SpabSFW
02-05-2004, 02:56 AM
Dear Sir, In response to my last letter ('Yet another letter from Anthony O'Labrador', Letters, January 25) I wish to congratulate myself wholeheartedly for voting Sinn Féin. As I correctly pointed out, Sinn Féin is the only political party capable of delivering Irish unity, unlike the SDLP whose policy of accommodation is clearly divisive. I wholeheartedly urge all Irish News readers to support Sinn Féin because Ireland will never know peace until everyone agrees with me.
Anthony O'Labrador, Belfast
Dear Sir, I see that Anthony O'Labrador of the Sinn Féin letter writing circle has once again tried to blame the SDLP for the collapse of the peace process. Need I remind Irish News readers that Sinn Féin is still dominated by the IRA whereas the SDLP is merely dominated by Sinn Féin? Allow me to list 14 recent examples of republican hypocrisy… (Letters may be shortened for reasons of space.) The SDLP is the only political party capable of cooperating with unionists, as will become clear should unionists ever decide to cooperate.
Leafy South Belfast Catholic
Dear Sir, I am depressed by the outdated sectarianism displayed by so many of your regular letter writers. Don't they realise that labels such as unionist and nationalist, Protestant and Catholic, Derry and Londonderry, are simply means by which capitalism divides the working class against itself? Has David Ervine taught us nothing? Only when the workers unite in an intensely violent and bloody struggle against the middle class will there be true peace in Ireland.
Socialist, Crawfordsburn
Dear Sir, The National Gravy Association is extremely browned off by your decision to bury our letter in a Protestant column. Is this some kind of plot?
Nick Cuba, National Gravy Association
Dear Sir, What this newspaper needs is a witty and original voice from the anti-agreement unionist community to counter the Vichy-Trimble pro-agreement media conspiracy. To this end I will write to every newspaper in Northern Ireland every day until somebody recognises my brilliance and gives me a job. Some editors claim that a column by an ideologue would simply repeat the same thing over and over again, but this is a lie perpetuated by the Vichy-Trimble pro-agreement media conspiracy.
Vince Davidson, Donaghadee
A Chara, On behalf of the 150,000 fluent native Irish speakers in the six counties we wish to remind your readers that every copy of an English language newspaper they purchase dilutes their Irishness by a quite perceptible 0.0005%. Luckily, writing a letter to a newspaper in the planter tongue has no effect whatsoever.
Gaeltacht na Phobail, Beal Feirste
Dear Sir, I appear to be in the wrong newspaper. Please forward this letter to the Belfast Telegraph. They should be expecting it.
Andrew McAndrews, Halifax
Dear Sir, As if sectarianism was not bad enough the spectre of racism now haunts Northern Ireland, or at least the loyalist areas of Northern Ireland, which is hardly surprising.
I mean what else would you expect from those bigoted Orange scumbags? They can't even tolerate other white people for Christ's sake! Then they have the cheek to attack foreigners when they insist on being foreigners here themselves. We should send them all back to Scotland where they belong, that's what I say.
Grant Dole, Anti-Racist Collective
Dear Sir, Greetings from the Ulster Defence Association. This letter is to inform you that…
(The Irish News regrets that death threats can not be published without a valid codeword.)
Dear Sir, Now that the Irish News has acquired a full-colour printing press, will letters written in green biro be published in their original colour?
Green Biro User, Tyrone
Dear Sir, Concerning your recent article about the work of our organisation ('Independent Commission on Commissions a complete waste of money', the Irish News, January 25) I would like to correct a few points. Our budget is only £497 million per year and not £500 million as you misleadingly claimed. It was also most unfair to describe our recent fact-finding mission to Hawaii as 'taxpayer funded' as the cost of our stay at the Honolulu Hilton was part-subsidised by the United Nations Commission for Commissions on Commissions.
Dr Nigel Bryson, Independent Commission on Commissions
Dear Catholics, As an Ulster Unionist councillor I am writing to the Irish News to demonstrate that I have no problem dealing with people from the other tradition. In fact it's really quite exciting having my name in a nationalist newspaper! To be honest I would have been afraid to do this three months ago but it hardly matters now, with the DUP getting the bigot vote regardless. Plus there might even be a few SDLP transfers in it for me. Wouldn't it be great if it was like this all the time?
