Ironweed
03-16-2003, 05:37 PM
Okay, here it is. Since I do everything bass ackwards it's in reverse chronological order.
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03/16/2003 7:29 AM
Am I a hypocrite if I think certain topics are off-limits for this journal, even if I don't post it all publicly? Only pondering this b/c it was an unspoken assumption when I first started it, and I just finished biography that goes into rather too much detail about masturbation, lobotomies, peeing into coffee cans, that sort of thing. The bio is Lost in America: A Journey With My Father, by Sherwin B. Nuland, MD. Dr. Nuland grew up in the Jewish slums of New York, back when such things still existed.
SPOILERS AHEAD, IF YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST IN READING THE BOOK MENTIONED ABOVE!!
He earned a degree in biology from NYU, was accepted at Yale Medical School, and went on to become the chief resident of his class during his final year. Apparently this is a distinction of high degree, and basically sets you apart and above your colleagues for the rest of your career. Oops, better stick some sort of "spoiler" warning in. His first generation immigrant father suffered from some form of syphilis that made his life a living hell, and ultimately killed him. That was the big revelation of the story. Dad was mean, America "didn't keep it's promises" whatever that's supposed to mean, even though Nuland got into Yale Medical School. Go figure. I could go on about what I like and disliked about the book. On balance, I thought it a worthwhile read, but the reason for the glowing reviews it received on the dust jacket escapes me. I could go on about this, but I only have so much time.
The reason this book came into my possession is that we actually saw Dr. Nuland speak at an AAUW luncheon. The wife bought several of his books, and yes, my copy is signed by the author. Had I been keeping a journal the day we saw him spoke I describe it in more detail. But I didn't, so I shall not.
END SPOILER
Anyway, something to ponder. I cannot see myself posting crap like that, no matter what. Rather like Goebbels not mentioning Baarova once in his diaries? She was certainly a hot looking chick compared to the dumpy Magda, and he apparently was actually willing to walk out on the wife and kids and even his beloved Fuehrer for her. Wonder how history would have been different if that had occurred? Oddly, I think David Irving uses this as some sort of "proof" that the Goebbels Diaries aren't a reliable source. What an idiot. Like a highly placed executive in NS Germany boinking a foreign national is going to put pen to paper about it. Especially given Hitler's oddly puritanical notions of home and family.
Eek. This is going on far too long. I may not be willing to discuss physical masturbation, but I seem willing to engage in the mental kind. I didn't go to work yesterday
03/15/2003 7:44 AM
Ah, the beauty of sleeping in on Saturday. And, yes, the novelty of this enterprise is wearing as thin as the life it describes. Oh, well. I shall be going into work this morning, not sure for how long. I have mentally set aside this day for one particular monstrous job, as daunting as it is time-consuming. Well, we shall see how that goes.
For the moment I have decided to abandon Lucretius. I'm not getting it, I'm not sure I want to get it and it's keeping me from reading things that do interest me.
Hmph, enough whining. List the particulars, go have coffee and get your tail out the door. Yesterday consisted of work, dinner out at a pseudo-Irish restauarant, where, I kid you not I had "Gaelic Steak." I drink so rarely now that the couple of beers I had have left me with that dry mouth nasty morning taste that feels like a family of rodents has set up housekeeping in my throat.
If I have a chance I need to get to the library. "Redfield" asked a quite reasonable question about Crispus Attucks -- although it may not have been directed at me, my observation prompted it -- so I need to at least make a pretense of looking, at least in my own mind. Well, at least think about trying. I just haven't had the time.
I'll also need to remember to e-mail the work based gibberish I type on an intermittent basis home. Since I have so far been able to stay off of message boards while at work.
03/14/2003 5:53 AM
Later and later each day. All it means of course, is that I've been staying up later. Ever have the CAPS LOCK key on your computer stick? Mine did for about a minute or two. And, yes, I succeeded in Day 1 of my pledge. I did not visit any message boards. Not only while at work, but also at home, too. Yay for me. I was fairly productive at work yesterday, certainly more than on Wednesday. Actually, I seem to be close to catching up with all my work, the in-box is dropping fairly quickly. Well, I'll see how well I can keep up the good work.
