Hello All...
Well... if you have ever talked to Wedge4876 about his relationship problems then you already know me. This is his ex. Yeah... the one you all seem to hate. All I have to say about that is that I just want to be his friend. We were together for a few years and then we seperated for about 1 year. After alot of things went wrong in our lives we turned to each other and tried to have a relationship again. Now he is back with the girl I seperated him from and I am trying to figure out what I want in life. I know that I love him but I just want to be friends. Is that so wrong? I am not playing games with him. He is the only person that I can see me spending my future with but right now is not the time for us. So what do I do?

two words....

Holy Shit

but I can't wait to see what durden says about this..

humm, my advise would be to move on. But I also want to see what Durden says.

Help us, Oobie Durden Kanoobi, you're our only hope!

It's going to suck if he comes in here and only postes like 4 words.. come on atleast make it a page or two..

btw.. we have avatars now?? sweet, time to go looking for one..:D

So... I should move on.... is that it? Its really not that easy. He is really hard to get over and obviously so am I cause he was on here talking about me for a while now. But he is with his new woman.... :(

Alan's words of today is... "girls are confusing"

maybe that's why they are so interesting..

I don't get this, you come on this board that I am on.. call yourself "exstillinlove" and ask what to do about me? hmm.. let's remember something.. YOU MOVED ON.. do you not remember that few months ago?? you dumped me for the first guy that paid you any attention.. and I am not even going to tell all the stangers on here, that he looked like an F'n ricer.. I am sorry you ain't getting me back, I don't even think you want me back.. so what's the deal? Friends? ok you got it.. what's the problem now?? why is it always you want what you can't have.. I don't have the problem with you, even though I should, I know people screw up from time to time, but we all do.. maybe I should just stay out of this conversation and let them convince you to move on.. or whatever they decide to do..

Okay, okay, bear with me . . . I've been fighting pnemonia with my son the last 3 days, and the force has been about tapped out.

First (Ex), you need to figure out WHY you want to be friends. Do you actually see yourself and Wedge hanging out with the new/old girlfriend at the mall? Is she going to accept you and never be suspicious of your intentions?

I can think of only 3 reasons you want to be "friends": you either feel guilty about something you did or you want him back or are jealous that he has another girl. And, obviously, NONE of those three reasons are reason enough to stick around.

Basically, this is how I undersand things. Wedge was with a chick and you broke them up. Then you guys broke up. Now he's back with her (now, why she took Wedge back is another thread ENTIRELY!), and you want to get a foot back in the door. Why?

Life IS hard, and sometimes it's tough to move on. Well, so be it. What you have to figure out is whether it's easier to pull the knife out or let it sit in your back and get all infected. What's less painful in the long run.

Look, you guys tried, and it didn't work. You even took him away from another girl, and it still didn't work. MOVE ON! I seriously doubt you want to be friends. I'm betting either your ego, pride, or womanhood has been hurt, and that's why you want to get back into the picture. That's really selfish. Grow with the changes and MOVE ON.

see I told you he was smart.. : )


btw.. sorry to hear about your kid

Listen,
you know that we will never end whatever it is that we have.
I am not asking you to be with me... you know that ... I told you that last night. I don't want to come in between you and her. But see you are not helping either by telling me that you still love me too. PLUS... you told me to come look at this site. What the F is your problem? Everything was fine 5 minutes ago and now you are acting like this. I really don't understand you. Yeah... I want to be friends. What is wrong with that?
And as far as David goes... what can you say? You can talk all day long about the guy that I hooked up with but look who you ran back to. All you do is complain to me about her.... what she looks like... what she says... what she does... I NEVER complained about David... so at least I went after something that I really wanted. Yeah she treats you good... but you have said so many times that the only reason you are with her is because you can't be with me... SO.... now what?

ok I knew this was going to end up like this..

let me just start by saying your peicing things together out of context to form your beliefs.. ok yeah, me and kaley ain't perfect, we are a lot better than me and you were.. atleast we get along.. and you say I ran back to her.. well listen I had a choice.. either be F'ed on by you or go after someone that isn't going to leave me.. guess which one I chose

see now you the real you gets out.. this is who you are.. all mad and jealous because you can't have it your way.. your way is me miserable about you and you hanging over every guy that comes your way..

yeah we can put on our mask while we talk and become friends but the shit between us is still there.. you haven't done anything to correct or fix the things you did wrong before you dumped me.. we can't be friends till then..

so why is it you want to be my friend now? you still have yet to answer that question..

I knew this was going to happen..

Um this is getting a bit personal....

I find it funny you guys are duking it out here instead of in person or on the phone. :-)

But hey, thats what we're here for, referees. ;-)

You guys both have me very confused...cause I don't knwo who is telling the real on the situation.

Dave hit the head on the nail (I know) again.

WHY do you want to be friends? I have never truly wanted to be friends with an ex...cause either she just pissed me off, or she broke up with me and I moved on...

