i have a right to talk to my friends about it though, becuase nothings ment by it. I dont know what do you think?

Sounds like your bf has some security issues, and if he upsets about little things like this, then he probably isn't the best person to date honestly. You should be able to talk to your friends about anything. So long as no cheating is involved, there shouldn't be censorship placed on what you can and can't say because of him. He needs to grow up, get over the insecurity, or move on. When an issue is important change is ok. WHen its something like this, which boils down to jealousy, dont change who you are. A good boyfriend will love ya for who you are, including the relationships ya have with others, including friends, and not be anal about these issues.

True, that's ideal what shelter says.

Personally, I much prefer to have a relationship where my gf can be good friends with all of my guy friends and gets along well with them, it just makes everything simpler. But from what it sounds like to me, you're getting very close to his friends, and as a guy, you need that sanctuary. You need to be able to turn to your boys and bitch about your gf every now and then, and always be sure that your boys will take your side in the matter. I really don't think its cool that you reveal too much of your relationship and intimate details to his friends, I honestly would think that that's very odd behavior. I mean, I would never co-opt my gf's friends like that.

And every man has a breaking point when it comes to jealousy.

Please note im not saying things about what me and my boyfriend do kind of intamate things, just in genral.They are just induendoes.That and there just not his friends there mine too. Its just hard to believe that he would say something about it now, 3years later of a running joke. Ill admitt that i did have an attraction towards one of our friend, pastence(i told my bf i did). Like if he did find out that we were talking about stuff like that, i know like we wouldnt breakup or anything just it would be an argument waiting to happen. should i just come out and tell him. At the same time i dont think our friends would be comfortable with him knowing. becuase he'll ask details, and they told me private things that i dont think they wanted anyone to everknow. If i hold back info my bf will know and push why im not telling him.i dont know advice please>.<


*sorry for my spelling, my english teacher is crying in shame somewhere right now.*

dude, stop talking about intimate stuff with his male friends

that's ****ed up, honestly that's how I feel. I don't care if they're your friends too, not if he knew them first. If they were his friends before you 2 became an item, or if he met them first, back off. I'd be pissed as **** if my gf talked about intimate things regularly with my guy friends. I mean, that's cool and all that his friends feel comfortable around you, but no, that's not cool. Yeah, you could argue that he should be more trusting and less jealous, but you said that this has been going on for 3 years, so I don't really know how you can say he's being jealous. Maybe he's just sick of it, or he knows more than you think he does, or some other reasons. Respect your man's friendships with his boys, he obviously is feeling strain because he feels like he's losing his friends to you.

There's a line you do not cross when it comes to your boyfriend's friends. You simply don't get very friendly with them. If you are talking details with his friends that he'd get ticked about you either
a) have an over jealous boyfriend...which may lead to control & abuse issues
or
b) you have breached the boundary of 'my buddy's girl' - These guys are his friends & confidantes....not yours, and you have overstepped that...

If he was telling your closest friends the things your are telling his friends, would you be mad? Use that as a guideline.
He should be able to leave you in the care of his friends & know deep in his heart that they will guard you like mad wolves from predators...and that there would never ever be any hanky-panky going on.
And if they are telling you things about him that are deeply personal...without his knowledge....there's a definate boundry they are crossing, that should not be crossed. They should not be getting involved in you & your boyfriends relationship or its problems...unless he is being abusive & they are kicking his ass.

you know, me and my close friends were talking about it one day a while back

you know a guy's your true friend if, for some reason you were away and your wife needed a place to stay the night, you'd tell her to go to your friends place and not worry for a second about any hanky panky going on

that's hard to do, man, because all guys know how piggish we really are, and to be able to trust another man that much is a big thing, I don't think many guys have that

But if she's worthy she'd remove her man's friend's spleen with her bare hands if the dude was low enough to hit on his friends woman.

its beyond just that, the way she's describing it

I mean, she said that this has been the status quo for 3 years, so there's obviously something more that she's not saying, or that she doesn't know. And I really do think that the issue is not so much one of trust, but that her man feels like he's losing his friends to her, and that's even worse. I mean, I think that'd be a terrible feeling.

There both of our friends. I knew them years before he did, but he formed a closer bond with them first. Right now they are my closest friends. They dont tell me stuff about my bf and i dont tell stuff about him to them either.( if they/I wanted to know something about my bf we'd just have to ask him, thats how things work in the group.) I think it just gets to my bf that they joke bad sometimes. i had a really long talk with them about it to. i know its all jokes and not to be taken litteraly.(even though sometime i get ticked off too sometime by it.) but Ive been giving them advice on "how to get the ladies and ah, men(which im the only one who knows about)". Things like that kinda intimate talk. I dont think im doing anything wrong, my bf just takes things the wrongway sometime. I dont want him to get a wrong impression.

They were your friends first? Were you ever involved with either of them before you met your boyfriend?

My bad, he's just tripping then. Most of what I said earlier does not apply.

Yes i was friends with them frist(i dont see why that matters though) No i wasnt involved with either of them, i did have a crush on one of them( it was one of thoses things you just see each other so much, that feeling get mistaken for what they really are). I told my bf that before we started even going out. I dont feel that way anymore though( i mean i have thought about it, but im human i cant control what i dream). I did find something out though one of our friends though. The one might actualy like me, witch i didnt know, i still dont know. I think thats why my bf upset. I didnt do anything and im not going to.