What steps do you take to move on from a relationship, whether it be a freindship, relationship.. ? When you know in your heart it is time to move on..How do you get pass the sadness and just simply move on?

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"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

girl it's different for everyone but with me it took a long time to realize a relationship was bad but friendships i always know......relationship/friendship: evaluate everything good and bad and see if it's worth it if it's not then tell the person there is no way u can be in that situaution anymore

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There is no moving on...you deal with the hurt however you can, and eventually you either hate the person, or you just stop caring.

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Originally posted by hillie16:
There is no moving on...you deal with the hurt however you can, and eventually you either hate the person, or you just stop caring.



That's a pretty good quote. But I think if you hate somebody, that you deep down still care. No matter if you never admit it to yourself or anyone else, it's still there. So I guess I would say you only truely get over someone when you stop caring.

But then again, my xgf says she will never stop caring. So when she marries someone else, does that mean she is lying to me, not over me. Or I could just be wrong.

You move on. Find someone else to at least occupy your time.

A sad heart is an empty herat. Fill it up ASAP.

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"

You spent your time with a "GOOD" girl when trying to forget about an ex. You need a BAD girl to help you forget about another girl (right Lisa!?). It's like saying "I really miss my big block Mustang, so I'm buying a VW Rabbit diesel to help me forget." You need another "big block" or, even better, a "yeah, I hate it when my younger sister jumps in while we're having sex . . . I mean, you know, it just drags things out another 6 or 8 hours . . ." kind of girl. LMAO!

Seriously, though, you need to start concentrating on WHY you DON'T miss your ex. I mean, here's the deal. The heart tends to romanticize things after a while. Like, sometimes, I get to thinking about my ex and how much fun we had together in the 12 years we were together (I remember all 2 times like it was yesterday http://discussanything.com/Ubb/wink.gif), but then, right when I start to get sentimental, I think off all the nights I slept "alone" with her in the same bed. I think of the days I DREADED walking in the door to come home. I think of the months I anticipated the "we need to get a divorce" from her. Little things like that make it easier to get over her.

The stages are: denial, hurt, anger, acceptance, forgiveness.

I skipped denial and hurt . . . that was pretty much the entire 6 year marriage. I jumped right in with anger. Now, I'm in the acceptance thing and gazing out at an approaching forgiveness stage.

Dude, your ex is just that: X. She means nothing, anymore. Go get someone who WILL mean something . . . even if it's just for a week or two. The longer you can go without her, the easier it will be.

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"

my little 4-5 year relationship turns out not to so much compared to yours.. no offense..

all in all, it was the worst, but it was also some of the best.. I don't think I enjoyed it as much as I am missing her.. I guess that is the key..

but now comes to the old fashion "can't we still be friends?"

fyi she broke up with me, b/c she said she is going to marry her best friend (bs) and she doesn't see us getting along that well.. anyways, thanks for the advice

In a word . . . NO!!! YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS!!! Boot that whole idea. Anyone who thinks that is either a) an idiot or b) A WOMAN (or c . . . both, but that's sorta' the same, right? DOOOOOOH!). "Can't we still be friends" means "I may still want to cry on your shoulder and have you buy me dinner sometime, but I don't want to limit myself to you i.e. I may want to sleep around . . . BUT, you already know so much about me that I wouldn't have to rehash my life to a stranger and it saves me the training time." Do NOT be an emotional tampon for her 2 or 3 days out of the month when no one else will take her crap.

After 4 or 5 years, it becomes a security/environmental issue more than an emotional one.

Don't get wrapped up in romanticizing the past. Go out and make a new "past" for yourself.

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"

LMAO emotional tampoon?? LOL..

your right though, I need to make a new past for myself, I don't want to look back and regret even more..

love the whole a) an itiot b) a woman.. thing... classic http://discussanything.com/Ubb/smile.gif

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95 Mustang Gt. .. .. wait wait, wrong web site. : )

Well, it's true. And I take a lot of crap for the way I perceive things, but I'm RARELY disappointed. I've made several key calls over the last 6 months, and I'm batting 1000 so far. I mean, yeah, I've been wrong about people. Honestly, I didn't figure to best friend's marriage would last, but they're still together and doing fine. But, for the most part, these stereotypical scenarios play over and over again to the same conclusion (just different participants).

I guess that's how they get to be stereotypical . . .

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"

Originally posted by hillie16:
There is no moving on...you deal with the hurt however you can, and eventually you either hate the person, or you just stop caring.




I have to agree here..I have been giving many reasons to dislike, I just dont have it in me, I want peace and harmony..sappy but true.. I am the one who "wants to stay friends" I just dunno..I suppose I am young, naive and clueless, when it comes to letting go..

As friendship goes, I let go of one of my best friends after I stood as her maid of honor..I am not a floor mat, it took me a long time and alot of heartache.. SO this topic goes both ways ..letting go of an unhealthy relationship whether love or friendship is hard.




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"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

It's only hard when you MAKE it hard . . . leaving a relationship that is. Other things just sometimes end up hard when you least expect it . . . http://discussanything.com/Ubb/wink.gif.

Ending my marriage, oddly enough, was NOT hard. I was tired of being miserable. The HARDEST part was accepting the fact my son would never have a "normal" home life. Also, it was really hard seeing what side of the fence my friends landed on. It was at this time that I learned big tits have a gravity all their own. Go figure.

