Acceptable, and effective form of discipline??? Or child abuse???

It's wrong if it's done out of anger, spite, intent to cause suffering, etc. It's appropriate if it's simply used as a punishment to deter the child from maladroit behaviour.

depends on the situation. if its a SERIOUS offense, yeah, but not done when you're still pissed off. calm down, think it through, spank em, let THEM calm down and then talk to em and explain **** to em. the talking to them part IMO, is VERY important, the spanking is the severe consequence of there severe actions, the talking explains WHY they got whooped and HOW to prevent it in the future.

i really dont like the hands off (literally) approach. WTF is time out? spending 20 minutes in their room full of toys and game system? some punishment! sounds more like fun time to me.

i think yelling and punishing out of spite or anger is abuse, regardless of the punishment.

Effective, but do it within reason. Don't do it all the time, and don't do it out of anger. Sometimes a good kick in the ass (figuratively) is just what some people need.

an effective form of discipline.

If I walk up to a stranger on the street and hit her w/ an open hand on the arse or the face, then I have committed a crime. Why is violence that is not accpetable when done to a stranger perfectly acceptable when it is done to someone you love?

It makes no sense.

I never was spanked as a child, and I never spanked my children. I think you send a mixed message when you tell your child that it's not right to 'hit' or 'hurt' others, then you turn around and do it to them.

Why is violence that is not accpetable when done to a stranger perfectly acceptable when it is done to someone you love?

Becuase you have no business trying to discipline a stranger.


Spanking can be an effective means of discipline as long as it is'nt the go-to method
of dealing with misbehaviour.

I tried to make spanking the very last resort sort of thing... I only spanked them when they were deliberatly deceptive.

I tried to show them that lying was one thing that absolutley would not be tolerated under any circumstance, and that it would get them what I considerd to be the worst punishment.

I can only think of 2 or three times that I spanked my kids.
Now I dont have to. They get grounded from this or that, and I try to reward them when they do well.
It seems to work out for us, and my kids are very well behaved, and generaly very respectful and considerate folks.

I was spanked only one time that I can remember as a child and I tell you it left a lasting impression, I never did again what got me spanked!

When I have kids I don't plan on spanking them, and I certainly don't want to spank them. But what happens if nothing else works? It may be used as a last resort. I agree with ThePrankMonkey on this subject that talking about what the child did and why they got spanked is the most important part. They need to understand what happened, why it happened and what they can do to prevent it in the future, otherwise they may not really understand (especially if they are very young) and think that you are just trying to hurt them and become withdrawn and scared around you.

I was spanked when I was a kid, and I’ll spank my kids when I eventually have them. I turned out ok.

I was spanked when I was a kid, and I’ll spank my kids when I eventually have them. I turned out ok.
:stupid:

I can count the number of times I've spanked both of my kids on one hand.

One time I remember in particular with my daughter. She was barely 2 years old, and ran outside down the street while I was in the bathroom (I thought the front door was locked.) I did swat her on the butt because I wanted her to associate a dangerous & potentially hurtful situation with something that hurt. She wouldn't have understood a lecture, and timeout IMO didn't fit the situation. I wanted her to remember that, so she wouldn't do it again. And she didn't.

I don't think it hurts as a last resort, like RWZ said. I was spanked once as a kid, and after that, the thought of it was enough for me to behave myself. And grounding for me was a joke; I'd either nag my mom to death till she caved, or I'd just sneak out.

I think it's interesting that the first three or four replies come from those without kids. It's so easy to be anti-spanking before the kids arrive.... :p

We said 'no spanking' before our kids were born as well, but that fell by the wayside quick enough.

The problem is that there is an age where children are fully mobile, from about a year, meaning they can run, jump, grab, pull, etc. etc. but still can't communicate through speech. They just don't understand words. So all the time-outs, stern lectures, etc. in the world won't stop them from doing what they want. Now, if they're doing something dangerous, as toddlers often do, then you have to get the message across somehow.