If you guys are seeing other people and have not moved on from one another, maybe you need to reevaluate where you are in life.

The thread is open..

Had a tech difficulty..basically I am learning this new system.. and Got a lil finger punching happy.. :D

yeah I think your just jealous.. oh wait, my name isn't chris.. :D

Originally posted by Wedge4876
yeah I think your just jealous.. oh wait, my name isn't chris.. :D

Chris ...Chris Who?

Alan,
If you are reading this call me at home please!

Don't call her man! :D :D :D

Hey wait . . . you're not Chris but I AM Dave . . . .


Hmmmmmmmm :D

actually I didn't call her, she called me..

sometimes I am just too good.. :D

haha.

You gusy are out of your legue with heather...you need to be named Chris.

Originally posted by Manu
haha.

You gusy are out of your legue with heather...you need to be named Chris.

/Momentary memory lapse...I suppose..Once again I ask..Chris who??

Originally posted by Princess


/Momentary memory lapse...I suppose..Once again I ask..Chris who??

either..
a. she doen't want to talk about chris
..or..
b. she is over all chris


or c. I could be way off.. :)

Originally posted by Wedge4876


either..
a. she doen't want to talk about chris
..or..
b. she is over all chris


or c. I could be way off.. :)

You forgot All of the above...

Hmmm.... yeah. Think I'll just leave this subject alone. I'd have WAYYYY to much to say and none of it nice...

Originally posted by Brian
Hmmm.... yeah. Think I'll just leave this subject alone. I'd have WAYYYY to much to say and none of it nice...

Oh come on now..Enlighten us!

Originally posted by Brian
Hmmm.... yeah. Think I'll just leave this subject alone. I'd have WAYYYY to much to say and none of it nice...

are you talking about the orginal post.. or the whole chris thing? :)

The whole freaking thing!!!!

I shouldn't have even posted what I did because it insinuated that I have something to say about this whole mess (which I do as a good friend of mine is going thru this right now).

Originally posted by Brian
The whole freaking thing!!!!

I shouldn't have even posted what I did because it insinuated that I have something to say about this whole mess (which I do as a good friend of mine is going thru this right now).

Easy now...

I think everyone has a few things they would like to say here..

As for as the Chris thing that is a long time joke..that entertains us..few..into it..

True. I mean posting you had something to say but you werent..yes insinuates you do in fact have something to say..

Spit it out, or Dont... You have 2 choices.

Originally posted by Princess
Spit it out, or Dont... You have 2 choices.

yeah quit teasing us..

Alrighty. But, you're going to have to wait. At work now and I have a whole bunch to type.

Just remember, you want to hear it...

Originally posted by Princess

Spit it out, or Dont... You have 2 choices.



DON'T!!!!!!

oh wait...wrong thread sorry....

Originally posted by hillie16




DON'T!!!!!!

oh wait...wrong thread sorry....

What think you were in the everything forum? :P

hey... ok.... so all of you are telling him not to call me and to let it all go... but yet he needs to come out and tell the truth. I wrote a really long email to him explaining myself in every way and he turns around and asks me to spend time with him tomorrow night. So... who is confused here. I just want friendship and I don't think there is anything wrong with being friends with an ex. I am friends with most of my ex boyfriends. So... what now?

If he wants to be your friend, he'll make that clear. If he wants to bang you, he just might ask you to come over at night. Makes sense?

Whatever it is, get over it. To be quite honest, it all sounds rather petty.

I seriously doubt either of you know what you want. Which isn't an insult, all of us wander around aimlessly testing different waters. The only difference is we don't usually go back for a swim in water infested with piranas... not to mention, THE SAME BODY OF WATER INFESTED WITH PIRANAS.

Oh well... I'm a little feisty after having no internet for over 24 hours. :) (cable service down)

Cristina-

before she tells everyone on here.. I guess I will go ahead and say it.. yeah I went to see her.. it's a long story, but to make it short, we kept it just friends, even though it felt weird, we still had one the best times we ever did, laughing getting along like somehow our personalities clicked really well.. so well, I didn't want it to end.. she can add more if she likes.. but I am happy.. I tried my best to make her happy too.. anyways, i await my punishment now..

Bah, I'll skip the cute remarks...

No punishment from me. If you can keep it friends, it might make everything easier over time. Just don't let foolish sentimentality talk you into doing something you may regret in the future. Easier said than done to be sure, but...

Well whatever happens from here, just be VERY sure of your choices. I'll leave my 2 cents at that... :confused:

yeah I know I say it's different everytime we get back together, but this time it feels like we aren't all emotional and like.. I am sorry for hurting you blah blah blah.. I won't do it again.. blah blah blah.. we are pretty open with each other.. just keeping it at friendship will be difficult, but easier for her than me.. I guess we have plenty of time to be serious later, even if not with each other, this is suppose to the fun time of our lifes.. no worries right?? thanks for the two cents.. i think she will probably write in the mourning.. or maybe tonight..

