I have decided to become a fungus.

There's no use talking me out of it, so don't even sprint.

Please refrain from any ambient temperature changes until further notice.

Remember, we have your best interest in our sock drawer, under the handkercheifs.

Thank you.







(Hey, eveyone else got to post some nonsense. I wanted a go at it. Besides, my secret contacts in the CIA and INTERPOL will understand the message!)

Originally posted by TheFrog
(Hey, eveyone else got to post some nonsense. I wanted a go at it. Besides, my secret contacts in the CIA and INTERPOL will understand the message!)
Hey! You know those guys, too. Just in case they are reading this.

The purple dog speaks latin to the man with no toes. Drink mead until your bushes are afire.

I'm sure you agree, Frog.

Uh oh.... you need to re-check your codebook.

You just said that Luxembourg is going to invade Canada using S.W.A.T.-trained poodles.

Yep...that was it. I just checked and Canada is now at DefCon 1.





My hovercraft is still full of eels.

I'm sorry, I'm a bit rusty after all of the MK ULTRA experiments. I meant to say that Luxembourg is going to invade Canada using labradors trained in the original Bodi Darma kung-fu.

Thanks for the heads up.



As far as your hovercraft:

Leap not into the eel-infested baked alaska. Bobby Darin is not my father. I repeat: Bobby Darin is not my father.

Originally posted by TheFrog
Uh oh.... you need to re-check your codebook.

You just said that Luxembourg is going to invade Canada using S.W.A.T.-trained poodles.

Yep...that was it. I just checked and Canada is now at DefCon 1.





My hovercraft is still full of eels.

Crap, my official FM decoder ring had the following translation:

Peter pan is planning to attack the giant robot rabbit using the anti-proton diffraction blaster at oh 8 thirty.

Originally posted by 92Notch
Crap, my official FM decoder ring had the following translation:

Peter pan is planning to attack the giant robot rabbit using the anti-proton diffraction blaster at oh 8 thirty.
That's because you're reading it upside down, again.

Originally posted by Redfield

That's because you're reading it upside down, again.

:rolleyes:

I told them they should mark which end is up...


You know what I could use right now? A really good debate on if there is a quantum difference between Neutrons and their theoretical antimatter counterpart Anti-Neutrons. I don't think there is.

You know, they should write the manual for this stuff in English.... my hieroglyphics is rusty … you’d think they’d update this stuff a little more often.

Originally posted by TheFrog


A really good debate on if there is a quantum difference between Neutrons and their theoretical antimatter counterpart Anti-Neutrons. I don't think there is.

I'd have to agree, the anti-neutron is nothing more that a rouge neutron. A highly trained NPAF operative that has gone wild and turned against those who made him powerful

That's the problem. The newest manual is no longer in hyroglyph. It's in pre Naqqadan-war character writing with a sanskrit facilitator.

Frog: I don't think there is a debate on that, yet.

Pennyworth mittens fly in my face when the crow won't make bacon.



Redfield-

I don't think there should be such a listing as an Anti-Neutron but there is. If the charge is what makes the difference, then neutrons by definition shouldn't be seen either way. In matter, the orbiting electron has a negative charge and the stationary proton has a positive charge. In Antimatter, the Orbiting Positron has a positive charge and the stationary Anti-Proton has a negative charge.

Unless there's more to it than that...something on the smaller scale, like muons and quarks...

The imp will talk the elf into baking the 14 layer cake thirteen Tuesdays from now.

MORONS!!! Everyone knows not to use that code on an open forum!!! That's it!!! The grand poo-bah has ordered me to revoke your shenkel clearances and retrieve your decoder rings. you'll be hearing a knock at the dorr in three...two...one...

I just turned my ring in and got a new one that bears a stiking similarity to W.C. Fields' profile.

Frog-
Question: Since there are such things as anti-electrons and anti-protons, is there such a thing as an anti-neutron?