I spanked my boy plenty of times, and my girl has already gotten a few swats. I even did it "out of anger" (i.e. annoyance, you can only get so angry at a toddler) more than once.

Always on the butt, with his diaper on.

He eventually learned to laugh it off, and as his specch developed I don't even bother to spank anymore. I can't remember the last time I did it. Now he is of the age where we can effectively punish him without spanking and he understands the cause-and-effect aspect, which is the only important thing when disciplining your kid.

Everyone has their own way, and I certainly admire those who never lay a finger on their kids. I admit I don't know how they did it. We also never have left our kids with babysitters, so maybe the fact that at least one of us has been with both kids at all times since they were born frazzled our nerves and de-sensitized us a little.

Also, To me a strict "no-spanking" dictum reinforces the pathological fear of physical violence that most people in modern society suffer from. A little ass-whippin' is hardly the worst thing that can happen to anybody, the sooner they learn that the better.

it is frightening that DHM and I agree on certain things.
;)

I spank.

I raised my daughter w/o ever spanking her. I never had any significant behavior problems w/ her as she grew up, she did well in college and is happy & well-adjusted woman.

I think it's interesting that the first three or four replies come from those without kids.

ha! my reply is the second. and i have two children.


not that its any of your business but...

you need to stop jumping to INCORRECT conclusions.

i eagerly await the apology you wont be giving/excuse why you wont give one for your WRONG assumption.

i dont like spanking my kids. i avoid it whenever i can and lucky for me, they dont give me very many reasons to do it. if there isnt a need, i dont do it. and about 90% of the time they're very good kids. i give positive reenforcement when they act well and behave, show good manners, etc. thats something i dont think many parents do.

If I ever have kids, I suspect I may use light spanking as DHM did, and abandon it once they learn how to communicate. I wouldn't spank as punishment, but to deter them from dangerous activity. As DHM mentioned, saying "don't touch the stove" to someone that doesn't understand english doesn't work.

Spanking should only be used as a form of foreplay. That's why it is weird to spank one's children.

Spanking should only be used as a form of foreplay. That's why it is weird to spank one's children.
:werd:

As DHM mentioned, saying "don't touch the stove" to someone that doesn't understand english doesn't work.

My buddy had a very strange way of deterring his children from touching the stove.

When he would see them reach for the stove, he'd grab their hand, and slowly move it toward the flame, stopping when he felt them start to pull back.

At first I was rather mortified by the idea, but I guess it makes a bit of sense.
The kid gets to feel first hand that it will burn him, without actualy incuring any real injury.
He said he did that with all his kids and none of them ahve ever burned themselves on the stove.

weird, but i guess it works.

Spanking should only be used as a form of foreplay. That's why it is weird to spank one's children.

Spanking should only be used as a form of punishment.
That's why it is weird to spank someone during foreplay.

My buddy had a very strange way of deterring his children from touching the stove.

When he would see them reach for the stove, he'd grab their hand, and slowly move it toward the flame, stopping when he felt them start to pull back.

At first I was rather mortified by the idea, but I guess it makes a bit of sense.
The kid gets to feel first hand that it will burn him, without actualy incuring any real injury.
He said he did that with all his kids and none of them ahve ever burned themselves on the stove.

weird, but i guess it works.

I've got something even more mortifying, I actually let my kid touch the weber grill. Unlike a range it's coated so the flesh doesn't start melting instantly. I used to go crazy trying to grill outside with him, then I realized that he has pretty good reflexes, so I let him go ahead and palm it. That was when he was one-and-a-half and he's never tried to touch the grill since. Except for crying for a few seconds he was fine.

Spanking should only be used as a form of punishment.
That's why it is weird to spank someone during foreplay.

And I'm guessing that only the missionary position is acceptable as well, right?

And I'm guessing that only the missionary position is acceptable as well, right?

why are you a missionary?

