Here's just some stuff about me. In case you were wondering. I'll add to it as necessary, but for now, here's this:

My life consists mostly of the vicarious experiences I have lived through bearing witness to others' events. I have known love and loss more than almost any other my age because of all those around me that have known it. They feel it, they experience it, and I am there with them. I am the one they go to when they fall in love. I am the one that helps them face their fears and be able to say that they are in love. They tell me before they tell the ones they're in love with. And through this I have known love. Then, often these very same people come to me when they have problems. They come to me with their concerns, looking for me to tell them if it's a problem. They come to me with their problems, looking to me for a solution. Though this I have known the woes of love. Often, the solution I give, when I can give a solution, is not the one that ends in a fairy tale ending. I have caused the dissolusion of many a relationship, but it was never my doing. I merely bore witness to it and helped them find their own path. And through this I have known loss.

I have known joy and happiness, as well as sadness and dispair. When a friend is in trouble, I am often the one that is notified. I have driven a friend to the hospital for the birth of his child. I have been called upon to protect, and in some instances intercede, for others when their relationships or friendships are threatened. I have been witness to more events in my life than I have had events in my life. I have a plethora of memories I can call up from experiences I have had, and yet, with all of this, the experiences I have to draw from are not my own.

But this is the life I have been given. It is the life I lead, and it is the life I shall lead for the remainder of it. I am destined to be a watcher. It is both my calling and my curse. I know I am not alone in this, there are other watchers. But my empathy sets me apart from some, I believe. I have talked with friends about their woes, and felt their tears roll down my cheeks. I have felt their loss, and I have felt their joy. I can almost call their experiences my own, but they are not my own. This is the curse of the watcher. To have knowledge of so many things, and to have personally been through so few.

So for those of you who are in my life, part of my life, and have given me events which I may call my own, know that you have given me a gift greater than any pocketbook could ever match, greater than any box could ever contain, better than any words could ever express. You have given me experiences to draw from which I may call my own. And for that I am eternally indebted to you.

Thank you Stage, I'm glad you shared that.

You know, I was alwayz kind of both, the doer (and doee) and the watcher as well and spent many years feeling somewhat like an alien who was not part of the world I watched.

That detached feeling passes with age I think. Experiences will overwhelm and awe you and I suspect you will find yourself feeling more and more a part of, than a watcher of, in time.

:)

You do sound like you make a lovely friend. I think your friends are quite blessed.

spab

to be a watcher is indeed a calling - a blessing - and a curse. I've always found it so myself, and much of my life, i've been a watcher myself. There's a very real danger involved, though, and i think it bears commenting here, but first ...

what are the characteristics of a watcher? What do we/they have as a part of their character, their soul, that everyone else doesn't? These being my observations, feel free to disagree, but ..

First, we're empathic. Not in the sense of saying "yeah, i feel your pain, man" but really being able to take their pain in, to some degree - often a strong degree. Thus, we can experience the pain without ever sustaining the wounds.
Second, we're careful - we know what pain is, so we try not to cause it. We listen. We tend to share our own burdens less, and only to those we know and trust. Often, we have different faces for different people, different levels of trust.
Third - along with this, we're easily hurt personally - i may never trust you, but if/when i do, i give you the power to hurt me. Thus we don't trust too many people.
- other things, too we're often very intelligent, as we watch people and then have to be able to compute their reactions, to really Understand. We're careful with what we say. We often identify other watchers and then watch them watching others, watching us. We may be crazy, but we calculate.

This is the danger, i think, in the sense that one can get so used to experiencing life through another person - i call it the 'third person' - that it never seems -quite- real when we finally stumble upon it ourselves. it can seem like we're always seeing life through a window.

The solution? keep trying to see life in sharp edges - don't rely on others, live our own life first, all that - in the end, i think, it's more important to be -living- than watching - not that one must stop watching to live, but that to truly live to the full, we have to be able to do both. We're missing something either way. ..