I read very little yesterday, only during lunch. I just cannot get through that book. But, I shall grit my teeth and persevere. I'm stubborn that way. But I must admit I have doubts about how much I’m actually learning about this philosophical system. I think I've been too long away from serious intellectual thought to ever pick it back up again. That assumes I've ever had a serious intellectual thought in my life. The older I'm getting the more I’m doubting that.
Famous diarists: Josef Goebbels, Anne Frank, Mary Chestnut, Samuel Pepys, Count Ciano, and I'll have to see if I can't remember more later. The only two I've read are Goebbels and Chestnut. I started Pepys as a book on tape and couldn't get into it, for some reason. The one entry I remember was that he attended some sort of ceremony and complained about having to really, really pee. Goebbels has been discussed to death at thephora. Chestnut annoyed me. I have very little sympathy for the Confederacy, but that wasn't it. Something about her tone was irking. Plus, I'm doubtful how authentic a document it was. I think she actually wrote large parts of it around 1900. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't really care. She was an annoying broad, I'll say that with confidence.
Speaking of annoying, I think I'll make this run-through of Darkstone the last. I was planning on playing it until I played an entire game without dying once. I think I could do it if it were a matter of life and death, but I get bored and George the Magician gets killed. Who cares? Why should I? Nobody and I shouldn't. Just because I don't have a life is no reason act like I don't have one. I also gotta do something about starting to exercise, and, SOB! going on a diet.
Here's an irony: When I'm a good little boy and do what I'm supposed to, I have less to relate in these entries. I must be at least as whiny as ol' Mary Chestnut. Okay, since I'm whining: This effing snow has got to go. I've had it. It's usually 40 degrees during the day this time of year by now. Not 25 with 10 inches of snow on the ground. We had four or five inches yesterday. Unreal!
03/13/2003 5:45 AM
Overslept and today being trash day, I must keep my entry short. Time constraints and all that. Had an absolutely horrific day at work, all of which was my fault. Therefore:
03/13/2003 5:51 AM (had to sneak off to start coffee)
I hereby pledge not to lurk at any discussion boards from now until April 15 from my work computer.
I don't want to discuss the problems I've got in this area, b/c it's frigging embarrassing. Let's just say that on certain days I spend huge chunks of my time doing non-work related crap on the Internet. Mostly (now) at DA and in the old days at TMF. When TMF went pay to post I though I'd be pushed out the door, but they've "comped" me twice for two years now. If I were some sort of investing genius, I might actually pay to post there. But, I keep to the social or "drivel" boards and wear my Gold Star with pride. It's just not very interesting. Plus, at one point in my posting career I went through a phase of being an immature jerk and doubtless I reside in the "Penalty Box" of many serious posters. Finally, the technology there is so 1997. LOL, me a tech snob. Who'd a thunk it? But, with 10,000+ posts there, the inertia holding me to the site is pretty strong.
I read absolutely nothing from Lucretius yesterday. I can't remember the last time I've so dreaded reading anything. I've read accounting textbooks with more riveting things to say. It's taking me forever to get through this stupid book. I think I loathe Epicureanism on principle now, if it attracted idiots like Lucretius.
See my spamming entries for a discussion of Darkstone. Spent an hour or so playing it last night. Must've been bored to tears, as my character died twice. And he's so powerful at this point, he only dies when I stop paying attention. Watched the vote off show on American Idol. Good grief, do I waste a lot of time doing pointless things. Possibly like keeping this journal. Well, we shall see. I'm going to have to work out some procedures to help me keep my little pledge. Off to do the trash. Oh, boy.