Councillor Billy Williams, Ballymena
...
http://www.nuzhound.com/articles/irish_news/arts2004/jan29_letters__NEmerson.php
Anthony O'Labrador, Belfast
Dear Sir, I see that Anthony O'Labrador of the Sinn Féin letter writing circle has once again tried to blame the SDLP for the collapse of the peace process. Need I remind Irish News readers that Sinn Féin is still dominated by the IRA whereas the SDLP is merely dominated by Sinn Féin? Allow me to list 14 recent examples of republican hypocrisy… (Letters may be shortened for reasons of space.) The SDLP is the only political party capable of cooperating with unionists, as will become clear should unionists ever decide to cooperate.
Leafy South Belfast Catholic
Dear Sir, I am depressed by the outdated sectarianism displayed by so many of your regular letter writers. Don't they realise that labels such as unionist and nationalist, Protestant and Catholic, Derry and Londonderry, are simply means by which capitalism divides the working class against itself? Has David Ervine taught us nothing? Only when the workers unite in an intensely violent and bloody struggle against the middle class will there be true peace in Ireland.
Socialist, Crawfordsburn
Dear Sir, The National Gravy Association is extremely browned off by your decision to bury our letter in a Protestant column. Is this some kind of plot?
Nick Cuba, National Gravy Association
Dear Sir, What this newspaper needs is a witty and original voice from the anti-agreement unionist community to counter the Vichy-Trimble pro-agreement media conspiracy. To this end I will write to every newspaper in Northern Ireland every day until somebody recognises my brilliance and gives me a job. Some editors claim that a column by an ideologue would simply repeat the same thing over and over again, but this is a lie perpetuated by the Vichy-Trimble pro-agreement media conspiracy.
Vince Davidson, Donaghadee
A Chara, On behalf of the 150,000 fluent native Irish speakers in the six counties we wish to remind your readers that every copy of an English language newspaper they purchase dilutes their Irishness by a quite perceptible 0.0005%. Luckily, writing a letter to a newspaper in the planter tongue has no effect whatsoever.
Gaeltacht na Phobail, Beal Feirste
Dear Sir, I appear to be in the wrong newspaper. Please forward this letter to the Belfast Telegraph. They should be expecting it.
Andrew McAndrews, Halifax
Dear Sir, As if sectarianism was not bad enough the spectre of racism now haunts Northern Ireland, or at least the loyalist areas of Northern Ireland, which is hardly surprising.
I mean what else would you expect from those bigoted Orange scumbags? They can't even tolerate other white people for Christ's sake! Then they have the cheek to attack foreigners when they insist on being foreigners here themselves. We should send them all back to Scotland where they belong, that's what I say.
Grant Dole, Anti-Racist Collective
Dear Sir, Greetings from the Ulster Defence Association. This letter is to inform you that…
(The Irish News regrets that death threats can not be published without a valid codeword.)
Dear Sir, Now that the Irish News has acquired a full-colour printing press, will letters written in green biro be published in their original colour?
Green Biro User, Tyrone
Dear Sir, Concerning your recent article about the work of our organisation ('Independent Commission on Commissions a complete waste of money', the Irish News, January 25) I would like to correct a few points. Our budget is only £497 million per year and not £500 million as you misleadingly claimed. It was also most unfair to describe our recent fact-finding mission to Hawaii as 'taxpayer funded' as the cost of our stay at the Honolulu Hilton was part-subsidised by the United Nations Commission for Commissions on Commissions.
Dr Nigel Bryson, Independent Commission on Commissions
Dear Catholics, As an Ulster Unionist councillor I am writing to the Irish News to demonstrate that I have no problem dealing with people from the other tradition. In fact it's really quite exciting having my name in a nationalist newspaper! To be honest I would have been afraid to do this three months ago but it hardly matters now, with the DUP getting the bigot vote regardless. Plus there might even be a few SDLP transfers in it for me. Wouldn't it be great if it was like this all the time?
Councillor Billy Williams, Ballymena
...
http://www.nuzhound.com/articles/irish_news/arts2004/jan29_letters__NEmerson.php