maybe, maybe not. Losing grip with reality. good times.

Whats up man?

oh, lack of sleep, too much homework, and my general frame of mind made me lose it for a while. After a couple nights sleep, Im a-o-k.:) I hope I stay that way.

Well, I have been vauge about my mental stability. I think there are different levels of insanity, just like anything else. I am oddly messed up, yet for the most part, you would never know. Most people think Im a nice guy, normal, quite (but how often do you hear that). And for the most part I am. I have self-control and such, so that I rarely snap. I only remember a few occasions, and usually it was because someone was pushing me.

I have found that venting a little is better, I loose some of the nice guy persona, but at least its not all bottled inside.

But its been like this my whole life, the only reason I feel like posting is because a guy at work noticed. He was joking about it, saying stuff like- you'll be a news story one day. Hes kind of a redneck, but the old guy can see BS a mile away, and smell it twice as far. After seeing me at the end of a night shift, pissed and reclusive, he noticed I didnt like being yelled at or given a hard time.

I suppose it wouldnt take too much for me to completely loose it, and go postal. I sometimes hear about people having their homes taken away, or taken to jail while innocent...etc. And I would just think: I would snap.

And when I say 'snap' I dont know what that invloves. When I was younger, it meant attacking the kid in class who threw a ruler at me. A few years ago, it meant yelling at my boss. Stuff thats out of my character, and unexpected by everyone including me.

I suppose it doesnt sound like much, there are people out there who are more nuts, and do worse things. I just wonder how far away I am from being one of them. What would it take?