03/12/2003 5:39 AM
Hmph, Day 2 and my enthusiasm is already waning. I suppose if I had anything interesting to record it might be a different matter, but there you have it. Oddly, I'm getting quite a kick out of recording random garbage at work. Seem to be functioning as an escape valve for excess pressure. Let's see, I got up, got dressed, went to work, was not very productive for a 13 hour day, came home, watch two hours of utterly vacuous television (American Idol, their "Motown Night") brushed and flossed and went to bed. Lacked even the ambition to make my lunch, lay out my clothes and make sure keys, wallet, etc., were where they're supposed to be, and ain't it amazin' how those things grow legs and walk away if you don't watch 'em every minute.
On a positive note, the water in our basement has almost completely receded. What an absolute disaster that was. 2 to 3 inches of water through the entire basement. Pump it out, and as god is my witness, 2 hours later right back to where it was. The plumber we spoke to thought the water table had actually risen to a level where trying to empty it was an exercise in futility. Then he tried to sell us a new floor drain system, since the one we have empties into our yard, ultimately above the surface. Not sound like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, but I suppose I should be thankful the water wasn't high enough to hit the furnace. That would have made the house uninhabitable. Well, we'll have to do something. Doubtless it will be expensive. Supposedly the problem is with the drain that froze. It needs to be buried. Home ownership sucks.
I'm kicking around the idea of only working until 6PM on nights when I get to work by 7AM. That way I'll hopefully still have the energy to spend some time on the treadmill. I'll make up the difference by working longer on weekends.
Lucretius actually got funny, the last little bits I read in Book IV while eating my cereal yesterday AM. He certainly had some odd ideas about women and men. I doubt feminists will be in much of a rush to become Epicureans if ol' Lucretius has made a fair representation of Epicurus' doctrines. And, I think he has, since unlike the Stoics, the Epicureans were supposedly faithful to the doctrines of their founder, and used his thoughts to resolve any disputes. Sounds more like a religion than a philosophy, but there you have it. I did a search for a bio of Lucretius, and the most interesting fact I remember is that he went insane after drinking a love potion. Assuming some female slipped him a mickey, maybe he wasn't too far off in views of females as frivolous distractions. Didn't have the energy to even look at Book V. Appears to start with some god awful paean to the wonders of Epicurus, and how god-like and perfect he was. Scratch religion, this thingy is a borderline cult of personality.
Epicureans, dealing with plumbers, working long hours and losing my keys. Such are the things that compose my life. I also need to start using my planner on a regular basis. I bought the goddamn thing, carry it with me every day, open it at my desk, and let it sit there forgotten and lonely.
One other thing bugging me: I have a boss who can't answer "yes" or "no" to a rather simple question, whether its okay or not for me to contact clients. We do tax returns for very wealthy individuals, or at any rate, those with complicated returns. They never bring in all the material we need to do the return, so they need to be contacted. No way could we do it "while you wait." So, I've decided I'm going to be calling the clients directly from now on, unless I hear otherwise, or unless I know Partner X is the only one to call them. We'll see how that goes. Easier to seek forgiveness than permission with this guy.
Gotta run, don't have time to whine about the Exit sign from Hell in our office. Oh, screw it, yes I do. Damn thing is making a LOUD buzz, like alarm clock loud, apparently b/c it needs new batteries or something. Partner Y was threatening extreme violence against it when I left last night. We shall see what happened. Hopefully it's gone. It actually made my ears ring it was so loud for so long yesterday.
03/11/2003 5:38 AM
I announced I was going to start keeping a journal, so here goes. As usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short from when I said I was going to start. But, start I have and maintain it? Well, we shall see. The main thing I need to do is to figure out where I want to go with this thing. Since my life is so utterly banal, I cannot see how a daily review of my life is going to be enough to keep my own interest, never mind anyone else's. I think I'm going to try to write some entries about what I view as my own personal failings, and what I'd like to do to try to correct them. That'll hold my own interest, even if I doubt it'll hold anyone else's.