There is a time and place for a spank on the rear end.
I generally agree with DHM and RWZ here. (although I wouldn't let them touch a barbeque)

It is to be used as a last resort and a means of punishing a serious offense.

I use spankings when they are called for. I dont believe in time out, but use them sometimes, simply as a way to keep from beating the crap out of my son. He is extremely stubborn, like myself, and a smack on the butt is sometimes the only thing he an understand.I normally only have to spank once for a certain offence. ONce he associates something with a butt whooping he usually doesnt do it again.

I will never spank my future children.

Anyone notice a correllation between spank/not spank and political views?

Of course there is a relation between poltics and pareting styles. Conservatives are more about dicipline, and favor spankings, Liberals are less emphatic about behavior, and dont believe in corporal punishment. Has always been that way, since the 60's or so, right around the time of the general moral decay of the country as a whole...:D

I wanted to select both #1 and #5, but it's not multiple choice enabled :mad: I think it's OK, if the offense is serious, like touching the stove or running in the street (for kids). For #5, well you know....:D

I will never spank my future children.

Anyone notice a correllation between spank/not spank and political views?

The ones who were not spanked are spolied liberal brats?

A smack on the butt (very rarely, I think I recall 2 or 3 times) for my daughter when she was small would work. My son, oblivious to it. Taking away sacred items like his fav hot wheels car or bike privledges worked better. Every child is different.
As a whole, I don't believe in spanking, but as Eeper mentioned, there are those instances where the child is doing something that could harm/kill themselves, then...

The ones who were not spanked are spolied liberal brats?
I was spanked. :p

not enough it seems. :D

not enough it seems. :D
Step aside young man, I'll handle the spankings here.

Hey now, these days I'm the spanker, not the spankee!

Wha?...What the Sam Hill am I doing in the PARENTING FORUM??? :eek:

*runs away*

Actually, though I have no first hand experience, I'd agree that a spanking can be a good thing if used judiciously as a training tool. The situation would need to be serious enough to warrant it.

As Myst says, each child is different and needs to be treated as such.

The main problem I have with corporal punishment is when it is used as an outlet for the parents anger rather than as a means of teaching right from wrong.

If I walk up to a stranger on the street and hit her w/ an open hand on the arse or the face, then I have committed a crime. Why is violence that is not accpetable when done to a stranger perfectly acceptable when it is done to someone you love?

because children are virtual slaves of the adults. children have few legal rights. adults have many rights over their children then other children or other strangers.

I say spank them or switch their legs, only for good reason, but NEVER slap them or verbally abuse them.

Hey now, these days I'm the spanker, not the spankee! *gets excited & strips down to panties*

*gets excited & strips down to panties*
This is the parenting forum! Get your pantied ass to the everything forum! :p

How do you think I got kids?:|

Acceptable, and effective form of discipline??? Or child abuse???
I never spanked my daughter. There are better ways of diciplining a child.

The real trouble with spanking is that it gets children to think its ok to use force to solve problems.

Also, in the current right wing political climate, everyone is so paranoid about child abuse. If a kid tells his or her teacher they are spanked at home the DCFW will come by, take your child away and put you in prison for child abuse. :|

TIme out for me was sitting in a hard wooden chair in a corner by myself.

Spanking should be the last resort, and then done when all else has no effect. I admit it. I've spanked my nephew before.
The three year old child was constanly running out into the crowded parking lot at a supermarket, in spite of all the dire consequences that would befall him if he didn't get in the stupid car.( No trick or treating, no pumpkins, no costume etc.) so, more out of fear of seeing my beloved nephew hit by a car, I grabbed his little arm and whack whack whacky whack on his little behind and threw him in his carseat. I was so upset that he would disobey me like that.
Believe me, he did exactly what I told him to do for the rest of the day. It was the first time I had ever spanked him, and it caused him to relate bad behavior with a sore bottom. Most effective on that occasion.