Answer: Yes. According to the standard model, every fundamental particle, has a corresponding antiparticle. for example, the antiparticle of the electron is the positron (short for "positive electron"). However, protons and neutrons are not themselves fundamental particles; they are composed of smaller particles called quarks. A proton contains two up quarks and one down quark (uud), and a neutron contains one up and two down quarks (udd). the up quark has a charge of +2/3 and the down quark has a charge of -1/3. If you add up the charges in the proton and neutron, you will find they are the observed values. Therefore the anti-proton has two anti-up quarks and one anti-down quark (each of which having the same charge with opposite sign) giving it a total charge of -1. The antineutron contains one anti-up quark and two ant-down quarks, giving it a charge of 0, just like the regular neutron.

http://www.physlink.com (http://www.physlink.com/Education/AskExperts/ae117.cfm)

Ah ha!

So there is more to it than the charge. Then I wonder if there is such a thing as anti-magnetism. Not as in repelling rather than attracting (though I suppose that might be a possibility) but rather the antimatter equivalent of a magnetic field.


Jwreck:

FOOL! I AM the Grand Poobah! I am also the Walrus King and the guy responsible for painting all those little white M's on the candy!

Twas Brillig and the Slithy Toves did Gyre and Gimble in the Wabe.
All Mimsy were the Borogroves, and the Mom Raths Outgrabe.

I believe that there may very well be an anti-magnetic field. A field less dependent on polarity and more dependent on the opposite form of matter. A field existing whose nature is that to repel, or expel, regularly existing matter and attract "anti-matter". Such an idea is not without merit. For example, if we assume that magnetism is simply a force based on a medium made up of variable fluxes (as in the Aharonov-Bohm problem), and instead of a variable fluxes of matter we use anti-matter. If this is assumed true, doesn't it make sense that there would be a force manifested in the form of anti-magnetism?

If we are to hold the basic laws of physics as true, then anti-magnetism would be the "opposite and equal" reaction to magnetism. What I find facinating is the possibility that any of the main forces in nature would possess these "anti-forces".

Can you believe the possiblities this would open up in our world? One sci-fi concept is using this repelling force as a sheild to prevent damage to a person. Imagine a soldier who uses an anti-magnetism field to repel bullets away from his body.

Neato!:D




BTW, the man who talks to dolphins, speaks truth to his mother.

Originally posted by Redfield

Can you believe the possiblities this would open up in our world? One sci-fi concept is using this repelling force as a sheild to prevent damage to a person. Imagine a soldier who uses an anti-magnetism field to repel bullets away from his body.



And if bullets had any iron in them that may work. :) (they are lead and copper)

Oops! 92Notch isn't up on his magnetic practical application, is he?

92- the force of magnetism works on everything. Everything .

Ferrous metals are the first and easiest. That’s why Iron and subsequently Steel are always used as reactive to the weak, normal magnets we use day-to-day. But any metal at all is pretty easily manipulated when you up the force of the field. Don’t think so? How does the metal detector in the airport know you had a pocket full of change, which is composed of nickel, copper, zinc, and silver. Just a couple of pennies will set it off, and that’s 98% zinc and 2% copper.

The more you increase the magnetic field’s power, the more different materials become susceptible to having themselves polarized. They have recorded and broadcast experiments where a rubber eraser, a paper cup, and other non-metals were suspended my a horrendously powerful magnetic field.

To sum up: in day-to-day use, magnets work on Iron-based stuff. In seriously, freaky strong applications of magnetism, they can pull your pet poodle off the couch even if she’s never had a collar. So, all those comics where Magneto repelled bullets were technically okay.


Don’t forget- When Chipmunks collide, there is always a bill sent to the carpet cleaner.

Originally posted by TheFrog
The more you increase the magnetic field’s power, the more different materials become susceptible to having themselves polarized. They have recorded and broadcast experiments where a rubber eraser, a paper cup, and other non-metals were suspended my a horrendously powerful magnetic field.
Very true, Frog. An object does not need to be ferrous to be suseptible(sp?) to magnetism. Even living organisms can "levitate" when exposed to intense magnetic fields.