I'm currently reading "On the Nature of Things," by Lucretius. Lucretius was an ancient Roman, blah, blah, blah. (Note to self: I just realized I haven't the foggiest idea of Lucretius' life. Find out.) He was an Epicurean, or a disciple of the philosophy of Epicurus, an even more ancient Greek. "On the Nature of Things," is apparently the most complete surviving outline we have of Epicurus' philosophy. It focuses far more on Epicurus's curious idea of the physical structure of the universe, at least through Book IV, than on Epicurus's ethical system, which I’m sure I'd find much more interesting. This work is so frigging boring and confusing it puts me to sleep at least once every ten pages. Somehow, we're supposed to deduce that because atoms can "swerve" (his words, not mine) we live in a universe of infinite size, containing infinite matter and also containing infinite void. Human souls are also composed of atoms, and dissolve upon death. How from this we're supposed to derive an ethical system of quiet contemplation and withdrawal from life (Epicurus' idea of an ideal life) is utterly unknown, at least to me.
The same volume also began with some letters Epicurus himself wrote, as well as a biography by Diogenes Laeretes. Much more interesting, but unfortunately far less complete and detailed. Beyond Lucretius's sleeping pill, apparently this other stuff is all that's survived of Epicurean philosophy.
I can hardly wait to move on to Epictetus, probably the most famous Stoic. Much more of his stuff has survived, and it is written in an almost Socratic dialogue style. Should be far more enjoyable to read. If I don't need to return the book to the library by then. Good grief is it taking me a long time to get through Lucretius.
Work, work, work. 7 to 7 for me this time of year. I’m having a dickens of a time focusing this year. In fact, that's one of the thingies I'd like to work through to change via this journal. Well, we shall see. I’m dealing with a monster client right now that has me ready for a nervous breakdown. Their books are a mess, and they're not really helpful. Plus, the partner is the only one dealing with the client. I do NOT want to give these people financials, but doubtless we shall. Yick.
Oh, I'm also going to be dropping random impressions via a similar journal at work. It'll just be a sentence or two each entry. Probably just garbage, but so what? My journal, mine to turn into a toilet.
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03/16/2003 7:29 AM
Am I a hypocrite if I think certain topics are off-limits for this journal, even if I don't post it all publicly? Only pondering this b/c it was an unspoken assumption when I first started it, and I just finished biography that goes into rather too much detail about masturbation, lobotomies, peeing into coffee cans, that sort of thing. The bio is Lost in America: A Journey With My Father, by Sherwin B. Nuland, MD. Dr. Nuland grew up in the Jewish slums of New York, back when such things still existed.
SPOILERS AHEAD, IF YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST IN READING THE BOOK MENTIONED ABOVE!!
He earned a degree in biology from NYU, was accepted at Yale Medical School, and went on to become the chief resident of his class during his final year. Apparently this is a distinction of high degree, and basically sets you apart and above your colleagues for the rest of your career. Oops, better stick some sort of "spoiler" warning in. His first generation immigrant father suffered from some form of syphilis that made his life a living hell, and ultimately killed him. That was the big revelation of the story. Dad was mean, America "didn't keep it's promises" whatever that's supposed to mean, even though Nuland got into Yale Medical School. Go figure. I could go on about what I like and disliked about the book. On balance, I thought it a worthwhile read, but the reason for the glowing reviews it received on the dust jacket escapes me. I could go on about this, but I only have so much time.
The reason this book came into my possession is that we actually saw Dr. Nuland speak at an AAUW luncheon. The wife bought several of his books, and yes, my copy is signed by the author. Had I been keeping a journal the day we saw him spoke I describe it in more detail. But I didn't, so I shall not.
END SPOILER
Anyway, something to ponder. I cannot see myself posting crap like that, no matter what. Rather like Goebbels not mentioning Baarova once in his diaries? She was certainly a hot looking chick compared to the dumpy Magda, and he apparently was actually willing to walk out on the wife and kids and even his beloved Fuehrer for her. Wonder how history would have been different if that had occurred? Oddly, I think David Irving uses this as some sort of "proof" that the Goebbels Diaries aren't a reliable source. What an idiot. Like a highly placed executive in NS Germany boinking a foreign national is going to put pen to paper about it. Especially given Hitler's oddly puritanical notions of home and family.