If I ever have kids, I suspect I may use light spanking as DHM did, and abandon it once they learn how to communicate. I wouldn't spank as punishment, but to deter them from dangerous activity. As DHM mentioned, saying "don't touch the stove" to someone that doesn't understand english doesn't work.

I generally agree with this, but I don't have kids yet so we'll see. For me, the more I was punished the more I would misbehave - to prove I could not be controlled. The harsher the punishment was the more determined I was to do it again as soon as possible. If my parents had actually tried to reason with me or explain things, rather than just "Because I said so" or "Because I'm the parent and you're the child" I would have been far less rebellious. I will never use those lines on my kids. That's worse than spanking, IMO, because it disrespects the child. Every child deserves an explanation.

The day I rationalize that I absolutely need to hit my child will be the day I enroll myself in therapy.

Sometimes you just gotta whoop dat ass. You see them trying to chew on cords or try to dig into an electrical socket... Smack, smack.

No, you don't sometimes have to hit your kids.
Have you ever honestly known an older child that chewed on electrical cords?
It's the job of a parent to protect their child while they're little.

I know this is harsh, but one of the most effective ways of "training" a young child (3 or older) is some form of physical punishment.Thier minds will associate bad behavior with a painfull response. Sometimes grounding or taking away privelages is enough to get the point across, a few times it isnt.
An explination as to why the pain was inflicted afterward is required, I think. Just hitting a child and then walking away is abusive and cruel. How is this child suppose to learn that this particular action has a painful consequence if it is not explained what is unacceptable? I don't think that it should be excessive. One or two solid whacks or a smart slap on the hand should be enough.
Personal story
Dad told me to go to bed. I flat out said no. He grounded me from the T.V for a week. I still wouldn't go to bed. He then gave me a mild spanking(2 whacks) and put me in bed. About 10 minutes later I was on the top bunk with my sister jumping and laughing. He came back in, spanked me for being out of bed, and then spanked my sister for allowing me on the top bunk. (He was afraid that I'd fall off) Then, sometime later, I got back on the top bunk again and did the same thing when my sister went to the bathroom
Dad came out with the belt. Two whacks, and I never got out of bed again when I was suppose to be asleep. I was about five.
Sounds harsh and mean, right? Nope. It was effective and produced the desired results. Should spanking/whacking be the first course of action? Hell no! It should, however, be a resourse that the parent has to use

Spanking works better for some kids, and not for others. I use it as a last resort for serious misbehavior. More often than not, removing toys, taking away tv privileges and my form of time out seems to work for most things.
What some people fail to see it that in nature, all animals use physical punishment to discipline. Just because we are supposed to be a higher life form doesn't mean that we should abandon what has worked for centuries
Lets face it, lack of physical punishment has brought us to where we are now. Kids lack guidance and discipline, believing that ultimatly, they can do as they please because mom and dad are limited in how they can deal with them. Parents become nothing more than providers of food and a roof in most cases. If you use spanking sparingly, and incorporate it with other forms of discipline, it works. As an only means, it doesn't work.

When I raise a child, I'm going to try and follow my moms advice. She never waited until dad got home. The unacceptable behavior must be addressed quickly, or the child might forget why they are being spanked!! Honestly!
True, my Bird ( mom) was so small and tiny that she would use whatever was handy. Shoe, slipper, wooden spoon, whatever. Back then I dreaded her stupid stinky slipper, but now its flippn hilarious!

Lets face it, lack of physical punishment has brought us to where we are now.
What do you mean and why do you think that?
Why is it that in countries where spanking has been taboo for many years there isn't some huge problem with juvenile delenquency?