What you've got to do is realize what was WRONG with the ex-relationship and reconcile that in your heart. It's not THAT hard once you set about the task. The hard part, though, is just that . . . setting about the task. You MUST decide it's time to move on. The actual moving is the easy part.

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"

"nothing helps you get over the last one, like the next one" -entrapment (stupid movie)

why is it always with girls, that like to crush your heart, and then keep you hanging by just wanting to be friends.. is that just something females want? or do you do it on purpose to hurt us?

I only ask b/c I am giong threw that situation..

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95 Mustang Gt. .. .. wait wait, wrong web site. : )

Originally posted by Wedge4876:
"nothing helps you get over the last one, like the next one" -entrapment (stupid movie)

why is it always with girls, that like to crush your heart, and then keep you hanging by just wanting to be friends.. is that just something females want? or do you do it on purpose to hurt us?

I only ask b/c I am giong threw that situation..



NEWS FLASH:::: Its not only girls who want to stay friends.. mmkay!



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"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

It's not ONLY girls, but it's GENERALLY girls.

Reason #1: Probably because they feel guilty about the break-up and, somehow, remaining "friends" makes them less sinister. "I was screwing his brother, and I wrecked his new Mustang, but we're still friends." Right . . .

Reason #2: Because they have another use for you somehow.

Basically, I have no other ideas why.

Uh, that was me, not Jel.

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"

Originally posted by D Durden:
You move on. Find someone else to at least occupy your time.

A sad heart is an empty herat. Fill it up ASAP.



funny you should mention that... I spent all weekend with good "girl" friend of mine.. but the whole time I was thinking of my x.. it sucked really bad.. your suppose to be the relationship guru.. what should I do??

Originally posted by Princess:
NEWS FLASH:::: Its not only girls who want to stay friends.. mmkay!

Well, girls store some guys in surplus, just in case. Guys focus on one girl, then move on to the next if needed.

As for moving on, I was nearly obssessive towords one girl, durring my pussy years. And she should have made it a little more dirrect that she wouldnt want to see me again, so that made her linger in my mind a bit longer.

But after that, I got into a pissed off mood, then found someone else. Then I put her behind me. I might still want to bang her, depending, but other than that, I dont miss her. I just wish it was as easy for guys to find a new girl, as it is for a girls to find a new guy. Finding someone else speeds up the process, and helps you move on with life.

I don't think there is anything you can actively *do* to get over someone. You just sort of wait it out, and one day you find you haven't thought about them in a couple of days... sooner or later those days turn into months.

Humans are pretty resilient creatures.

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"Science is not the affirmation of a set of beliefs but a process of inquiry aimed at building a testable body of knowledge constantly open to rejection or confirmation. In science, knowledge is fluid and certainty fleeting. That is at the heart of its limitations. It is also its greatest strength."

"Myths are about the human struggle to deal with the great passages of time and life--birth, death, marriage, the transitions from childhood to adulthood to old age. They meet a need in the psychological or spiritual nature of humans that has absolutely nothing to do with science. To try to turn a myth into a science, or a science into a myth, is an insult to myths, an insult to religion, and an insult to science. In attempting to do this, creationists have missed the significance, meaning, and sublime nature of myths. They took a beautiful story of creation and re-creation and ruined it."

"It is sad that while science moves ahead in exciting new areas of research, fine-tuning our knowledge of how life originated and evolved, creationists remain mired in medieval debates about angels on the head of a pin and animals in the belly of an Ark."

"The first-cause and prime-mover argument, brilliantly proffered by St. Thomas Aquinas in the fourteenth century (and brilliantly refuted by David Hume in the eighteenth century), is easily turned aside with just one more question: Who or what caused and moved God?"

"Ultimately all hominids came from Africa, and therefore everyone in America should simply check the box next to 'African-American.' My maternal grandmother was German and my maternal grandfather was Greek. The next time I fill out one of those forms I am going to check 'Other' and write in the truth about my racial and cultural heritage: 'African-Greek-German-American.' And proud of it."

-- Michael Shermer

my xgf says she wants to be friends.. so I guess I am going threw this situation as we speak.. there is a better girl out there for me wanting to go out with me.. I am still somewhat hung on my xgf.. and probably always will be, but I don't want to regret my past again, and it's time to live my life like I want to..

reasons girls still want to be friends with guys? simple.. they feel bad about shitting on them and offer them friendship instead.. only that there friendship turns out to be the "emotional tampon" a couple days of the month were her and her new guy aren't getting along.. I could go on and on.. but I will stop right there..

You learn quickly young Skywalker. Soon, you will call me Mas . . . no, nevermind about that. Just call me Dave. I already have someone to call me Master! LOL!

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"

let me just say that if anyone thinks I have a clue what I am talking about, I actually stole it from dave.. : )

"one day I will be jedi like my father"

Well, I stole it bit by bit along my path . . . and threw in some extras of my own.

There is nothing new under the sun.

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Go ahead and call Cosmo "Chief" and Bill is "Fearless Leader" . . . I'm HAPPILY "Minister of Spanking"!!

Famous Last Words:
Socrates - "I drank WHAT?"