YALLBONICS:

Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association
of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to
teach "Y'allbonics" in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon line.
Included here are some samples of "Y'allbonics." If you do not
understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation.

HEIDI: (noun) Greeting.

HIRE YEW: (complete sentence) Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi,
hire yew?"

BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My
brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH: (noun) The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER: (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
improvements."

MUNTS: (noun) A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh
bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK: (verb) Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a Docta Peppa."

RANCH: (noun) A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I
leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh
bard a few munts ago."

ALL: (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant.. Usage: "I sure hope my
brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.."

FAR: (noun) A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't
change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR: (noun) A rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from
Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE: (noun) A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek
don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime."

RETARD: (verb) To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FARN: (adjective) Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd
he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID: (adjective) Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

ARE: (noun) A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen. Usage: "He cain't
breathe ... give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR: (noun) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from
that bob war fence."

interesting, to say the least...while i am not aware of your location, sir, i myself am high in the moutains we loving call "appalachia". Now before i am accosted with jokes that were stolen from deliverance, let me assure you, i do not play banjo, i do not live in a shack, and i have certainly never seen a man with what i would call a "purty mouth." I do, however, speak with the accent that is peculiar of this region, being the result of 200 hundred years of Scotch-Irish dialects combining into a single dialect of english due to the extreme isolation from the rest of the "United" States of America...if you like, i can compile a list of Appalachian colloquialisms that should prove as humorous and informative to the individual with the glorious "southern drawl" as the southern drawl would sound to those who speak the other non-southern forms of our great language...