Although the majority of ordinary materials, such as wood or plastic, are relatively non-magnetic, they, too, expel a very small portion of an applied magnetic field (0.00001), and thus exhibit very weak magnetic properties.

There have been experiments conducted on living organisms with strong magnetic fields. So strong, they'd make an MRI look like a refrigerator magnet. They even got a frog to suspend using the frog's magnetic field and that of a "super magnet" using only 10 Tesla.
http://www.sci.kun.nl/hfml/Mlimages/frog-s.jpg
This frog is suspended in a bored tunnel of a "super-magnet".

Don’t forget- When Chipmunks collide, there is always a bill sent to the carpet cleaner.
Stars peak to tell cows they are present.

Originally posted by Redfield


http://www.sci.kun.nl/hfml/Mlimages/frog-s.jpg
This frog is suspended in a bored tunnel of a "super-magnet".





Dude! That's my cousin Andy! He volunteered for some science research and later that week he came home unable to remember his name or (fortunately for me) the $450 I owed him.

You mentioned the unit Tesla. Now there was one freaky dude. Had a clear head for many things. Rightly argued against Edison about whether AC or DC should be used in normalized power grids in the US. Edison wanted DC.



Pan-Fried Panda is not illegal in Swiss Coffee shops, but it's still hard to find.

Tesla was awesome (I don't mean the 80's band)! He was like a prophet when it came to the construction of the power planet at Niagra Falls.




Wombat Rictus and Fresh Carnitas are privvy to an orange's sarcasm.

...but not if the Orange has abandoned all pretense of being Burbank.



You know, there's a whole cabal of people out there that believes the incident in the early part of the 20th century up in Siberia was not in fact an asteroid strike, but in fact a power-plasma transmission from one of Tesla's creations that overloaded and went amiss- riding the northern magnetic streams to finally hit there.

Originally posted by TheFrog
[B
You know, there's a whole cabal of people out there that believes the incident in the early part of the 20th century up in Siberia was not in fact an asteroid strike, but in fact a power-plasma transmission from one of Tesla's creations that overloaded and went amiss- riding the northern magnetic streams to finally hit there. [/B]

They're all wrong, it was Bigfoot.

No it wasn't.

He's already accounted for his whereabouts at teh date/time in question.


Hey, 92- on page 177 of the new code book manual, I'm seeing this:

§¥ªµœ‡¤§ †¤¥§¤€ø¨ ¦£§¥ª¤°


But I thought that was outlawed at the Geneva convention.
Does your code-break read that the same as mine does?

Originally posted by TheFrog
You know, there's a whole cabal of people out there that believes the incident in the early part of the 20th century up in Siberia was not in fact an asteroid strike, but in fact a power-plasma transmission from one of Tesla's creations that overloaded and went amiss- riding the northern magnetic streams to finally hit there.
A conspiracy buddy of mine gave me some info on that. It says that Tesla was working on a rough form of a particle accelerator (or in some other circles a revolutionary wireless trasmission device) and due to the inadequacies of its containment, and lack of testing, he had a "death ray" on his hands. (From this point on, history can prove this) It goes on to say that the ray, on a weak setting, was to contact Robert Peary, who was exploring the arctic at the time. The mutually agreed date was the evening of June 30. When there was no contact by Peary, Tesla announced that the machine was a failure and fully dismantled it. (Up to this point, all of this is accurate.) Also on June 30 the Tunguska incident took place.

Some believe that Tesla overshot his target. Tesla never commented on it, and later died with that secret.

I, personally, haven't done much reading on it, but now my curiousity is peaked.

Here are some pics:
http://www.frank.germano.com/images/Wyclf.gif
The machine.

http://www.frank.germano.com/images/1testpth.gif
The transmitter's test path and possible overshoot.



No one can wave at the blind man's giraffe.

I'd call wiping out hundreds of square miles of forest thousands of miles away quite an 'oopsie'




The scream of the mime is music to the ears of the Regent.

Originally posted by TheFrog
No it wasn't.

He's already accounted for his whereabouts at teh date/time in question.


