Lisa sat with her friends at the table while I played 8-ball with a few of my friends. The beer was cold the vibe was kickin' and we were all feeling good. Then, (lets call him "Chuck"..... rhymes with ****) walks in and the vibe instantly changes from kickin' to kick your ***. Chuck was your typical "I'm a complete bad ***, stay the **** out of my way or I'll kick your head in so far your children will feel it." kinda guy.
We try to ignore him, but just as a fly can eventually drive you to swat at it, so was Chuck.
"Whoops!" he mocks, as he knocks my beer from the pool table. "Sorry about that, short stuff. It aint to far of a reach for ya to drink it of tha floor anyways. Haw Haw haw."
I can feel my blood pressure hit the roof. My pulse is racing and I feel my grip on th pool cue tightening. "Ohh ****." hisses one of my buddies. But I recompose, but mutter under my breath, "What an *******."
The flash of light was accompanied by a sharp pain across my right eybrow. "You're a little smart ***, are'nt you?"
I feel sweat pouring down my face.
"Holy ****! he's bleeding bad."
I suddenly realize it ain't sweat.
"Alright guys, lets break it up." says the bartender.
"Sure, sure" says Chuck "I'm done." he loosens his grip on my shirt.
"Not as far is I'm concerned *******." I think to myself reaching for my pool cue.
Another flash of light, brighter. Chuck has me pinned up against the wall. "Soooooo short stuff think you can take on the Punisher?"
"What is this guys trip?" I ask myself.
"Watch me, Dickhead!" Before I can even swing, "Whoomphh" I double over and pass out. I awake to the sounds of sirens wailing in the background. "Hurry babe, we gotta go!" Lisa grabs my hand and pulls me up. I glance over at the form crumpled up on the floor. Chuck is lying face first on the floor bleeding profusely from all of his facial orifices. "Man sombody really ****ed him up!" I think. We run out back and find our way out of that part of town.

At home I ask Lisa what happend. "Nothing." she says. "go to sleep you've had a long night. "Tell me about it." I whisper as I kiss her goodnight.
I wait till I can talk to the guys at work.
"Hey guys! Whats up?"
Everybody chimes in, "Dude, Chuck needs some serious plastic surgery."
"What happend?"
"You don't remember?"
"Naw."
"After Chuck put you on the floor with the kick to the nuts, Lisa jumps up from her seat and kicks him straight in the nuts from behind. He doubles over, Lisa grabs the poor bastard by his ballsback and yanks him face first into the ground then she grabs the back of his hair and powerslams his face right into the floor."
I'm dumbfounded. "**** dude"
"Dude I'm not even done yet. After burying his head into the floor, she grabs the pool cue and proceeds to beat the living **** out of him. It's like, whoosh CRACK! Broken cue, broken ribs. Then she kicks him STOMP STOMP STOMP. If it hadn't been for the cops she have killed him."
"Oh man. I guess I better watch myself."
"**** dude, fear her man. Fear her."
Well theres somthing to be said about the love of a woman.

Chivalry is not dead, it just found a new home.

Thanks Lisa I love you.

Holy Crap! When did this happen?

Damn man,

Sounds like he got his in the end.

But the Ballz man, thats just not cricket baby.

Anything you can do, we can do better. . . :cool: Think they'll make a Lifetime TV movie? Assault and Battery: The Next Generation. One woman's struggle to break the criminal world's glass ceiling. . . with a jackhammer.

Sounds like Mr.Wr0ng found out NoDoz's password. ;) Nice story. I agree that the balls aren't proper, but your little punisher friend shook his gloves off first, so I'd say he deserves what he got. I guess you'd better keep your lady happy, man.