Eek. This is going on far too long. I may not be willing to discuss physical masturbation, but I seem willing to engage in the mental kind. I didn't go to work yesterday
03/15/2003 7:44 AM
Ah, the beauty of sleeping in on Saturday. And, yes, the novelty of this enterprise is wearing as thin as the life it describes. Oh, well. I shall be going into work this morning, not sure for how long. I have mentally set aside this day for one particular monstrous job, as daunting as it is time-consuming. Well, we shall see how that goes.
For the moment I have decided to abandon Lucretius. I'm not getting it, I'm not sure I want to get it and it's keeping me from reading things that do interest me.
Hmph, enough whining. List the particulars, go have coffee and get your tail out the door. Yesterday consisted of work, dinner out at a pseudo-Irish restauarant, where, I kid you not I had "Gaelic Steak." I drink so rarely now that the couple of beers I had have left me with that dry mouth nasty morning taste that feels like a family of rodents has set up housekeeping in my throat.
If I have a chance I need to get to the library. "Redfield" asked a quite reasonable question about Crispus Attucks -- although it may not have been directed at me, my observation prompted it -- so I need to at least make a pretense of looking, at least in my own mind. Well, at least think about trying. I just haven't had the time.
I'll also need to remember to e-mail the work based gibberish I type on an intermittent basis home. Since I have so far been able to stay off of message boards while at work.
03/14/2003 5:53 AM
Later and later each day. All it means of course, is that I've been staying up later. Ever have the CAPS LOCK key on your computer stick? Mine did for about a minute or two. And, yes, I succeeded in Day 1 of my pledge. I did not visit any message boards. Not only while at work, but also at home, too. Yay for me. I was fairly productive at work yesterday, certainly more than on Wednesday. Actually, I seem to be close to catching up with all my work, the in-box is dropping fairly quickly. Well, I'll see how well I can keep up the good work.
I read very little yesterday, only during lunch. I just cannot get through that book. But, I shall grit my teeth and persevere. I'm stubborn that way. But I must admit I have doubts about how much I’m actually learning about this philosophical system. I think I've been too long away from serious intellectual thought to ever pick it back up again. That assumes I've ever had a serious intellectual thought in my life. The older I'm getting the more I’m doubting that.
Famous diarists: Josef Goebbels, Anne Frank, Mary Chestnut, Samuel Pepys, Count Ciano, and I'll have to see if I can't remember more later. The only two I've read are Goebbels and Chestnut. I started Pepys as a book on tape and couldn't get into it, for some reason. The one entry I remember was that he attended some sort of ceremony and complained about having to really, really pee. Goebbels has been discussed to death at thephora. Chestnut annoyed me. I have very little sympathy for the Confederacy, but that wasn't it. Something about her tone was irking. Plus, I'm doubtful how authentic a document it was. I think she actually wrote large parts of it around 1900. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't really care. She was an annoying broad, I'll say that with confidence.
Speaking of annoying, I think I'll make this run-through of Darkstone the last. I was planning on playing it until I played an entire game without dying once. I think I could do it if it were a matter of life and death, but I get bored and George the Magician gets killed. Who cares? Why should I? Nobody and I shouldn't. Just because I don't have a life is no reason act like I don't have one. I also gotta do something about starting to exercise, and, SOB! going on a diet.
Here's an irony: When I'm a good little boy and do what I'm supposed to, I have less to relate in these entries. I must be at least as whiny as ol' Mary Chestnut. Okay, since I'm whining: This effing snow has got to go. I've had it. It's usually 40 degrees during the day this time of year by now. Not 25 with 10 inches of snow on the ground. We had four or five inches yesterday. Unreal!