What countries are you speaking of? It may be taboo but I'd be willing to bet that it exists and is used, just not admitted to.
I was raised around quite a few diverse nationalities, and all of them used an occasional spanking to correct serious misbehavior. I've seen wooden spoons, leather straps, and sticks used. I've seen parents whack their kids upside the head while totally denying the use of spanking. This countries problem with juvenile delinquency has more to do with giving too much and expecting too little. It has a lot to do with kids believing that their parents are limited in how they can deal with misbehaviour. I had my two kids in a preschool/daycare where the owner didn't believe in spanking. She had both her kids in the school, and the oldest, (a daughter) was taken to throwing fits to get what she wanted. One day during a major fit, she literally tore up one of the classrooms. When the teachers tried to get her under control she hit and kicked them. When her mother tried to take control, she hit, kicked and bit her. Nothing she did made the girl stop UNTILL she removed her from the class, took her into the office and spanked her. From then on, that was a different girl.
Her mother told me later that was the first spanking she had ever given any of her kids. Her reason for not spanking was because she was abused as a child herself. Theres a big difference in beating the crap out of a kid, and swatting their butts.
I expect my kids to behave. And when they don't, and they are warned, and I've used all the other means to correct the problem, I will resort to a spanking. Specially when the behavior could result in them getting seriously injured. There's only so much talking and reasoning you can do with a 5 year old, and they become aware at a very young age just how far you are willing to go to get them to do what they know they are supposed to. If they know that there's a chance they are going to get spanked, they tend to stop short of taking that last step over the line.
Its real easy for people that don't have kids yet, to say they won't do something. Its after you have them that your ideas change.

I mentioned earlier that a child shouldn't be spanked if they are under 3. This is because thier grasp of language and body signals isn't as advanced. When they are really young, a time out place is the best thing to use. It might carry forward into the later years, but it may not.
Spanking isn't suppose to be a demeaning or hateful action. I see it as a last resort to train a child to do what you think is appropraite. Training behavior in a young child is crucial.
Pain is one of the most effective tools that a parent has to wield. There is a right time and place for it, of course. Thier should be steps taken, but if that kid is push'n it, then you gotta push back once in a while.

If they know that there's a chance they are going to get spanked, they tend to stop short of taking that last step over the line.


That's not how it worked with me. I would do what I wanted to regardless of the punishment, to prove that no one could tell me what do to. I was a nightmare to raise. I was much happier and did muh better when all attempts at discipline were stopped and I was left to make my own rules. I was a very precocious child though, so perhaps more capable than most in governing myself.

Spanking works for some children, not for others. It certainly works for my daughter. Like all young people, she is impulsive, wants to experiment, and so forth, but I draw clear lines, and she knows them, and sometimes she has to be reminded of them. I always talk to her about why she is being spanked, both before and during the spanking. She is rarely defiant afterwards, but if she is, I spank her again immediately, harder. She is never confused about why she is being punished in this way. I never use any implement, only my hand on her bottom and over my lap. She is a high-spirited, cheerful, intelligent student, with great grades in a difficult school. She often comes up to me after and says to me, "I love you, Mom." The spankings have not harmed her; we are close, affectionate, and she confides in me.

That's not how it worked with me. I would do what I wanted to regardless of the punishment, to prove that no one could tell me what do to. I was a nightmare to raise. I was much happier and did muh better when all attempts at discipline were stopped and I was left to make my own rules. I was a very precocious child though, so perhaps more capable than most in governing myself.

Yeah it brings out the defiance in alot of kids. Did with me.

Spanking works for some children, not for others. It certainly works for my daughter. Like all young people, she is impulsive, wants to experiment, and so forth, but I draw clear lines, and she knows them, and sometimes she has to be reminded of them. I always talk to her about why she is being spanked, both before and during the spanking. She is rarely defiant afterwards, but if she is, I spank her again immediately, harder. She is never confused about why she is being punished in this way. I never use any implement, only my hand on her bottom and over my lap. She is a high-spirited, cheerful, intelligent student, with great grades in a difficult school. She often comes up to me after and says to me, "I love you, Mom." The spankings have not harmed her; we are close, affectionate, and she confides in me.

