Helloooo DA! I'm baaaccckkk!!! Anyone miss me?

So here's the thing: I have been married for over 3 years now, have a GORGEOUS little boy, got a job that pays the bills, in fair health, things are ok in JannaLand (could be better, could be worse). Having some trouble getting over the ex though. Truth be told, I've NEVER gotten over him. I think about him almost constantly. Dreams, thoughts, memories, wishes, you name it, he's there. I know my dear Princess is sick of hearing about him! Yes, he's moved on, recently got married. Has a GREAT job and I'm sure is very happy. Bully for him. So why can't I forget? I still love him (it sucks out loud, but it is what it is). Anyone in the same boat? I don't need the pity and the "Get over it girl! Get on with your life!" I've said that to myself enough. It seems like he is everywhere. I know the day is coming when I turn around and there he is. Face to face, eye to eye. And I have no idea how I will handle it.

So talk to me folks, help me overanalyze this situation. I need to put this to rest, once and for all.

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"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.Hit it."

/shouts across the boat "Hello"

truth be told, I think the majority of us have been there, or are there.. I guess you really can't help who you love, or think about in some matter of since.. you can choose to hide it, and it will eventually go away, but there is something special about loving someone who is not around.. you know it really means something to you..

so I feel you pain girl.. : )

Alan

Thanks Alan, nice words. I like the idea that there is "something special" about loving someone you can never have. It makes it sound not so depressing! Sometimes the reality of it overwhelms me. It's almost like a death in that I will never hold him again, never hear him laugh at me, never see that certain look he reserved only for me. He is giving all of that to someone else now. And though I don't know her, I don't like her. I hope she realizes just how lucky she is.

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"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.Hit it."

Originally posted by Demeter:
Durden, you should write a book...


if you ever decide to, let me know, I am buying stock in that publisher.. http://discussanything.com/Ubb/smile.gif

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Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is wanting what you get.

http://discussanything.com/Ubb/biggrin.gif . . . If I DID write a book, odds are you'd get an internet pop-up for it . . . along with Linda Latex, Ronco's Pocket Pal, and the Anal Intruder . . . followed by other fine titles such as Saving Ryan's Privates, The Load Warrior, Bitch Cassidy and the Bundance Kid, Close Encounters of the Turd Kind, Fagtasia, Blow White and the Seven Dorks, and, my personal favorite, Bambi Goes Crazy with his Drill and Sex.

(Side note: if ANYONE can tell me where that last movie title came from, I'll PayPal you a buck! LOL!)

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Minister of Spanking

"I AM the lyrical Jesse James."

Durden, just promise you will not be on Oprah. http://discussanything.com/Ubb/tongue.gif

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Blind faith can lead one to the light, or plung them into eternal darkness.

I look at in two ways..

1. atleast I know what I want.. even though I can never have it, there are many people who live there whole life searching..

2. if a miracle does happen and you get what you want, it will feel uncomfortable.. kinda like high school love, but then reality sets in and you remember the days, weeks, months, even years, that you wanted this person, and they rejected you.. then you feel anger towards that person for not coming back sooner..

atleast number 2 is true in my case.. so it's not perfect, but it's nice to want.. and feel gitty about teasing yourself, that, that one day may be coming..

it's good to know that you have moved on though.. I am in the process of doing the same..

Alan

Could it be you "think" you want him so bad, cause the fact is you can't and he is so far away out of your reach now, making you yearn to be a part of his life again?

Something to think about?

Is it TRULY him...that makes you think this way, or is it other factors, that bring you to feel this way.

I do worry though, that someday I will marry and be totally in love with someone else that I cant have..

~Heather

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"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

Originally posted by Princess:

I do worry though, that someday I will marry and be totally in love with someone else that I cant have..


yes, so do I.. not saying you made a mistake, b/c you have to do what you have to do..

I do miss my first love, but that's about it.. I miss being in love for the first time.. since then we have tried to work things out, and it's great for a couple weeks, but it's never the same.. the tingles go away.. I just want to feel some damn tingles, is that too much to ask??

Alan, I have moved on because I didn't have a choice. By the time I realized how I felt, I was already married. Kind of a rebound thing.