03/13/2003 5:45 AM
Overslept and today being trash day, I must keep my entry short. Time constraints and all that. Had an absolutely horrific day at work, all of which was my fault. Therefore:
03/13/2003 5:51 AM (had to sneak off to start coffee)
I hereby pledge not to lurk at any discussion boards from now until April 15 from my work computer.
I don't want to discuss the problems I've got in this area, b/c it's frigging embarrassing. Let's just say that on certain days I spend huge chunks of my time doing non-work related crap on the Internet. Mostly (now) at DA and in the old days at TMF. When TMF went pay to post I though I'd be pushed out the door, but they've "comped" me twice for two years now. If I were some sort of investing genius, I might actually pay to post there. But, I keep to the social or "drivel" boards and wear my Gold Star with pride. It's just not very interesting. Plus, at one point in my posting career I went through a phase of being an immature jerk and doubtless I reside in the "Penalty Box" of many serious posters. Finally, the technology there is so 1997. LOL, me a tech snob. Who'd a thunk it? But, with 10,000+ posts there, the inertia holding me to the site is pretty strong.
I read absolutely nothing from Lucretius yesterday. I can't remember the last time I've so dreaded reading anything. I've read accounting textbooks with more riveting things to say. It's taking me forever to get through this stupid book. I think I loathe Epicureanism on principle now, if it attracted idiots like Lucretius.
See my spamming entries for a discussion of Darkstone. Spent an hour or so playing it last night. Must've been bored to tears, as my character died twice. And he's so powerful at this point, he only dies when I stop paying attention. Watched the vote off show on American Idol. Good grief, do I waste a lot of time doing pointless things. Possibly like keeping this journal. Well, we shall see. I'm going to have to work out some procedures to help me keep my little pledge. Off to do the trash. Oh, boy.
03/12/2003 5:39 AM
Hmph, Day 2 and my enthusiasm is already waning. I suppose if I had anything interesting to record it might be a different matter, but there you have it. Oddly, I'm getting quite a kick out of recording random garbage at work. Seem to be functioning as an escape valve for excess pressure. Let's see, I got up, got dressed, went to work, was not very productive for a 13 hour day, came home, watch two hours of utterly vacuous television (American Idol, their "Motown Night") brushed and flossed and went to bed. Lacked even the ambition to make my lunch, lay out my clothes and make sure keys, wallet, etc., were where they're supposed to be, and ain't it amazin' how those things grow legs and walk away if you don't watch 'em every minute.
On a positive note, the water in our basement has almost completely receded. What an absolute disaster that was. 2 to 3 inches of water through the entire basement. Pump it out, and as god is my witness, 2 hours later right back to where it was. The plumber we spoke to thought the water table had actually risen to a level where trying to empty it was an exercise in futility. Then he tried to sell us a new floor drain system, since the one we have empties into our yard, ultimately above the surface. Not sound like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, but I suppose I should be thankful the water wasn't high enough to hit the furnace. That would have made the house uninhabitable. Well, we'll have to do something. Doubtless it will be expensive. Supposedly the problem is with the drain that froze. It needs to be buried. Home ownership sucks.
I'm kicking around the idea of only working until 6PM on nights when I get to work by 7AM. That way I'll hopefully still have the energy to spend some time on the treadmill. I'll make up the difference by working longer on weekends.
Lucretius actually got funny, the last little bits I read in Book IV while eating my cereal yesterday AM. He certainly had some odd ideas about women and men. I doubt feminists will be in much of a rush to become Epicureans if ol' Lucretius has made a fair representation of Epicurus' doctrines. And, I think he has, since unlike the Stoics, the Epicureans were supposedly faithful to the doctrines of their founder, and used his thoughts to resolve any disputes. Sounds more like a religion than a philosophy, but there you have it. I did a search for a bio of Lucretius, and the most interesting fact I remember is that he went insane after drinking a love potion. Assuming some female slipped him a mickey, maybe he wasn't too far off in views of females as frivolous distractions. Didn't have the energy to even look at Book V. Appears to start with some god awful paean to the wonders of Epicurus, and how god-like and perfect he was. Scratch religion, this thingy is a borderline cult of personality.