You are right it works for some kids and not others.

It also depends on the parents. I have never hit my daughter, neither has my wife, but I am adept at psychological warfare. Seems to work fine.

Mind you she is 11 and just about to burst into puberty, I see trouble ahead.

How old is your daughter?

How do you spank a child after you have "calmed down" ?

The only time I was spanked as a child was when I did something that put me in danger, and I scared the bejeezus out of my parents. It was to deter me from ever doing it again - and it worked! I never thought of it as abuse, and it did not scar me from life.

I mentioned earlier that a child shouldn't be spanked if they are under 3. This is because thier grasp of language and body signals isn't as advanced.

When I was two, I wandered down to the lake alone, despite many warnings. My father proceeded to peddle my ass up the stairs, across the lawn, and up to the the bedroom. I could then be heard over the baby monitor, telling my infant brother (between sniffles) what would happen to him if he ventured to the water alone.

I never again went down to the lake alone, even as an adolescent.

Spanking works for some children, not for others. It certainly works for my daughter. Like all young people, she is impulsive, wants to experiment, and so forth, but I draw clear lines, and she knows them, and sometimes she has to be reminded of them. I always talk to her about why she is being spanked, both before and during the spanking. She is rarely defiant afterwards, but if she is, I spank her again immediately, harder. She is never confused about why she is being punished in this way. I never use any implement, only my hand on her bottom and over my lap. She is a high-spirited, cheerful, intelligent student, with great grades in a difficult school. She often comes up to me after and says to me, "I love you, Mom." The spankings have not harmed her; we are close, affectionate, and she confides in me.

This is exactly how it was in my house growing up, which is why I am pro-spanking (the right kind of spanking) to this day.

why are you a missionary? That would be easier to understand with punctuation

Spanking should only be used as a form of foreplay. That's why it is weird to spank one's children. :-) I chose option 2. If you are spanking except on occasion then you've got bigger problems than dicipline. Thugs were mostly well diciplined (spanked) children.

:-) I chose option 2. If you are spanking except on occasion then you've got bigger problems than dicipline. Thugs were mostly well diciplined (spanked) children.

Thugs were mostly beaten, not spanked or disciplined. If you don't know that there is a difference, then by all means, you should NOT spank a child!

Gee you're well balanced aren't you?

"spanked" is a forign term to me. Spanked and beaten, you're jus splitting hairs. Spanking will just as likely produce some one who views violence with a relaxed attitude as beating will.

Like I said spanking any more than on a rare accasion is a sign you should have tried parenting first.

Gee you're well balanced aren't you?

"spanked" is a forign term to me. Spanked and beaten, you're jus splitting hairs. Spanking will just as likely produce some one who views violence with a relaxed attitude as beating will.

Like I said spanking any more than on a rare accasion is a sign you should have tried parenting first.

Yes, I am well balanced, thanks for noticing.

The inclusion of proper spanking as part of a disciplinary repertoire that also includes grounding, extra chores, early bedtime, and other punishments is what I call positive parenting.

I never was spanked as a child, and I never spanked my children. I think you send a mixed message when you tell your child that it's not right to 'hit' or 'hurt' others, then you turn around and do it to them.

This no spank luxuary is usually reserved for the absent parent or the un-usual kid who can get along without a spanking .

I wonder how many spankings life gave you that would have been better done by a loving parent ?

if you only have one or two kids, this may be easy to do , but when several kids get together, you better have an alternative or equalizer .

I never hit a kid in the face and seldom with m hands . i used a switch mostly . And very seldom had to use it, because they knew I would . Some parents thrweaten a kid into bordom . " I'll telling you only 15 more times to get off the RR tracks !"

This no spank luxuary is usually reserved for the absent parent or the un-usual kid who can get along without a spanking .

