I've been talking to someone who is getting married someday soon to his girlfriend of many years whom he says he loves. Yet, he is cheating on her with me (to my disapproval). He told me I am his one last fling before settling down.

What do you guys think about that? Does he really love her? Is it possible to love someone and you know doing a certain thing would hurt them but you do it anyway?

Originally posted by sockcat72
Yet, he is cheating on her with me (to my disapproval)

To your disapproval? What are you disapproving of? The fact that he's cheating on his girlfriend?

What do you guys think about that? Does he really love her? Is it possible to love someone and you know doing a certain thing would hurt them but you do it anyway?

If you can cheat someone you don't love them. When you love someone you don't want to hurt them. If he's saying you're his one last fling, he's not ready to get married.

First off, :hi: :welcome: n00b.

Now, as for your post...

A) If it is to your disapproval, why are you sleeping with him?
B) I'd say it's likely to be a marriage that ends in divorce. Guys who can't settle down after being with one woman for many years aren't likely to change once the ring is on the finger.
C) I'd give this guy the Official Stage Monster Rating of "Scum."
:edit:
D) Give this guy a swift kick in the nuts, tell him it's from most of us here at DA. :|

(I hope you weren't hoping for sympathy, most of us here are far too jaded and cynical to have much of it left)

He is a Dick.
He does not deserve a relationship.
Cheating is the absolute worse thing you can do to someone you love. His love for her is fake, if he even knows what love is. I feel bad for her.

...well not really... I actually couldn't give to ****'s but whatever. Guys like that make me sick.

:: walks away ::

There is no such thing as a "one last fling." If he's cheating now, he'll cheat later.

I fail to see what the marriage part has to do with his idea of what is acceptable or not. It can't be a religious thing because he's obviously 'doin it'.

Originally posted by igofast
There is no such thing as a "one last fling." If he's cheating now, he'll cheat later.

The man in black has spoken.

Here endeth the lesson.:|

Oh, and welcome to DA.:D

NOTHING good about this. I'll make an unformal bet that if the marriage goes through, it won't make it past a year.

Originally posted by FallenAngel

To your disapproval? What are you disapproving of? The fact that he's cheating on his girlfriend?

Yeah.. when I found out about her, I told him I thought we might should just be friends. Or introduce me to her (wink wink). I feel bad for her too. But...I don't know her either and she's his responsibility. I have my own problems to deal with.


Thanks for all the welcomes :D And the opinions. I had no idea people would think he's a dick! lol

If I were you, and learnt about his fiancee' I would have been kicking his butt to the nearest curb.

Only thing worse then a liar, is a cheater.. and well he is both.

I don't believe in 'one last fling.'

Cause, what if you want a 'one last fling' after marriage?

To me, being in love and comitted to someone is what matters, not being married. I treat the relationship with the same 'rules' as I would if we were married..

If his fiance knows about it...well, its shaky ground for their marriage, but it doesn't condem them, as its not lying and its not cheating.

But, as a whole, lies ruin relationships...

once a cheater, always a cheater

Originally posted by FallenAngel
If you can cheat someone you don't love them. When you love someone you don't want to hurt them. If he's saying you're his one last fling, he's not ready to get married.
i agree with you, except to add, i think that if someone is in love they don't want to be with anyone else.

Originally posted by jadatrack

i agree with you, except to add, i think that if someone is in love they don't want to be with anyone else.

Yep yep. :nice:

Originally posted by Manu
I don't believe in 'one last fling.'

Cause, what if you want a 'one last fling' after marriage?

To me, being in love and comitted to someone is what matters, not being married. I treat the relationship with the same 'rules' as I would if we were married..


/agree manu

Oh, sure, agree with him! :mad:

Even when I say the same **** as everyone else, nobody agrees with me.

You all suck.

A few thoughts..

So.. do you think there's a chance for me with him?

Also, what if it's just that I'm so irresistable..and it's not his fault? ahh, nevermind hehe

Or, maybe he is polyamorous and doesn't know it...

My first very cynical thought was that maybe he is lying about getting married so he can just do the booty dance and he does not have to battle with you about the 'C' word or the "M" word

Originally posted by SimoneAsLily
My first very cynical thought was that maybe he is lying about getting married so he can just do the booty dance and he does not have to battle with you about the 'C' word or the "M" word

I thought the same thing at first! But honestly I don't think he's devious enough to do that. He's kind of conservative and sweet and hasn't been with many girls I don't think.

I wish that were the case though, because then I'd have a chance with him for sure! ;)

Originally posted by Stage Monster
Oh, sure, agree with him! :mad:

Even when I say the same **** as everyone else, nobody agrees with me.

You all suck.

I think it's the avatar. :p


Originally posted by sockcat72
A few thoughts..

So.. do you think there's a chance for me with him?

Also, what if it's just that I'm so irresistable..and it's not his fault? ahh, nevermind hehe

Or, maybe he is polyamorous and doesn't know it...

A chance for YOU to get cheated on in the future? Probably. So you're trying to get him to leave his fiancee now? Yeah, where is this disapproval again?

:welcome:

Originally posted by sockcat72
A few thoughts..

So.. do you think there's a chance for me with him?

Also, what if it's just that I'm so irresistable..and it's not his fault? ahh, nevermind hehe

Or, maybe he is polyamorous and doesn't know it...

If by "chance with him" you mean a chance for a stable, exclusive relationship, then the answer is HELL NO!

And as irresistable as you might be, most moral guys would be able to say "I really shouldn't" or something to that effect. Hell, I'm a horny 19-year-old virgin, and I've turned sex down from beautiful girls before because I was interested in someone else.

Originally posted by sockcat72
I've been talking to someone who is getting married someday soon to his girlfriend of many years whom he says he loves. Yet, he is cheating on her with me (to my disapproval). He told me I am his one last fling before settling down.

What do you guys think about that? Does he really love her? Is it possible to love someone and you know doing a certain thing would hurt them but you do it anyway?
No...

Not to be judgemental but I personally would not be sleeping with anyone who is due to be married to someone else. Its bad karma. But thats just me.

Originally posted by sockcat72
A few thoughts..

So.. do you think there's a chance for me with him?

Also, what if it's just that I'm so irresistable..and it's not his fault? ahh, nevermind hehe

Or, maybe he is polyamorous and doesn't know it...
Hate to break it to you my friend but the answer is no. He is just using you. Sorry...

You may be very sexy but so what? I am married and would not cheat on my wife... unless I knew she was cheating on me that is...

Polyamorous? More like he has I-got-a-hard-dick-for-every-hottie there-is disease.:rolleyes:



Originally posted by sockcat72


I thought the same thing at first! But honestly I don't think he's devious enough to do that. He's kind of conservative and sweet and hasn't been with many girls I don't think.

I wish that were the case though, because then I'd have a chance with him for sure! ;)

You seem so sweet and naive. I feel sad for you.

But please listen, this guy is not worth it for you! You need a real guy who will honor you, be committed to you.

If you want to be with this guy just for fun than go ahead but don't be blind my friend.