Princess, I have thought the same thing many times, and maybe it's true. I read somewhere that when you miss someone from long ago, you are actually missing YOURSELF and the way you were then. Maybe I don't like who I am now and where I am going, so I retreat back to a time when I "knew" who and what I was. But somehow, that is more depressing than missing him.

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"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.Hit it."

Originally posted by Demeter:
Princess, I have thought the same thing many times, and maybe it's true. I read somewhere that when you miss someone from long ago, you are actually missing YOURSELF and the way you were then. Maybe I don't like who I am now and where I am going, so I retreat back to a time when I "knew" who and what I was. But somehow, that is more depressing than missing him.


holy crap, that shed all kind of light on my whole situation.. that is so true, b/c I was confident and knew who I was back then, and I do miss my old-self.. it hit me kinda hard last night, b/c I started hanging out with my old friends again, felt good, in a way..

I was actually having a pretty depressing day, until I read that.. thanks for the enlightenment..

Demeter . . . try this.

Ask yourself if you love him because of the way you remember him as . . . or WANT to remember him as?

Was he REALLY that good or is that the version you WANT to remember?

I mean, sure you remember the 3 carat diamond ring he gave you . . . just for fun, and the weekends in Monte Carlo, but do you also remember the time he farted in front of your mom, or when you caught him screwing that sheep? See, we tend to forget those things and only remember the good stuff when that person is gone.

I sometimes think of my ex-wife the same way. I lay in bed sometimes and think about how pretty she was, how wonderful our wedding was, and how completely magical having our son was. Then, I remember that she ****ed a couple of guys EXACTLY where I'm laying, and I usually get over that crap pretty quickly.

Hope THAT works for you . . . http://discussanything.com/Ubb/wink.gif

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Minister of Spanking

"I AM the lyrical Jesse James."

Durden, you should write a book...

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"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.Hit it."

LOL! No problem . . . Sign me up with G. Gordon and O'Reiley, though.

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Minister of Spanking

"I AM the lyrical Jesse James."

"Today on our show.. the person who calls themself the minister of spanking.."

I have all the patience in the world. I have found perfection, and she's probably at my home reading this right now http://discussanything.com/Ubb/wink.gif.

My thing is that I want other people to be aware of the utter poo-poo that this thing called "love" can get you into.

In a way, we never grow up. My son is about 2, and, even though he's got lots of toys, he would MUCH rather play with the things he's not supposed to play with. If it's glass, has a blade, or plugs into a wall, it's obviously a toy.

As we grow up, we practice the same thing . . . it's just that it goes from daddy's pocket knife to your best friend's girlfriend, the "poor" mistreated alcholic football player, or Ms. "Everyone, everyone . . . LOOK AT ME!!!". It's all the same.

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Minister of Spanking

"I AM the lyrical Jesse James."

So, tell me Mr. Durden,

You dedicate your time to help poor young souls find their way through the obstacles of the love triangle?

This has to take much patience does it not..?

:P

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"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

Something to share, yesterday I saw my ex for the first time in months. I've spent many nights longing to be with her again. Just talking to her made me realize all the crap I DON'T miss about her. Plus, she's gained 30 pounds!:eek: Needless to say I walked away from her with a smile and a fresh perspective.

It doesn't take any patience at all, actually. If people WANT to improve their lives, they can. It's THAT simple. Like I've said, young people have a cool way of explaining why they screw up . . . even RIGHT before they do it. It's that whole "I have to live my life and make my own mistakes . . . ." line. They should just be honest and say "Mom . . . Dad, this IS really dumb, but, right now, I either can't see much past tomorrow or I don't really care . . . so, I'm off to get the tattoo of Jesus and Elvis together at the last supper . . . ."

I try to share what I think is sensible advice with as little "attitude" as possible. Most people can recognize what they can use right off the bat. It's just up to them to accept it or reject it.

Oh, JW . . . it's a great feeling, isn't it?? :D

Originally posted by D Durden


Oh, JW . . . it's a great feeling, isn't it?? :D
It is BEAUTIFUL!!:D