Hey, 92- on page 177 of the new code book manual, I'm seeing this:

§¥ªµœ‡¤§ †¤¥§¤€ø¨ ¦£§¥ª¤°


But I thought that was outlawed at the Geneva convention.
Does your code-break read that the same as mine does?

No, you must have the updated code book manual or perhaps a newer decoder ring. After running it trough my decoder ring I get "♪╞←Ü░»«╣║╜╛┐╙○₧♥♣•↕ ñ▓┤δ∞φε∩≡±≥÷" Page 177 in my manual has a naked picture of Hillary Clinton .... She’s doing something really weird with a panda bear. I have to be careful not to hurt myself with that alt feature of the decoder ring ... the simultaneous operation of the secret buttons can be dangerous in the wrong sequence.

Originally posted by 92Notch
After running it trough my decoder ring I get "♪╞←Ü░»«╣║╜╛┐╙○₧♥♣•↕ ñ▓┤δ∞φε∩≡±≥÷" Page 177 in my manual has a naked picture of Hillary Clinton .... She’s doing something really weird with a panda bear. I have to be careful not to hurt myself with that alt feature of the decoder ring ... the simultaneous operation of the secret buttons can be dangerous in the wrong sequence.

Man, you guys are way off. Are you sure we're reading the same manuals. On page 177, I have a photo of Jerry Lewis slapping Elvis with a wheel of gouda cheese.

jigga WHAT?

Exactly.

Ha, ha! Mr.Wr0ng forgot his decoder.

Since he cannot decipher it, we can call him a ¥ªµœ‡¤§-headed ∞φε and he'll never get it!


Muhahahaha!


Ahem.


Yes.


Now, then.


Where were we?


Ah, yes. Page 177. I've corrected for the previous error. I now see a picture of Hillary Rodham (formerly Clinton) slapping Jerry Lewis with a large fish. They're in front of the Eiffel Tower and Jerry has a Mullet haircut for some reason, and he appears to be kicking a circus midget.

The caption at the bottom says 'Tectonic Plate Stress? Yes, please!'

Originally posted by TheFrog

I now see a picture of Hillary Rodham (formerly Clinton) slapping Jerry Lewis with a large fish. They're in front of the Eiffel Tower and Jerry has a Mullet haircut for some reason, and he appears to be kicking a circus midget.



My friend says he sees that image in his mind every time he's about to do something bad, he immediately pukes and forgets what he was doing.

Brilliant! That means our subliminal messages we've been secretly placing in TV commercials are working! The public has no idea when they are following our instructions. That's right...buy the oxy-kleen. Go on, you need another Waffle-Iron grill. You know you want more of those little mini paint rollers....


One day, when we issue the final message, the people of Luxemborg will rise up and dominate the Western Hemisphere, and then- THE WORLD!!!!!


No one listens to he plaintive shoe, no matter why the rains fall.

Originally posted by TheFrog
Brilliant! That means our subliminal messages we've been secretly placing in TV commercials are working! The public has no idea when they are following our instructions. That's right...buy the oxy-kleen. Go on, you need another Waffle-Iron grill. You know you want more of those little mini paint rollers....


One day, when we issue the final message, the people of Luxemborg will rise up and dominate the Western Hemisphere, and then- THE WORLD!!!!!


No one listens to he plaintive shoe, no matter why the rains fall.

I'm thinking it may be a coincidence though ... this same guy is very particular about having purple shoe polish on his dog-food before eating it.

Originally posted by 92Notch
I'm thinking it may be a coincidence though ... this same guy is very particular about having purple shoe polish on his dog-food before eating it.
That's a weird coincidence, because I do the same to ho-ho's, except I use the dog-food as a patee.

Maybe, the aluminum foil on my head is not protecting my brain from the satellite beam's control ray, anymore.

Originally posted by Redfield

That's a weird coincidence, because I do the same to ho-ho's, except I use the dog-food as a patee.


Hey, that sounds kinda good!


Dman, you got aluminum foil? ..... I was issued a wet napkin to put over my head.

The ho-ho with doggie patee is excellent when left to warm in the sun for about 15 minutes.