And so it is that we come down to it - you say it's your destiny to be a watcher. yes. very few are given the gift, the ability. but it would be the wrong thing to limit yourself to watching.

this is my opinion, my take on it all.......

as I said, this brought tears to my eyes.
you are a most unique person... and a wonderful friend. Thank you for being there, for being you, Zach... the watcher. To your calling I will urge you on, in light of your blessing I will congratulate and share in your happiness, through the cursed times I will help you and be there. always....
your friend
Meredith

Originally posted by salach leine
as I said, this brought tears to my eyes.
you are a most unique person... and a wonderful friend. Thank you for being there, for being you, Zach... the watcher. To your calling I will urge you on, in light of your blessing I will congratulate and share in your happiness, through the cursed times I will help you and be there. always....
your friend
Meredith
U said it prefect! SM ur amazing and i hope U stay this opened minded and wonderful forever!

Well Z, while I share you fate to be a watcher, I know that I have given you plenty ov experiances. The biggest danger is that when we're in the moment sometimes we observe ourselve (for me in slow motion) in which our reactions are not as well thought out, because it does not seem reall, it took me a long time to manage to keep myself in the moment, and not to step out an observe.

Originally posted by timeflight
- other things, too we're often very intelligent, as we watch people and then have to be able to compute their reactions, to really Understand. We're careful with what we say. We often identify other watchers and then watch them watching others, watching us.

And so it is that we come down to it - you say it's your destiny to be a watcher. yes. very few are given the gift, the ability. but it would be the wrong thing to limit yourself to watching.

And yet the best "watcher" is the same guy who watches the admins, fellow super mods, and dl's here. He's good, just got to find out who I'm talking about. He'll listen to what ever you(SM) have to say and come up with all the right things to say. Some how like you would those who you must condescend to(if you want to call it that).

And I also think what you learn from others you should apply to yourself. With all the "wisdom" that you seem to have gathered, you should now, not only be prepared to handle life's perils, but handle them with more then the usual ease(seeing that you have experienced them before[albeit vicariously]).


this is my opinion, my take on it all.......

I'm not being mean, but as I read this, I couldn't help but to think it sounded like a horoscope. Good stuff man. :nice:

Originally posted by SpabSFW
I think your friends are quite blessed.


ya got that right. ;)

Nice post man. i have always been a doer myself but have taken to the watching thing more and more as I got a little older, and alot more after I got hurt. I am starting to feel your side of things over the last year or so. Good to see there are people around who will be nice people and are there for their friends as i try to be there for mine.

lol, didn't mean to sound condescending (or like a horoscope?)
SM does far more in here than i would be able to, and he's an awesome friend.
i guess i have this tendency to sort of step out of the moment myself, and suddenly i find myself *watching* myself do things, and i realize i'm not living, at all. i'm just faking it so i can study people.
i do tend to wax poetic/horoscopish?, forgive me ;)
my point is, i think that it's a gift to be a watcher, yes - but then it's easy to forget to live - or sometimes, to think that you can -only- be a watcher? *shrug*

i think that's it, take care all

~timeflight

Zach man, you've been there for me more times than I can count. You were there to listen to all of the trials and tribulations my relationship with Karen faced, and most of your advice worked very well. You've helped me get through some tough times... some you knew about, some I was going through inside and didn't express; but you always helped in one way or another, whether with advice, support, or just being there to chill with. Thank you Zach, it is myself and the rest of your friends who are indebted to you my friend. You f**kin' rock man!! Just know that we're all here for you, just as you've been there for us. At least I am, don't ever forget it. Thank you "GN" :jk: :nice:

Originally posted by SpabSFW


You do sound like you make a lovely friend. I think your friends are quite blessed.

spab


We definitely are blessed :)

Wow...im sorry I didn't get to this sooner. I had heard about this thread, but i didnt know where to look.

