My friend is getting married early April, I'm the best man. I wrote a pretty good speech, it goes a little something like this:

Ladies and Gentleman.... everyone suck my balls.
Get the **** up and grab your Champaign.

<Raise the glass>
To the greatest premarital sex having ****ers in the world.
<Bottoms-up>


J/k, I actually wrote a good toast ... it kinda hammers the groom alittle, but I think it's good.

haha, awesome. You should give him a hard time still

Whelp, it was great.

The whole wedding went very well.

I got mad props for my toast.