Is it possible to be completely hollowed out inside? I mean, how do you know when you simplely have nothing left to feel? I thought I had hit that wall of nothing several times, but eveytime there was something more to eat away at what little was left inside. So where does emptiness end and I begin? Where does this hollowness lose it grip and it's teeth no longer knaw and I can feel me again? I have grown weary of constanly carring it's heavy burrond of nothing around. It strains itself to make sure I feel it with everything I do, it's fingers touch the keyboard now... Those pieces of me ripped out and sold feel lost so long ago... and this invisible beast adds to the stock with ruthless determination. Those moments I felt like I had turned the tide and bottled him never come too often... just long enough to tease me at what life should be. I can see past the dark yet this black holds me like a chain and chaffes my heels... I know myself and I have my moments of pleasure... but all are lacking... The key ingrediant missing and the blank shroud covers what I do and never lets me get close enough to feel... I long for feeling... I crave it's warmth... those hours of heat fade to quickly to cold and the frigid hand of my old compaion is upon my shoulder again... loss of faith is one thing, but loss of ones self is another... the consumtion of all... a crack that destroys the oragin of love grows to a hole that consumes the whole... it takes one in sections as it falls deeper into the soul... A darkening cloud replaces and the light dims... warmth to steel grey skys and hope to jaded nites... losing oneself to the nite... NothingMan, you've become a number... you're eyes as they were are lost to the world...


I am not usually like this. I just have for so long felt so empty, I am losing my ability to deal with it. I used to be so strong, so unyielding, such an *******... I'm glad I've seen myself from the other side, but I did want to feeling like destryoing myself was an answer. Although I am quite a happy person... this hole inside grows... I guess a destroyed heart can be one's downfall... or their means to rise above it all... I guess we'll see where this leads me... even with feelings still burning so unwaveringly... hope, yes I still hvae it, I clinge to it... I can still smile at that which burns and I can still shead tears for her happiness

John (trust me I'll be fine, I just want what I cannot have... I just long for what I know is so special...)

Now to bed for class early tomorrow.

Hey man, I feel for you.
Is there anything in particular that is causing this?

The best way for me to get out of a funk like that is to find something to be active with, preferably around other people. Are you involved in any activities at school? Try working in the community or something, join a club, work out something.

In my experience, if you ignore slumps like this they just get worse. Find an accomplishable goal to work towards. Feel free to vent your frustrations in a journal or online here.

Man I thought you were writing poetry at first there..:D

I agree with what Jay said, it's helpful to keep yourself busy when you feel like this.

I believe feelings like this are normally caused by something, something people aren't always willing to divulge. I've been there, it sucks, the best remedy seems to be just finding somebody to talk to about it..:shrug:

I know exactly what is causing this and all, I am active enough, looking for a few more things to join around here though. Cause even when I am out with my really good friends I feel it. It permeates everything I do, and yet I am still a very happy person. I dunno, I guess we'll see how this whole thing works out. Thanx, everybody.

John

I hope that things turn out well for you. Try to fix it if you can. Letting yourself stay down like that can only be detrimental.