Subject: Rules for Christmas presents for men


Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from hhis ear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.


Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"




Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why

Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

Originally posted by Princess
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

That's because after he ties you up and gags you, he can watch all the football games in peace and quiet. :D

Originally posted by Princess
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from hhis ear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.


This is true... :) very true

Originally posted by Princess
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.



Ha Ha. My dad was begging everyone for a big wheelbarrow this year!

That's what you do after the tying up and gagging? Losers.

Originally posted by Brian


That's because after he ties you up and gags you, he can watch all the football games in peace and quiet. :D


Can I get yet another "HELL YEAH!"? LMAO!

And NO, not with ALL girls Guitarophile:D Just the ones that post male nashing nonsense when they know they're hopelessly outgunned here:D

Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?" That's just because a fatal fiery explosion is a noble alternative to divorce as opposed to staying married for life.;)

Gee, that sounded funny in my head.:confused:

Originally posted by jwreck
That's just because a fatal fiery explosion is a noble alternative to divorce as opposed to staying married for life.;)

That's not just a 'hell yeah', that's a BIG "OH HAYELLLL YEAHHH!". LMAO!

Not that I've ever had a bad relationship. :D

Sorry Heather:( I was trying to quote the friggin post and I accidentally ended up editing it.:( :(

I repaired what I could from the quotes in the rest of the thread. Hope you can re-post it. Sorry again.

No, I dont have it I cleaned out my INBOX..Oh well!

they're all true!!!! :) :) and if it's #2 it had damn well say "craftsman" on it. :)

Originally posted by 92Notch
they're all true!!!! :) :) and if it's #2 it had damn well say "craftsman" on it. :)

hell yeah.. b/c they actually stand behind their lifetime guarantee.. if you can find a way to break it.. they will replace it.. I love that.. :)

Originally posted by Shadowhawk



Can I get yet another "HELL YEAH!"? LMAO!

And NO, not with ALL girls Guitarophile:D Just the ones that post male nashing nonsense when they know they're hopelessly outgunned here:D


Nah. Ya gotta love Heather. With all her little quirks and idiosyncracies, she's one of a kind!!!! Besides, the Princess can takes care of herself quite well...



As for the tying up and gagging part, what is done after depends on WHO it is being tied up and gagged!!!! :cool:

Originally posted by Brian
As for the tying up and gagging part, what is done after depends on WHO it is being tied up and gagged!!!! :cool:

I see you have bought that book too..

which makes another great christmas gift for all the girls out there.. lol

Well, sorry again about screwing up the list Heather:( I even tried the back button on my browser to cut & paste that way in order to recover it.:(

Originally posted by Princess
Subject: Rules for Christmas presents for men


Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from hhis ear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.


Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"




Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why

Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.


NICE....lets just push the double standard a bit bigger shall we

:rolleyes:

I wouldn't want any of that stuff

Originally posted by Shadowhawk
Sorry Heather:( I was trying to quote the friggin post and I accidentally ended up editing it.:( :(

I repaired what I could from the quotes in the rest of the thread. Hope you can re-post it. Sorry again.

Damn, that list of 15. was one of the most intelligible and intelligent posts I've ever seen.

Have you heard the expression "he could **** up an anvil in a sandbox?:confused:

LOL, that admin status sure is fun though isn't it????:D

Originally posted by hammegk


LOL, that admin status sure is fun though isn't it????:D


Yep, ESPECIALLY the "Ban User" option... :D:D:D

All men really want for Christmas is oral sex. Maybe thats just me.;)

Try any & every kind of sex Jwreck:D:D:D

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say

I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherf*cker.

No I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.

Her tits are just too big.

Sometimes I just want to be held.

That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me a woody.

Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.

We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.

F*ck Monday Night Football, let's watch Melrose Place.

It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.

Honey, I'm going to the store, do you need more tampons?

I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.

I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.

Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.

I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed? Maybe I should tell her.

No way, you weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.

Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines. I don't look at them any more.

I understand.

This movie has too much nudity.

Damn, we're late for church!

No, I don't want to see your sister's tits.

Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.

Put some panties on for Christ's sake.

Things Women Don't Say

You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?

The new girl in my office is a stripper; I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

Bar food again? Kick ass

I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.

I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

It's only the third quarter; you should order a couple more pitchers.

Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

Damn! I love it when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch.

You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya big silly.

You are so much smarter than my father.

If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch SportsCenter.

Funny lists. Good stuff.

You go Rayne!!

Yeah Shadow, its all good, but there is something about being stuffed with turkey and then just laying back and enjoying your...present!! :D