I know I talk about alot of things on here but I really dont say much about my home life.

I have been going around with my father for years. It is, his way of no way. I get put in the middle alot. My fathers favorite saying it seems is.. "I will disown you" He virtually did when I broke up with my ex boyfriend. He accused me of alot of things. Anyway, this is what I need some advice on.
My sister she is 18, she likes a man who is 32. Age..well no biggie..to me..but he has been seperated for a month has children etc. To me my sister deserves way way much better. Well my parents are constantly asking me questions, as to what I know, where is she at..etc etc.. My father tells me today, 'Do something with your sister, because I am going to disown her if she keeps this up' :sigh: She lives at home still*

They seem to be making me choose..I try to talk to my sis cause I know he is going to disown her, and literally he will.

Anyway, just needed to ramble..

You're sister sounds like a smart girl . . . looking for a 32 year old an all. She obviously got the good sense in men in the family . . .

Is he seperated or divorced? If he's seperated, I'd be careful. If he's divorced with kids, so what? Is he scraping by on a janitor's salary or is he a lawyer? What's his interest in her. You're leaving a lot of the story out.

Uh, what constitutes being disowned by your father. You no longer have to slave away in his bar? You're no longer subjected to his "disownment" threats? Sounds awful.

Actually, it sounds like your father has serious control problems and needs to get it through his head that you two are getting closed to being independent.

Maybe your sister's taking the first step in breaking that control.

My parents and I hardly spoke for over a year due to a disagreement about a relationship of mine. In my opinon parents who put conditions on love don't really love you to begin with and you're better off without them. I know I am. We talk more now but there is still A LOT of tension. Those threats may work on a teenager but past that he should realize that his children aren't gonna die if he disowns you and if he does it will be his loss.

Princess,

Looking at it from a WOMAN's perspective, the only advice I could give you is to warn your sis to be very careful. I'm sure your dad won't disown her.....after all he didn't you, eh? ;)

But, I will say something about guys who "date" while still married, as he is. They tend to do it over and over. Not all of them, but many do. Your sister may be looking at this guy as a way out of the house, and he may know this. I have (unfortunatly) a lot of experience wiht men, and even some with married men. That was all BC, I might add.

I would just hate to see her get hurt, as I'm sure you would. Tell her to guard her heart, she may think she is all grown up, but trust me, she is still very young. She has a lot of her life ahead and to get involved with a man who is not even divorced yet and has more than one kid is a lot for a young girl. Not ragging on you fellas with kids......I love kids....gots loads of 'em myself, but I'm not 18. :D

As far as your dad is concerned, maybe, just maybe he is afraid for his little girls? Lots can happen in te world, as I'm sure he knows, and a daddy's instinct is to protect his girls, even though he goes about it all wrong. Not trying to justify his behavior, just offering a reason he may act so strange to you. Maybe at this age he can think of no other way to try to keep you from doing things that would harm you. Just something to think about.

Becky

like someone mentioned earlier, i also think it's a control issue. when you get to be a certain age, i think a person is entitled to a certain amount of independence just to make their own decisions and learn- like, REALLY learn from their mistakes. in my case, my parents won't really let me make big choices by myself because, well, like any parent i guess, they don't want me to get hurt. but that's the joy of it all. but in your sister's case- that's a whole new plate. i would definitely advise her to be careful; the guy's only been seperated for a month, so i bet he might be looking to her to rebound or for support or whatnot, but it's still too soon for him get involved. and the KIDS just put too much jeopardy in the situation, there's just too much caution she should take. age isn't too important (i'm 20 and i'm going out with a 28 year old), but

tell her NOT to take it too seriously, because this guy was already ready to settle down and have a family, but chances are your sister is not. but she shouldn't take it as a complete game either because i'm sure the guyis very vulnerable right now....

princess, your family is a little screwy...

Your sister is your parents responsibility/problem. You should not have to be the problem-solver. If your dad is joking about the disowning thats fine, but otherwise, he should shut up.

btw, he can be over-protective of his daughters relationships, but I am guessing that is why your sister is dating an older guy now.