Epicureans, dealing with plumbers, working long hours and losing my keys. Such are the things that compose my life. I also need to start using my planner on a regular basis. I bought the goddamn thing, carry it with me every day, open it at my desk, and let it sit there forgotten and lonely.
One other thing bugging me: I have a boss who can't answer "yes" or "no" to a rather simple question, whether its okay or not for me to contact clients. We do tax returns for very wealthy individuals, or at any rate, those with complicated returns. They never bring in all the material we need to do the return, so they need to be contacted. No way could we do it "while you wait." So, I've decided I'm going to be calling the clients directly from now on, unless I hear otherwise, or unless I know Partner X is the only one to call them. We'll see how that goes. Easier to seek forgiveness than permission with this guy.
Gotta run, don't have time to whine about the Exit sign from Hell in our office. Oh, screw it, yes I do. Damn thing is making a LOUD buzz, like alarm clock loud, apparently b/c it needs new batteries or something. Partner Y was threatening extreme violence against it when I left last night. We shall see what happened. Hopefully it's gone. It actually made my ears ring it was so loud for so long yesterday.
03/11/2003 5:38 AM
I announced I was going to start keeping a journal, so here goes. As usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short from when I said I was going to start. But, start I have and maintain it? Well, we shall see. The main thing I need to do is to figure out where I want to go with this thing. Since my life is so utterly banal, I cannot see how a daily review of my life is going to be enough to keep my own interest, never mind anyone else's. I think I'm going to try to write some entries about what I view as my own personal failings, and what I'd like to do to try to correct them. That'll hold my own interest, even if I doubt it'll hold anyone else's.
I'm currently reading "On the Nature of Things," by Lucretius. Lucretius was an ancient Roman, blah, blah, blah. (Note to self: I just realized I haven't the foggiest idea of Lucretius' life. Find out.) He was an Epicurean, or a disciple of the philosophy of Epicurus, an even more ancient Greek. "On the Nature of Things," is apparently the most complete surviving outline we have of Epicurus' philosophy. It focuses far more on Epicurus's curious idea of the physical structure of the universe, at least through Book IV, than on Epicurus's ethical system, which I’m sure I'd find much more interesting. This work is so frigging boring and confusing it puts me to sleep at least once every ten pages. Somehow, we're supposed to deduce that because atoms can "swerve" (his words, not mine) we live in a universe of infinite size, containing infinite matter and also containing infinite void. Human souls are also composed of atoms, and dissolve upon death. How from this we're supposed to derive an ethical system of quiet contemplation and withdrawal from life (Epicurus' idea of an ideal life) is utterly unknown, at least to me.
The same volume also began with some letters Epicurus himself wrote, as well as a biography by Diogenes Laeretes. Much more interesting, but unfortunately far less complete and detailed. Beyond Lucretius's sleeping pill, apparently this other stuff is all that's survived of Epicurean philosophy.
I can hardly wait to move on to Epictetus, probably the most famous Stoic. Much more of his stuff has survived, and it is written in an almost Socratic dialogue style. Should be far more enjoyable to read. If I don't need to return the book to the library by then. Good grief is it taking me a long time to get through Lucretius.
Work, work, work. 7 to 7 for me this time of year. I’m having a dickens of a time focusing this year. In fact, that's one of the thingies I'd like to work through to change via this journal. Well, we shall see. I’m dealing with a monster client right now that has me ready for a nervous breakdown. Their books are a mess, and they're not really helpful. Plus, the partner is the only one dealing with the client. I do NOT want to give these people financials, but doubtless we shall. Yick.
Oh, I'm also going to be dropping random impressions via a similar journal at work. It'll just be a sentence or two each entry. Probably just garbage, but so what? My journal, mine to turn into a toilet.