The foil was given to me when I graduated to upper-peeon.

Billy Mayes is my lackey. He sells crap because I tell him to. It's a vehicles for my mass-hypnosis subliminal program.




If you work really hard, you'll get a lead-lined bowler cap like I wear. Then even the INTERPOL satellites cannot read your thoughts.




Scream, mime. Scream for me. You know where the bagel is and your rebel friends are not here.

I tried the lead cap, but it gave me lead-cap hair. :(









Tickle Tiny Tim through taffeta tinsle typewriters. Do you know where he is?

Originally posted by Redfield
I tried the lead cap, but it gave me lead-cap hair. :(









Tickle Tiny Tim through taffeta tinsle typewriters. Do you know where he is?

The last coded message I got indicated he was somewhere north of the South Pole. I think the jokers dispatching the intelligence have been wearing their lead caps a bit too long.

The last message I have not be able to decode:

Two timing sally was last seen holding paul’s peter outside the little blue dumping station

No, actually that was uncoded.

Jenny in Dispatch is ticked off at Sally and is posting scandalous personal info in hopes to get back at her.






The panda can tap, but he cannot soft-shoe without a spanner.

Originally posted by TheFrog
No, actually that was uncoded.

Jenny in Dispatch is ticked off at Sally and is posting scandalous personal info in hopes to get back at her.






The panda can tap, but he cannot soft-shoe without a spanner.

poor panda.

The pirates know Kung-Fu but have yet to grease a monkey.

The Harlequin’s Kun-Fu is strong, but his Zen could use some tofu.

Eyes have no taste to mortals with scooters.





Remember, decode, and destroy.




Code word: Butterfly, Mockingbird, Tweek-Tweek-Tweek!

I've looked all over the web, and I can't find any mail-order penguins. I want to raise a flock of penquins in my back yard.
Is this too much to ask?






This morning's coded message:

Good morning! Please pass the rotary engine and tartar sauce.

Originally posted by TheFrog
I've looked all over the web, and I can't find any mail-order penguins. I want to raise a flock of penquins in my back yard.
Is this too much to ask?
http://www.adelie.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Collectibles/mail_order.htm
This morning's coded message:

Good morning! Please pass the rotary engine and tartar sauce.
My fish look for maple-bars and titanium.

LOL! Neat penguin site.

But I want real ones!!!! I wnat them to waddle around the yard and make that 'wack! wauck wack!' sound they do and then scare all the dogs in the neighborhood.


Never give a dog a banjo unless you know he doen't speak Mandarin.

My mother-in-law has ducks in her backyard. She loves them, but they keep getting into the flower beds. I wonder if penguins would do the same.














Today's first coded message:

Boston creme pies don't cry during a Siberian winter.

...but they do during a Tibetan Summer.

I'll have to update my book again.

Sending out an all-points-walrus.



All agents are requested to rotate the monkey felt and re-seat the exposition modifiers with as much tofu as possible.




Do the Mushu!

REPEATING REQUEST:

All agents are requested to rotate the monkey felt and re-seat the exposition modifiers with as much tofu as possible.



C'mon. We're not doing this right. The DOW is up 300 but if we got coordinated it'd be up 1400+ or more today. Get with it!!!

Originally posted by TheFrog
REPEATING REQUEST:

All agents are requested to rotate the monkey felt and re-seat the exposition modifiers with as much tofu as possible.

I did. I thought you got my sky-written message; " Party hats are welcome when refried beans are in my trousers. "

Lima Beans!!!!! Not refried beans, Lima Beans!!
Refried goes in the sock drawer!


Great Scott, it'a a wonder the tech markets didn't belly-dive today.

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The major is aware of the genie's dissappearance.

The Squirrel Action figure has slipped the surly bonds of Mars to touch the interstate overpass.



You seemed to have exceeded your bump alottment for the week. You must serve your pennance now.

Originally posted by Redfield
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The major is aware of the genie's dissappearance.

JESUS RED, YOU MUST BE BORED!!!!

Bump