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View Full Version : Well, it's finally happening (long).


hillie16
12-11-2001, 05:50 PM
Remember I've posted about the ex I missed so much, that I was with while me and the wife were seperated for a year? Well maybe you should get the whole story.
In May of 99 I married my wife. We were completely happy, and everything was great. for about the first two months. Then she started hangin around this guy at the bar i sang in....began talking to him on the phone and everything. It got to the point were we would walk in, find a table, and she would go hang with him all night and I would be by myself all night. She started nitpicking everything I did, and bitching about everything, no matter how inconsequential (sp?) Any way, on Feb 15, 2000 (Yes the day after Valentines day) a week before we were supposed to move into our new apartment (we were living with her parents) I came home from work and all my stuff is packed. She makes me leave, saying she needs space, whatever. I believe to this day that she wanted this other guy, which she still denies. She still doesn't know how much he came to me (Iwas very good friends with him) and complained about how she was up his arse all the time. Now she has given several stories as to her reasons for leaving...her dad brainwashed her into it, she had issues because of past things in her life that made her panic because we were so close, or whatever. I begged and pleaded and made myself look like an ass for 2 1/2 months trying to get her to come back to me. She kept coming into the bar I sang in...(I was going there before she was even 21...it was the ONLY place I went. It was like it was MY place you know?) And I would sing to her and she would ignore me or whatever. So eventually she tells me she wants a divorce...but she doesn't wanna do it for a while because she wants to stay covered by my health insurance. So I just say whatever. During all of this I'm becoming everything I hate. I'm a jerk to everyone I know...I'm drinking all the time. Then one night, my friends Becky and Dwayne, go out to this bar, and I meet this beautiful girl there,Tammi, who is already friends with Becky. I like her but she seems to be WAYYYYY outta my league. Anyway a whole bunch of us went back to her place. I ended up talking to her all night, and over time we end up together. We have EVERYTHING in common, and everythng is PERFECT. We are so great together in EVERY way. We both stopped drinking, and I even started liking myself again. Then, after we are together for 6 months....and the wife decides she wants me to come back. Now I'm confused as hell. I love this girl I'm with, but I'm married to the wife, I made this commitment, and I do still love her...I end up breaking up with Tammi...going back and forth between the two. I didn't know it was possible to love two people at once. I ended up moving in with the wife and trying things with her. Then I find out while we where split up she was sleeping with a mutual friend of ours, who was her sisters FORMER FIANCE!! After we got together this "friend" went around bragging to everyone in the places I hang out in that he screwed my wife, and tellin everyone he screwed a cops wife. The whole time I am thinking about how much I miss Tammi, and how every argument I have with the wife is one I wouldn't have with Tammi, because me and the wife have NOTHING in common anymore. I even ended up sneaking away to see Tammi. I had never cheated on anyone before....so again I'm becoming something I hate. Well, I got caught...and they are both mad at me, and I panic and beg the wife to come back and we get back together....and still I'm missing Tammi. So the night before Thanksgiving, the wife gets into my e-mail and sees an e-mail between me and Tammi and flips out giving me the boot again. I wasn't seeing or talkng to her, just e-mailed...and Tammi had just come back from Niagara Falls with her new boyfriend...we weren't going to see each other like that anymore. But the wife doesn't care about that. So the next night I go to a Jam night at a bar with my friend who is an awesome guitarist, and I'm singin there that night. I walk into the bar section to get a beer and lo and behold there is Tammi and her boyfriend sitting at the bar. I can't even look it hurts so much. Tammi comes out to the band area and asks if I'm okay and says she is sorry because she didn't know I would be there and she knows it hurts me. I tell her don't worry about it, and pretty much try to get her to go back into the bar cuz I don't wanna cause problems for her and her boyfriend. Any way she came out and talked to me again and he got pissed and broke up with her there on the spot. She was thrilled LOL. We got back together that night. We have been back together now for a while...and I wish I had never left. I am so happy know I don't know how I did it (leaving). I am so much happier, and life is great right now. I know it will bother me a little bit when I have to sign the papers...but i know where I belong now...and It's right where I am. Anyway that's why I haven't been on lately lol.

Manu
12-11-2001, 06:28 PM
WOW, that was a mouthful man :-)

PARAGRAPHS. JK

You know, like I was telling you on AIM. You tried. And you cant' do much more than try. It is great that you're happy and it is DEFINATELY great to see you around the boards again. You were even pretty scare on SN.

