Personally, I think it is wrong under all circumstances due to the fact that you have made a commitment to your spouse. So, therefore you already know the answer to my your other questions.

Hurricane, do you feel there are certain circumstances where this would be OK to do?

------------------
"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

That depends - does your spouse feel the same way? If so, then why does age matter?

If your spouse doesnt care and you dont care...What the hell are you together for.

Age..I dunno..I think it matters if say a girl is very young as in 20 or so..No man in his 40's needs to be trying to rob them of there innocence..etc..

and vice versa same with woman and younger guy.. Why cant ppl find people there on age..I mean 10 yrs or so is fine..when it starts getting into diff generations then there is a problem, In my opinion..

Just my .02 cents worth.

------------------
"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

I don't think its an issue about caring. It's different strokes for different folks.

Why would a girl in her 20's allow herself to be robbed?

Age is in the mind. If you dig somebody then you dig them

Fine...Set aside age..

About caring..Diff strokes for diff folks.. Geez...Yankee...what you thinking..? http://discussanything.com/Ubb/smile.gif

You think it is ok, or natural for 2 ppl to be together, married, and sleeping around.. ? I think not! So, you are saying it is ok if it is mutual agreement? Sort of like swinging? Is it OK, if the other had no idea..?

How about if the spouse says, "I would not care if you slept with another." And you take it literally and dont tell her but yet think in your mind well She/He said I could. Is that OK.? What are your limits on this..When is it wrong, when is it right?

------------------
"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

Never said it was okay - just that there are people who do it, and it's a two way street can't have your cake and eat it to.


Or maybe you can ......


[This message has been edited by Oz (edited 07-24-2001).]

Originally posted by HURRICANEB:
MY QUESTION WHEN IS IT OK TO HAVE AN RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE? DOES IT MATTER IF THE PERSON IS OLDER OR YOUNGER THAN YOU? IS IT OK TO APPROACH OTHERS OR ONLY THOSE THAT APPROCH YOU?
ANY THOUGHTS

It is NEVER ok. It is wrong and dishonest. It shows a lack of respect for yourself, your spouse, and the person to whom you are making the advances. It should be REGRETTED.

------------------
Absence makes the heart grow hungry...

"This must be a new kind of love. They ought to bottle it and sell it for 'Instant Stupid'."--Steve Sherman (Paul Newman)

[This message has been edited by Demeter (edited 07-24-2001).]

Never a good idea . . . it breeds distrust and discontent.

Originally posted by D Durden:
Never a good idea . . . it breeds distrust and discontent.


The Master Has Spoken!

------------------
"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-Joseph Addison

Its ok as long as you bring a hot young little number (girl) into the bed with you and your wife and the wife digs it. http://discussanything.com/Ubb/wink.gif Got to go, something just came up!

------------------
Winner of the "peoples Choice award" for supreme advocate for the people!

I'm not "always right", it just seems that way

Spelling is for kids! I think you got the point!

Trust - it's a terrible thing to waste.

MY QUESTION WHEN IS IT OK TO HAVE AN RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE? DOES IT MATTER IF THE PERSON IS OLDER OR YOUNGER THAN YOU? IS IT OK TO APPROACH OTHERS OR ONLY THOSE THAT APPROCH YOU?
ANY THOUGHTS

hold on people, its not just black and white...many grays here, as I will point out.

1. any kids?
2. are you and your spouse "swingers"
3. Thinking of a three-way?
4. Older than you? If it turns you on.
5.Younger than you? If its legal.
6. Why are you approaching others for sex? If your spouse cant give you what you need, leave and go elsewhere.
7. If others are approching you, You must be too good looking to get married.

Originally posted by Oz:
I don't think its an issue about caring. It's different strokes for different folks.

Why would a girl in her 20's allow herself to be robbed?

Age is in the mind. If you dig somebody then you dig them

Agreed!


------------------
"Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes in every waking moment of their lives to remind them that the lie of their inferiority is accepted as truth in the society dominating them"
Martin Luther King Jr.
"You cannot separate peace from freedom, because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom" -Malcom X

WHERE DOES BEING HAPPY COME INTO PLAY, WHY MUST WE ALWAYS CARE ABOUT OTHERS AND PUT OUR HAPPYNESS BEHIND THE HAPPYNESS OF OTHERS?