An absent parent obviously doesn't have to deal with issues of discipline. As far as an unusual child, well what's a 'usual' child. Every child is different, but short of having to defend yourself from attack, there's no situation where I believe physical violence is an appropriate answer or response. If you're angry enough to want to inflict pain on your own child, you probably need to dismiss yourself from the situation until you've cooled off sufficiently to behave like a rational adult.

I wonder how many spankings life gave you that would have been better done by a loving parent?

I can't think of any 'loving parent' making an excuse to physically abuse their child. My parents were very strict with me. We had a lot of 'rules' and 'structure' in my home growing up. Both of my kids will tell you that I was a VERY strict disciplinarian, but that I NEVER struck them, with my hand or any other object.

if you only have one or two kids, this may be easy to do , but when several kids get together, you better have an alternative or equalizer.

If one can't handle more than one or two kids, they shouldn't have them.

I never hit a kid in the face and seldom with m hands . i used a switch mostly . And very seldom had to use it, because they knew I would . Some parents thrweaten a kid into bordom . " I'll telling you only 15 more times to get off the RR tracks !"

You know, if you hit your spouse with a 'switch', a 'belt', or your hand, it would be solid grounds to get you arrested. Why is this considered abuse if administered to an adult, but discipline when administered to a child?

Obviously, these are my opinions and it's not my place to tell others how they need to raise their own children. I am just of the belief that it's completely possible to raise children without having to abuse them. And in my opinion, spanking is physical abuse.

You know, if you hit your spouse with a 'switch', a 'belt', or your hand, it would be solid grounds to get you arrested. Why is this considered abuse if administered to an adult, but discipline when administered to a child?

Because it is a child. That is a full, complete response that requires no elaboration or qualification. It is a child and you are responsible for who that child becomes.

You also can't make an adult go to bed at 8 o'clock, eat his vegetables, brush his teeth, make his bed, etc., while you most certainly can make your own child do those things. Why? Again: because an adult is not a child. Period.

Because it is a child. That is a full, complete response that requires no elaboration or qualification. It is a child and you are responsible for who that child becomes.


So, 'just because' the abuse victim is a child, it makes the abuse okay? I do believe that children learn by example, and if they're raised with intolerance and abuse, they will most likely become intolerant abusive adults.

You also can't make an adult go to bed at 8 o'clock, eat his vegetables, brush his teeth, make his bed, etc., while you most certainly can make your own child do those things. Why? Again: because an adult is not a child. Period.

These things are habits that are taught with reason and explanation, not violence. I never had to abuse my child in order to get them to comply with reasonable requests, perhaps because I earned their respect and trust, not their fear.

And again, the 'just because' reasoning. That's a full and complete cop out. 'Just because' is never a reasonable explanation.

When spanking is necessary the kids should be spanked.
Of course im not taking about any crazy borderline abusive spanking.
The fact is if more kids were spanked nowadays we wouldnt be complaining about kids today.
Just my opinion.
I however voted only effective on rare occasions.
It seems like spanking causes resentment more than anything else nowadays. Hmm but then again it all depends on the region.

When spanking is necessary the kids should be spanked.
Of course im not taking about any crazy borderline abusive spanking.
The fact is if more kids were spanked nowadays we wouldnt be complaining about kids today.
Just my opinion.
I however voted only effective on rare occasions.
It seems like spanking causes resentment more than anything else nowadays. Hmm but then again it all depends on the region.
I don't think spanking should EVER be an option. It does nothing more that teach children its ok to use violence.

Uh huh slapping a child on the arm for example is just such violence :rolleyes:
If you dont want kids to learn about violence just keep your home violence free and home school your kids.
What happens when our child sees some cop using his baton on some drunken vagrant?
Spanking can be effective in some cases especially as it concerns younger children.

Uh huh slapping a child on the arm for example is just such violence :rolleyes:
If you dont want kids to learn about violence just keep your home violence free and home school your kids.
What happens when our child sees some cop using his baton on some drunken vagrant?
Spanking can be effective in some cases especially as it concerns younger children.
I never spanked by daughter and she is doing very well. In fact shes an honor student.