Let us know how the divorce process goes, and if ya ever need to chat, ya know where to find me :-)

slayr420
12-11-2001, 09:05 PM
***.

hilliehoney
12-11-2001, 09:59 PM
Hello all,
I am Hillie16's GF.
I am so very happy you are back with us. ( Me and the kids) Honey I want you to know no matter what happens I will always be here for you. We have something no one can break LOVE!!!
I love you!!
Tam

If you would like to know more about me and my family take a look at my site.

http://www.geocities.com/sweetams03_41/index/html

:D :D :D

Foul Temptress
12-11-2001, 10:31 PM
Why doesnt anyone listen to me..Just follow your heart damnit...

Wedge
12-11-2001, 10:44 PM
Originally posted by hilliehoney
Hello all,
I am Hillie16's GF.
I am so very happy you are back with us. ( Me and the kids) Honey I want you to know no matter what happens I will always be here for you. We have something no one can break LOVE!!!
I love you!!
Tam

If you would like to know more about me and my family take a look at my site.

http://www.geocities.com/sweetams03_41/index/html

:D :D :D


hilliehoney.... aww.. that's so cute... :giggles:

all I can say is I wish I had an xgf to come on here and ... oh wait nevermind.. but congrats never the less.. I think it is something about the uniform..:)

Snouter
12-11-2001, 10:49 PM
I knew you played guitar but a singer too? Where do you perform and what songs do you sing? Are you with a band and do a regular gig or just do open mic? I participated in an open mic night at a blues club a few months ago in New Haven, CT. Those are a lot of fun.

Oh yeah, I am glad things worked out in your lovelife. ;)

This song relates to all the ex's in the world.

http://www.clydeonline.com/sounds/everythingdsl.ram

Powerboss
12-12-2001, 03:08 AM
Im happy for you Hille.
Im glad you've got it all straightened out and are happy again.

I bet I've been in a few of those bars you are talking about.

tam
12-12-2001, 04:22 AM
hey hill, I was wondering where you were, dude. Good to hear it all ended up ok.

It's gonna be confusing having two tam's on this site :)

hillie16
12-12-2001, 09:49 AM
Originally posted by Powerboss
Im happy for you Hille.
Im glad you've got it all straightened out and are happy again.

I bet I've been in a few of those bars you are talking about.

Kelly's Riverside in Bridgewater is the one where all this went down. I won't go there anymore though. Now I'm usually at Mickey's in Beaver Falls, Humphrey's in Center, Anthony's in Bellvue, Edgewater Inn in Beaver Falls, and the VFW in Monaca.

Originally posted by Snouter
I knew you played guitar but a singer too? Where do you perform and what songs do you sing? Are you with a band and do a regular gig or just do open mic? I participated in an open mic night at a blues club a few months ago in New Haven, CT. Those are a lot of fun.

I used to be in a band but they split...we did mostly blues stuff. That friend of mine that is the guitarist was the guitarist in that band. I mostly do Karaoke, or sing at Jam nights, with whoever will ask me to sing with them...(or let me when I ask.) I usually do blues, or country because I have the voice for it. Lately I have been doing other stuff too, Pearl Jam with another friends band, and stuff from Train, Tonic, The Flys, Sublime, and even some Adam Sandler as a joke LOL. My favorite country songs to sing are "The Change" and "Ain't Goin Down (Til the Sun Comes Up)" and "When You Come Back to Me Again" all by Garth Brooks. My Favorite will always be blues though. I would love to get another band goin...squareycroakie isn't enough....

D Durden
12-12-2001, 10:01 AM
Happy for you, man. Dump the chaos and pick a path. It worked for me, and I hope it works for you.

Oh, and, as usual, I'm with Slayr . . . *** . . .

hillie16
12-12-2001, 10:09 AM
Originally posted by slayr420
***.

Only for you...........queer.

Powerboss
12-13-2001, 04:23 AM
Originally posted by hillie16


Kelly's Riverside in Bridgewater, Mickey's in Beaver Falls, Humphrey's in Center, , Edgewater Inn in Beaver Falls.


Yep, Yep, I think so, Yep

Shadowhawk
12-13-2001, 04:27 AM
Originally posted by Princess
Why doesnt anyone listen to me..Just follow your heart damnit...

Because 99% of the time all it does is get you ****ed over & broken hearted:mad: Dave's one of the lucky ones, and hopefully Hillie will be too.

slayr420
12-13-2001, 05:04 AM
Originally posted by hillie16
Only for you...........queer.
***.

