alright, now when i was a kid i got busted for something stupid and alcohol related.

i went through diversion, and they ordered me to go to a drug treatment center for an alcoholism evaluation. (better than going to court, and my record is clean as a slate)

well i go to the eval, and they give me this stupid questionaire with a bunch of totally non alcohol related questions like:

Do you like school?
well, no, i hated it from kindergarten.

Would you say you are.. happy?
well not especially, since i live in this useless city and i hate it.

and on and on.

well the big african woman "teaching" the "class" (appropriately named "Cocoa") calls me up when im done with this idiotic question sheet

she gives a brief once over of my answers and goes

"sugah, nah, y'all are showing serious signs of acute alcoholism"

now here's the pisser:

I was 15
That was only the second time i had ever drank, and when I got busted, i had only dranken a sip out of a beer.

the first time i drank, i had a shot of whiskey.
the second time was a lousy stinking beer, and i had one sip

and she had the audacity to call me an alcoholic.

LOL.

how unscientific.

Those rehab places are a bunch of crap, my brother has to go to these meetings once a week, he watches movies that are totally unrelated, and for Halloween his instructor or whatever gave him candy and they played games or something, it was gay.

Yeah. I mean, I was a typical 15 year old, life was bleak and my hormones were out of whack, as was the style at the time.

Sure I was depressed, I don't see how a bunch of questions about how happy I was could determine if i had a "problem" with alcohol.

:P

i dunno why i remembered that.

also they "sentenced" me to 3 alcohol classes, i showed up for all of them, but they just told me i could skip them.

i ended up going to one, which lasted 15 minutes.

justice was served. :p