does anyone actually believe in this credo ?

i don't ...

my belief is, if you have had that love of your life, and have lost it, it was better not knowing, than to have tasted true happiness and know your lifetime of not having it anymore. ignorance is bliss.

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"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

I believe that feeling something is better than nothing. The key is to use the pain to make a change in your life for the better.

'Tis

'Tis Better
To have loved and lost
Than to be shot in the face by a crossbow.


But not by much


-Opus Moreschi
www.yomomma.com (http://www.yomomma.com)

(I used to have this on my door, back when I had things posted on my door.)

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"I have no regrets. Regret only makes wrinkles." - Sophia Loren

[This message has been edited by Aphasia (edited 07-09-2001).]

I actually do agree.

It is what cosmic said. The feeling of being loved, of lvoing unconditionally is an awesome one. It is horrendous if that is lost, and it is horrible...

BUT, when you think about the fact that the love wasn't what caused you pain, or what hurt you...then the love seems even more special...

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Manu Narayan

Well, I have "loved and lost" And it sucked. I felt like cr@p for a while, and at the time I would have rather not loved at all. But it is part of life, and I learned alot from it. And I would rather look back and remember being with her, rather than being alone.

I agree, I would not have wanted to miss out on all the good times. Not always is "love" the reason it has to end. It could be many things so tis..Of course I would have rather loved..

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"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

I think its part of life and there are many lessons to be learned from it.
It sucks to lose something you once had but in the end it makes you a stronger person.

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Man — every man — is an end in himself, not the means to the ends of others. He must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life.
Ayn Rand

ive never romantically loved someone and lost before but i have had my heart broken by people whom i love and care about.it was not a good thing but the experiences and fun i had with the people while the relationship was good is irreplaceable.

Well, I personally think I would pass on the knowing....

To me it's like when someone says, "Wow, how did people back then do with out Cars, electricity, indoor plumbing (etc, etc...)" If you never knew about it, there is not that feeling that you are missing out on anything.

Yes, "love" is a wonderful feeling....but to have never known it to me would be better than having your heart shattered into pieces the size of a grain of sand....
Again, just my opinion.

BUT, obviously...I know what love, and being loved feels like....and yes, I do like it....so, yea someday I will be in another relationship...and will be married....and my second wife will thank the first one for being stupid....

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I do what ever my Rice Krispys tell me to...

Jester (tonight I will fix the name) sounds like you've really gotten over it! That is great. It must be extremely rough, I don't have a relationship of the level I can begin to compare to marriage, but it is a great thing to be able to expereince love, and without trying (and sometimes fialing) we never suceed.

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Manu Narayan

Eh, good and bad days...but yea, slowly getting over it.

The whole thing has just kind of left me EXTREAMLY gun shy. Not being a jerk, but I kind of feel bad for the next woman who tries to win my hear...man, has she got her work cut out for her....LOL

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I do what ever my Rice Krispys tell me to...

Oh, Dave....LOL

You know this is just a phase I'm going threw....@ss on my shoulders and all....lol. Yea, I know it's not that bad (or at least thats what I say), and could always be worse.... I know I have learned alot from this....some being good lessons, some still sting a bit. I know eventually I will be back to my old self and the bitterness will subside....eventually.....

Just bear with me fellas, I will be back to normal.... http://discussanything.com/Ubb/biggrin.gif

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I do what ever my Rice Krispys tell me to...

Jester . . . it's NOT THAT BAD! Trust me. One thing you have going for you now is that you KNOW what you want, and you know not to chase someone that isn't. It's not worth the time or heartache.

Look at it this way: are you going to be a pushover ever again? Nope . . . and peole who aren't pushovers ALWAYS seem to get a good girl who is willing to work at the relationship.

Hey, don't sweat it man. I learned a marriage too late, too!

Hey Jester . . . hehehehehe . . . define "normal"! LOL!

Man, let me tell you one of the COOLEST things about being what we've been through. I've met several girls that I could have asked out, and normally WOULD have even though I KNEW in the back of my mind "I'm going to ask her out, she's going to say yes, we're going to go out, and her *insert some less than desireable trait* is going to get on my nerves, and I'm going to have to suffer through breaking it off with her and blah, blah, blah". Instead of asking them out, I let it SLIDE! It's fun NOT to feel pressure. It's fun to be able to say "hell, I don't want THAT! BUH-BYE!"

Uh, no, I'd hate to see you on a building like that . . . BUT IF YOU FEEL THE NEED, I've got this old Russian rifle already sighted in. I'll make you a good deal on it!! http://discussanything.com/Ubb/wink.gif

The urge to start dating again didn't hit me till about 15 minutes after my then-wife said "I'd just much rather be with him than you . . .". It was at that point that I began thinking "you know, if she weren't here, I could be getting laid right now . . . or getting ready to go out and get laid right now . . . or sitting around THINKING about getting laid . . . or, even better, LOOKING AT PORN!" LOL!

Jester, the urge will REALLY hit you the MINUTE you find someone that could be worth your time. It's amazing how less and less important your ex becomes over time. You'll always have days where you'll catch yourself saying "now where DID I put that sniper rifle, cheese grater, and salt", but mostly you'll be thinking "I don't have time to let that ole ***** run through my head . . .".

Just be glad you don't have kids . . . you don't EVER have to see her again.

hehe....tis true, my friend...tis true.

Not that I have even really started looking to date...(though I will admit the urge is starting to come back around)...but I have seen the very same scenario your talking about....

I was in a restaurant with a buddy of mine and the waitress (20 years old talking about how much she liked to drink ect, ect) was flirting with my friend for a little bit...then she started on me pretty hard. I made the comment to my friend, something like "You bout ready to go brutha"....and she said, "you two are brothers?"....I said no, "I don't even like him that much".....well, she asked, "then why are you two eating together?"....I told her "cause I just thought he was so damn quite!"

Her eyes shot out of her head and then she said she had to go take care of something in the back....LOL....
Obviously she thought we were gay....lol....my Buddy was pretty ticked at me, but I didn't care....at first I was, maybe I'll ask for her # or something...but then the more she talked, the more I was becoming less interested.

I plan on being pretty selective on who I get involved with....I don't want to do this whole mess again....ugh, think you would hear about me on top of a building with a high caliber fire arm plugging people off....
Chris

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I do what ever my Rice Krispys tell me to...

Loving deeply and losing it is definitely one of life's little kicks in the rear. It is miserable. Finding love again is good, but sometimes, that first love never goes away. Having to deal with the fact that the one person that could make you the happiest will never be yours again. That, my friends, is the saddest fact of them all.

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Absence makes the heart grow hungry...

"This must be a new kind of love. They ought to bottle it and sell it for 'Instant Stupid'."--Steve Sherman (Paul Newman)