:D

DaOgre
12-13-2001, 03:12 PM
Originally posted by hilliehoney

I love you!!
Tam
[/B]

She loves Tam?

hilliehoney
12-13-2001, 05:40 PM
Originally posted by Shadowhawk


Because 99% of the time all it does is get you ****ed over & broken hearted:mad: Dave's one of the lucky ones, and hopefully Hillie will be too.


Hillie will be lucky ask him he already is. :D LOL

I am in love with Hillie not Tam I am Tam as in Tammi. ;)

Shadowhawk
12-14-2001, 01:49 AM
LOL! Dont mind me too much Tammi. I've just been in a bit of a funk the last few days:) Largely feeling better now though.

Anyway, I hope things work out for you & Hillie as disgustingly well as they have for Dave Duden & Lisa GT:D

hilliehoney
12-14-2001, 07:38 AM
Well I hope the funk is better today. I know that feeling but it has been much better lately. :D Thanks for making me feel comfortable here. Did you get a chance to look at my site yet it has allot on it once you get past the first 2 pages.
Have a great weekend!!!!
Tam

Shadowhawk
12-15-2001, 06:16 AM
Yeah, better today to be sure. Thanks for asking too:) I got to the first page or so, but didn't see a button or link to continue beyond that. That's what happens when you web surf at 4am though, LOL!

BTW, your friend was right, you do look gawdawful young for someone who's supposed to be a 27 yr old mother of three:)

I also noticed the to spinning Yin/Yang symbols on your page... Do we have another martial artist on the board now? :D

Shadowhawk
12-15-2001, 06:29 AM
Oh and Hillie, for what it's worth... I was where you were at between my wife & my ex g/f Nina when I was seperated years back. It IS possible to love 2 people at once, but it's the most gawdawful, emotionally confusing experience around, and I pity anyone else who's gone thru it too. As it turns out for me though, the g/f was the psycho, not the wife. Can't say as I'm in paradise at the moment, but the wife's definately better than the g/f was:D

Anyway, once again, good luck to both of you, and watch out for them redheads, Hillie. I hear they can be a real handful:D LOL!

hilliehoney
12-15-2001, 01:35 PM
Originally posted by Shadowhawk


BTW, your friend was right, you do look gawdawful young for someone who's supposed to be a 27 yr old mother of three:)

I also noticed the to spinning Yin/Yang symbols on your page... Do we have another martial artist on the board now? :D


I need to thank my mother for me looking so young. She aged pretty well. I just hope when I am 40 or 50 I still can say I look and feel good.

I am not into martial arts. I wish!! I have always liked the Yin/Yang. I don't know if it means the same thing to me as it does you. To me it is like good and evil, white or black.

hilliehoney
12-15-2001, 01:43 PM
Originally posted by Shadowhawk


Anyway, once again, good luck to both of you, and watch out for them redheads, Hillie. I hear they can be a real handful:D LOL!

Thanks for the luck. We are doing so well. Hillie and I have a really good relationship. I love it. And for the redhead comment, I am naturally a dirty blonde. I hated it because people judged me so I have colored it. lol

Shadowhawk
12-15-2001, 10:58 PM
Originally posted by hilliehoney

And for the redhead comment, I am naturally a dirty blonde. I hated it because people judged me so I have colored it. lol


Artificial Intelligence! KEWL!:D:D:D j/k:)

hilliehoney
12-16-2001, 12:53 PM
Originally posted by Shadowhawk



Artificial Intelligence! KEWL!:D:D:D j/k:)

This was great!!!
LOL
Thanks for the great laugh!!!

hillie16
12-17-2001, 10:33 PM
Only problem is, right after we (wife) split I talked to my best friend about it one night, and he said he was gonna stay friends with her. I said fine, I just didn't wanna hear anything that was going on in her life, especially when she met someone else. He said, "It would be worse if it was someone you knew huh?" I said yeah I wouldn't wanna talk to that person anymore. He said " Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that." Since then he said that since I am back with Tammi,(he doesn't like her, he likes the ex wife better.) he won't speak to me anymore.....his car is at the wifes house every night. hhhhmmm was there already something going on that I didn't know about? They were already pretty touchy feely with each other over the last few months that the wife and I were together. It's like she took my marriage by leaving in the first place, then my place that I always went...I won't go into, let alone sing in that bar anymore. And now my best friend of 18 years........