If you knowingly do something that you know is going to hurt those closest to you, your feelings should not even be considered. Self-indulgence is often selfish. It all comes back to lack of respect.

------------------
Absence makes the heart grow hungry...

"This must be a new kind of love. They ought to bottle it and sell it for 'Instant Stupid'."--Steve Sherman (Paul Newman)

Heather . . . hehehehe . . . call me "master" all you like . . . http://discussanything.com/Ubb/biggrin.gif

Okay, I was sorta' limited on the scope of this question. IF you're asking if it's okay to fool around on your significant other, then the answer is no. Actually, it's hell no with divorce payments on top! LOL!

However, if your girl is curious about what it would be like for you, her, and her 18 year old aerobics instructor bi-sexual twin sister with no gag-reflex to attempt to break the Guiness Book of World Record's listing on most orgasms over a 6 hour span, uh, go for it! Hey, if you won't do it, call ME!

All I'll say is this . . . if your GIRL wants to try another guy (with or without you), be careful. There's ALWAYS a comparison, and you'll end up not having a relationship with your girl but instead competing with the other guy. Men just don't seem to have the "sharing" nature like many women do.

However, on a more conservative level, I still think that things work out best when there's one man with one wife . . . and 23 concubines! LOL! Seriously, though, for many people sex is a bond linking the two together. It's the first cement that keeps a new couple together many times.

And sexual bonding is VERY important in a relationship. I take bondage VERY seriously, and without it, sex means nothing . . . uh, sorry, I MEANT to say bonding, and not bondage . . . seriously . .. I mean it guys! That's what I MEANT to say . . . I was commenting on the bonds of love (which I keep in the third drawer of my *censored by moderator* right beside the manual egg beater and the purple peacock plume).

With regards to age, well, how exactly does that enter into it? Basically, guys are opportunistic with regards to sex i.e. if we find it attractive and she'll be still long enough, we'll jump it! I mean, I'm not out for cruising the junior highs, but I think once a girl is past 20, she's fair game for an "older" guy (29+).

As for girls, crap, if you're a hot girl, you can have sex when and with whom you like. It's not a matter of "gee, I'm 19, 6'0", 115 pounds, 36"x22"34", and my name is ***** Galore (of the James Bond fame!) . . . gee, I wonder if I can find some guy to have sex with . . .". You can, I assure you, in a plethora of ages, shapes, and socio-economic classes. You just need to figure out what combination of traits tickles your fancy the most.

Originally posted by D Durden:
And sexual bonding is VERY important in a relationship. I take bondage VERY seriously, and without it, sex means nothing . . . uh, sorry, I MEANT to say bonding, and not bondage . . . seriously . .. I mean it guys! That's what I MEANT to say . . . I was commenting on the bonds of love (which I keep in the third drawer of my *censored by moderator* right beside the manual egg beater and the purple peacock plume).

You have got to be the biggest dork I've had the pleasure of knowing in my entire life.

Yeah Slayr, I love you, too man! http://discussanything.com/Ubb/wink.gif

WHERE DOES BEING HAPPY COME INTO PLAY, WHY MUST WE ALWAYS CARE ABOUT OTHERS AND PUT OUR HAPPYNESS BEHIND THE HAPPYNESS OF OTHERS?

Well, I guess most people are not as selfish and narcissistic as you....and it's not necessarily putting others happiness in front of yours, but generally when you go into a MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP, you don't mind making sacrifices to keep the others you (supposedly) love happy...

I'm gonna drop out of this post...I see it ticking me off pretty good....

------------------
I do what ever my Rice Krispys tell me to...

[This message has been edited by Je$ter (edited 07-30-2001).]

I guess, it may depend on what his definition of a "relationship" is too...

I may be reading TOO far into this...if so, I apologize...

------------------
I do what ever my Rice Krispys tell me to...

Jester, I think what Hur MIGHT be saying is that a relationship CAN'T be based off of sacrifice. I mean, you can sacrifice till you're blue in the face, but, unless you're getting your emotional tank re-filled, you can't maintain it.

There's no reason to even HAVE a relationship unless there is happiness being provided to both people. Making little efforts here and there for a common good is one thing, but droppoing any future possibility of joy just to indulge your partner is quite another.

Neh . . . I just think we all have different things we look for in a relationship. The PROBLEM arises when the person can only provide part of what you need. Even worse, they can provide a LITTLE of what you need and a LOT of what you WANT. That can wreck a person FAST.