Post #7

To Whom it May Concern:
Thank you for your interest in POST version 7.0
We regret to inform you that this version has been recalled for various dangerous and highly infectious errors in the programming of this product. The installation or use of Post v7.0 has been outlawed in 37 states and most of Europe. It has been known to force a Macintosh computer to run Windows XP, made Unix-based servers send out for Chinese food, and causes one in eight people that installed it on laptops to develop a fatal case of diarrhea. The product was found to negatively affect the earth’s natural EM field, and several GPS satellites went off track, sending thousands of drivers with OnStar to a place outside Dubuque where a small ranch has a sideshow involving a Two-Headed rabbit. IT also interrupted a number of primetime television shows on other networks and caused them to rebroadcast (without the explicit permission of Major League Baseball) PBS money-drive marathons from the 1970’s. Some nearby stereo equipment has been known to suddenly play Stars and Stripes forever so loudly that anyone within 150 feet of the speakers goes instantly sterile.
Please do not use Post v7.0 and wait until Post version 8.0 has been released. IF you have already used it and have experienced problems, please refer your complaints and legal inquiries to Ted Turner.
Sincerely,
Your Friends at Post-O-Matic