Shadowhawk
12-19-2001, 03:09 PM
Yeah... To quote a favorite line of mine from Robotech: The Sentinels; "Something stinks here Commander, and it's not in the ventilation system":eek: Hopefully he just put the moves on her after the divorce. Smells pretty funky to me though :(

BTW Tammie... Missed your earlier reply about the Yin/Yang thing. That's exactly what it's supposed to represent in Taoist philosophy... Well, not just good & evil specificly:) A balance of any opposing forces that flow into & how they blend with each other. The dots symbolize that there's a little of the opposing force in always present in the other force. Taoism is largely about keeping everything in your life balanced between extremes needless to say:) A bit over-simplified, but... There's your asian mysticism lesson for the day, LOL!

Oh and Hillie. If the lady was cool enough to laugh at my blonde joke earlier, you've got a definate keeper here. Take care of her;)

hilliehoney
12-20-2001, 10:53 AM
Originally posted by Shadowhawk
BTW Tammie... Missed your earlier reply about the Yin/Yang thing. That's exactly what it's supposed to represent in Taoist philosophy... Well, not just good & evil specificly:) A balance of any opposing forces that flow into & how they blend with each other. The dots symbolize that there's a little of the opposing force in always present in the other force. Taoism is largely about keeping everything in your life balanced between extremes needless to say:) A bit over-simplified, but... There's your asian mysticism lesson for the day, LOL!

Oh and Hillie. If the lady was cool enough to laugh at my blonde joke earlier, you've got a definate keeper here. Take care of her;)

Thanks so much. I think I am a keeper. LOL :D

Rebel79
12-20-2001, 05:54 PM
Its about time you have felt right! I'm glad Hillie. From what you have kept on telling me, Tammi was the one! Good for you guys! And I bet the kids are happy now too! :)

hilliehoney
12-21-2001, 08:39 AM
Originally posted by Rebel79
Its about time you have felt right! I'm glad Hillie. From what you have kept on telling me, Tammi was the one! Good for you guys! And I bet the kids are happy now too! :)

The kids are so very happy!!! Thanks

SilverStreak
01-16-2002, 10:47 AM
At the point where you found yourself in love with Tammi, make a decision, get divorced, don't look back.

Just my 2 cents...

hillie16
01-16-2002, 11:58 AM
The papers are already signed...just waiting for the judge to sign them.

SilverStreak
01-16-2002, 12:13 PM
Good luck to you. As a child who watched his parents fight for 18 years before they got divorced, I know it ain't easy, but it's the right thing to do.

RightWingZealot
01-24-2003, 11:19 AM
wow

hillie16
01-24-2003, 11:24 AM
Well, another thread made me go back searching for this one...

It's a little over a year since I started the thread, so I'll update.


Tammi (hilliehoney) and I were engaged this past Thanksgiving. :D :D :D

Also I don't feel all that guilty anymore. The ex, I found out wasn't faithful either. The best friend that I thought was messing around with her wasn't, she filled his head with a lot of crap, telling him things about me that weren't true. So for a while she was mad at me til she was drunk one night and tried to get on him, and he flipped out and told her no. The next night she went and told a bunch of people that he tried to rape her:eek: I tried to tell him one day he would be asking me to pull a knife out if his back due to her. But he and I are all cool now.

She however was remarried right after (as in a week or two) our divorce was final, to the son of the photographer at our wedding. Not only did she do that, but she got married out of state so no one local knew about it, and kept taking alimony! As soon as I found out they hightailed it out of town, moved to Texas. Then had the balls to have her mom call and demand half of the security deposit back from the apartment!!! I refused, then they threatened to sue, so I considered it worth the money to never haveto deal with her or her damn money grubbing family again. I paid for our wedding because her dad was out of work...he got a 150K settlement from a lawsuit and guess what...not only did he not pay me back, but he charged me 300 a month to live in his house when we were first married!! All I ever was, was a paycheck to her and her family..

I am so much happier now, and there is nothing in the world better than the relationship I have with Tammi, and I could not possibly ask for a more perfect woman.

Tsi15Psi
01-31-2003, 04:07 PM
You are so lucky. The bottom line was finding someone else. You were saved by your angel. Who knows how long or how shitty you would have gotten if she had not dug you out. You are so lucky to have been pulled out. New love, it has a way of closing our eyes to everything else...especially pain.

Redfield
01-31-2003, 10:39 PM
Originally posted by hillie16
Tammi (hilliehoney) and I were engaged this past Thanksgiving. :D :D :D

I am so much happier now, and there is nothing in the world better than the relationship I have with Tammi, and I could not possibly ask for a more perfect woman.
Good stuff hillie. :) Makes me feel all mushy and stuff. :p

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