And have been for the past several days.

My wife did a very, very bad thing.

Will have to set it out here at some point.

The problem at the moment is that I still can't think rationally about all of this. I start seeing red all over again. Since nothing constructive is coming out...I'd better just hold my tongue.

But, I can't. It seeps out of me.

I didn't blow my stack at her. In fact, I have yet to fully confront her. I don't lose my temper often, but when I do it tends to be really, really bad. I'm kind of afraid how I might act, in fact.

Am going to be changing my quote from Marcus Aurelius to something stupid and/or angry as soon as I find the appropriate one.

I am no Stoic. I am certain of that much. **** gets to me. This certainly did, and continues to.

I think our marriage will survive, but I'm going to need some serious repentance and groveling on her part. She has betrayed my trust too many times now for me to let this go lightly.

Interesting that it is possible to love someone while no longer trusting them. That's certainly where I am on this.

I'm going to be suspending my usual weekly journal updates until I sort through this. Some of them violate DA's ToS.

Take Me Away

( - E. Bloom - A. Nova - )

Strange shapes light up the night
I've never seen 'em though I hope I might
Don't ask if they are real
The men in black, their lips are sealed

Fantasy fills my mind
To leave this place before my time
Release myself from earthly care
My dream may be your nightmare

Chorus:I turn my hopes up to the sky
I'd like to know before I die
Memories will slowly fade
I lift my eyes and say
Come on take me away
Come on take me away

Come here girl close to me
A thousand stars your eyes can see
First one we see tonight
I wish I may I wish I might

Chorus:
Jam
Chorus:
I lift my eyes and say
Come on take me away

This Ain't The Summer Of Love

Feeling easy on the outside
But not so funny on the inside
Feel the sound, pray for rain
For this is the night we ride

This ain't the garden of eden
There ain't no angels above
And things ain't like what they used to be
And this ain't the summer of love

Lock all your doors from the outside
The key will dangle by the inside
You may begin to understand
That this is the night we ride

This ain't the garden of eden
There ain't no angels above
And things ain't like what they used to be
And this ain't the summer of love

On the night we ride...this ain't the summer of love.

This ain't the garden of eden
There ain't no angels above
And things ain't like what they used to be
And this ain't the summer of love
This ain't the summer, this ain't, this ain't
This ain't the summer of love

Out with the old:

Let it not be in any man's power to say truly of thee that thou art not simple or that thou are not good; but let him be a liar whoever shall think anything of this kind about thee; and this is altogether in thy power. For who is he that shall hinder thee from being good and simple? Do thou only determine to live no longer, unless thou shalt be such. For neither does reason allow thee to live, if thou art not such. ~~Marcus Aurelius~~

And in with the new:


This ain't the garden of eden
There ain't no angels above
And things ain't like what they used to be
And this ain't the summer of love


Sufficiently stupid to capture my current mindset.

How'd it turn out? PM me if you like.