All I have to say is thank you. While we dont personally know each other (yet, anyway), I have to thank you from every other human being in existence, watcher or no. The fact that there are people capable of what you are gifted/cursed with is the main reason why i still have hope in humanity.
While I can say that I share this trait to a certain degree, I also must admit that it is nowhere near perfect. My fear to connect with others has gotten in the way of many close bonds, and i congradulate you on being able to be open and honest. Everything that I have heard about you is good, and I know that you would be a very valuable friend.
So, once again, thank you from me...from all the other watchers out there...and from every person you meet that cannot say thank you themselves.

Good luck in everything, peace and love always,

Ben

So for those of you who are in my life, part of my life, and have given me events which I may call my own, know that you have given me a gift greater than any pocketbook could ever match, greater than any box could ever contain, better than any words could ever express. You have given me experiences to draw from which I may call my own. And for that I am eternally indebted to you.


<3

you are blessed with a great gift that at times becomes a great burden. Everyone whose life youve touched (though many may not know or wont admit) are blessed in some way. Though our converstations are fleeting and not really that deep and profound I feel as though I can talk to you whenever the need arises. I thank you for that and hope to finally meet you in real life (mebbe the next time im in socal).
Blessed Be,
Illi

I'm both, but Zach, thank you for being my watcher. I need one sometimes, to keep me out of trouble, cause lord only knows I get in enough of it. I love you man.

Here's herself and me after 44 years of marriage.

http://moregleny.com/thetoners

She's from a small Irish village, Lucan, Co. Dublin. I picked her up in a dance hall in Dublin on my first layover when I was a pilot with Aer Lingus, 1958.

http://airlines.afriqonline.com/images/px5112.jpg

She lived with her large family in a 4 room home with an outhouse. I arranged dates by mail. I only saw her about 6 times when I got laid off. I proposed by mail, sent her a one way ticket, and we married. She was a virgin.

That's the way to go. Never mind this nonsense of living together then marrying. Almost 40% of American marriages today end in divorce after a few years.

This is a national catastropy IMO. Broken families, children raised apart from their parents, etc.. bad stuff. I would like to see us go back to go back to the 1950's, but of course that's impossible.

Sad, very sad.

say what huh?

oh yeah, Zach.

If my problems cause you problems, I am sorry, and will keep them to myself. However, if you seem to like them, I might as well keep them coming, lord knows that my world is ever evolving.

So, I opened this thread up again with a little bit more to say about me.

My primary concern is and will continue to be my own best interests. I only care about others insofar as their well being affects my own state of existence.

This in no way makes me different from anyone else, really, I just happen to be a lot more open about it.

Do I like you? Not necessarily. What I like is the way I feel around you, and the state of being that you can help induce in me by your presence in my life. I like who I am around you, which translates to, roughly, me liking you.

This also includes potential affects, so I may like a person because I believe that he/she will have a positive affect on my life even though I have no proof of this at the outset. Again, it returns to the question of how will I feel, act, behave, etc. with your influence in my life. If I believe that you will help me become what I perceive to be a better person, then I will want you in my life.

Now, if you really stop to think about it, almost everything that you do probably has the same self-serving interest at its core. The things you do and people you associate with are, at their basest level, benefiting you, the action-taker in some way, shape, or form.

There is no such thing as a truly selfless act.

There is no such thing as a truly selfless act.

I don't know about that, particularly in regard to parents toward their children.

Monster, I admire your openness...well said too :D

I don't know about that, particularly in regard to parents toward their children.

Propagation of family line, indirect self interest in that you are protecting your progeny so that they can have a chance to pass on the family genes.

Monster - You are quite the honest man. Tell us more about yourself.

I pretty much knew you'd say that, Xach, but had to put it out there anyway. So maybe I shouldn't bring up Mother Teresa either, huh?

Monster - You are quite the honest man. Tell us more about yourself.

Funny story about that. I was actually told once that I "tell too much truth."

I have heard of women complaining about men not being honest, but that was the first time that I'd encountered a girl telling me that I was being too honest.

:shrug:

You're right - that is rather strange! :eek:

Yeah...

Reason #4,821,976 why I don't date actresses anymore.