Anyway these days if you spank a child you will be arrested for child abuse and sent to prison. With all these right wingers in power they will lock you up for anything these days.:hmm:

Only effective on rare occasions.

I personally have never spanked my son and now that he's getting older (9) I hope I never have to. Growing up my parents never laid a finger on me and I hoped to be able to do the same for my son. The only punishment I use is taking away things that are of importance to my son for a period of time - such as his gameboy or playing with his friends. When he was younger I used timeout in a corner sitting on a stool and he stayed there for as many minutes as his age -- that one worked quite well..

My sister took a different approach and did use spanking as a discipline for her daughter and it's now to the point where the daughter just bends over and awaits her punishment. It's not effective at all because she still keeps doing the things she knows she'll get punished for..

My parents spanked me and I turned out ok. I don't think there's anything wrong with spanking. That's spanking...not beating.

My parents spanked me and I turned out ok. I don't think there's anything wrong with spanking. That's spanking...not beating.
The "my parents did it and I'm fine" argument isn't a very strong one. There are children who's mothers drank and smoked while pregnant and they turned out fine, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

The "my parents did it and I'm fine" argument isn't a very strong one. There are children who's mothers drank and smoked while pregnant and they turned out fine, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

So what's a good argument that not spanking them is good? The whole "I didn't spank my kids and they turned out fine" argument?

All we've done now is given all the power to the kids. If a parent strikes a child, they go to jail...period. If a child strikes a parent, they just didn't know any better or they're too young to go to jail or the parents must have done something to get hit or we ground them and they learn that hitting people in authority will get your TV privileges taken away for a few days.

Children don't engage in the same sort of moral reasoning as adults, and trying to explain why they're being spanked is difficult at best. For that reason I don't believe in spanking as a way to reinforce any kind of moral lesson. Sometimes understanding isn't required, though. If a child persists in behavior that could lead to physical harm and is resistant to anything less primal than "because it will hurt if you do that" then I think that the minor trauma of spanking might be preferable to the major trauma of allowing the behavior to continue.

Never having to spank a child is a wonderful idea, and it's great when that works, but some people might be surprised to learn that not all children are alike. Spanking that is done for the wrong reasons, or overdone, or done when there's no reason to believe it will be effective, is a form of abuse, but neglect is a form of abuse too and failing to teach a child not to do certain things is a form of neglect.

So what's a good argument that not spanking them is good? The whole "I didn't spank my kids and they turned out fine" argument?
Obviously it's on the same level as "I spanked and they were fine," pretty useless.
All we've done now is given all the power to the kids. If a parent strikes a child, they go to jail...period.
Absurd. If they beat their child, they do. I've seen plenty (hundreds?) of parents spank their kid right in public, and they continued on their un-arrested merry way.

I'm not necessarily advocating that every parent that spanks their child should be punished, just pointing out the flaw in your original defense of spanking.

*edit* For the record, I completely agree with PlatyGuy's post above this one.

Platy for pres on this one.

Anyway these days if you spank a child you will be arrested for child abuse and sent to prison. With all these right wingers in power they will lock you up for anything these days.:hmm:

Your second sentence is correct. However, spanking is still legal in the United States and will be for the foreseeable future. Also, right-wingers usually tend to be more pro-spanking than other people (although I'm a pro-spanking left-winger).

When you are angry with your child, don't spank. Rather do a minute of breathing exercise, you will be a lot calmer. Spanking may not be the only option when you are calm. You wil prefer to talk to the chilld and understand the child first.

Spanking is for parents who lack the appropriate parenting skills.

:werd:

Spanking is for parents who lack the appropriate parenting skills.

:yeahthat:


Just like detension is for teachers who can't control their students.

No. Detention isn't the same at all.

No. Detention isn't the same at all.

You're right. Spanking actually works.