So.... now.... was that so bad? I really had a great time and so did he. Friends... yeah... maybe a little more than... but not out of control. He was so cool to hang out with. I loved it. I just don't want a relationship with anyone right now... but I do know that I want to hang out with him as much as possible.

Originally posted by Wedge4876
before she tells everyone on here.. I guess I will go ahead and say it.. yeah I went to see her.. it's a long story, but to make it short, we kept it just friends, even though it felt weird, we still had one the best times we ever did, laughing getting along like somehow our personalities clicked really well.. so well, I didn't want it to end.. she can add more if she likes.. but I am happy.. I tried my best to make her happy too.. anyways, i await my punishment now..

Heed my warnings..Its not going to work..Been there Done that..Hell even made a thread about it..

Of course everything is great..but as long as one has stronger feelings for the other, it is never going to work..

It goes like this..You stay around, for hope she will want you back..She stays around..b.c you are a back up for her..in case she decides she wants you back or doesnt come across anyone better..

Harsh but true..

I know and trust me..

maybe it's me.. but if we are both cool with friends.. with some feelings or emotions, then what's the big deal.. deep down I want more.. but not now.. trust has to be rebuilt.. what I want is for never got as bad as it did.. but I can't change that now.. just one day at a time..

we have agreed that we do have these days where we can out and have a lot (two words:)) of fun together..

Yeah ... ALOT of fun. I will never agree with that :) . Maybe one day ... right?

Do as you wish, I was told on this board before that what I was doing would never work..Friends, etc..with your ex..

Then they got to say TOLD YOU SO!

If you can do it..Hell, I am happy for you.. :)

Originally posted by ExStillinlove
Yeah ... ALOT of fun. I will never agree with that :) . Maybe one day ... right?


did anyone else think alot was one word??

All I know is that if we used the word ALOT in our english papers, we got an automatic "F" take that how you want it..

Originally posted by Princess
All I know is that if we used the word ALOT in our english papers, we got an automatic "F" take that how you want it..

that's my goal in life.. to put "alot" in the dictionary..

that's a pretty strict teacher.. you must be smart then.. : )

Due to technical complications, I could not post earlier.

A few things:
1. Alot is a word, but at other times you must use 'a lot'
2. Some people experiece many 'love/hate' relationships. This may not be one, but it is close. I would not advise a friendship, no offense, but it is like saving the person 'just in case.' I would be honest- and tell them if they are a bootycall, a one nighter, or around if the current relationship did not work.
3. Wedge, if you value the current girlfriend, be aware that this can cause problems...it has before.

I may be an *******, but I am also being honest.

Okay, wasn't able to post over the weekend due to ISP issues at home.

Now then, Wedge, your Ex wrote this:

"After alot of things went wrong in our lives we turned to each other and tried to have a relationship again. Now he is back with the girl I seperated him from and I am trying to figure out what I want in life. I know that I love him but I just want to be friends. Is that so wrong?

So, she broke you and your current g/f up once before. Not cool. I don't know too many girls who, like your current g/f, would have given you a second chance. That said, why in the hell would you want anything to do with her? If she was responsible for wrecking a relationship that you had, and I can only assume it was a good one since she took you back, why would you want her in your life at all? Friend or otherwise, it makes no sense to me.

BTW, what does your current g/f seem to think of all of this? I didn't read everyting word for word that was posted over the weekend, so forgive me if this was posted earlier and I overlooked it.

Wedge, if you are serious about this girl you are currently with, and you really love her, then, you need to cut Ex out of your life. If you can't she will be a problem in every relationship you will have in the future.

Ex wrote:
"I am not playing games with him. He is the only person that I can see me spending my future with but right now is not the time for us. "

Sounds like a game to me. When will the right time be? Sounds like she wants to keep you on the back burner until she can pull her head out of her ass and decide what she wants. All the while you are being strung along like a puppy on a leash.

Wedge, your current g/f took you back after you went back to Ex. If you care for her, take this relationship, run with it, and DO NOT look back.

Ex, if you still do care for him, stop being so selfish. You said you can't be with him now, but, you want to be friends, basically until you are ready for more. For what purpose? Do you just want to keep track of him so you can latch on to him when you are ready? And when you are ready, are you going to try to break up whatever relationship he is in at that time? Is this love or obsession?

Not out to hurt anyones feelings or flame anyone. Just my .02...

well my current girlfriend and I had a talk last night.. and as much as you may not believe me.. I did tell her the truth.. I could of lyed about seeing her at all, but I figured that would make things worse then they are..

kaley (gf) told me that she was tired of hurting.. well, sad to say I know how she feels.. she is a great girl, and I do care about her, but the truth is we have been having problems for weeks, well beyond me and stacy ever talking again..

honestly I know where stacy is coming from.. I have been there.. she left me for the newest guy who cought her eye.. and truthfully I think it will happen again eventually.. it probably ever stop.. I am to her what kaley is to me.. when you find out you and the person that you thought was going to work out turned to crap.. you might (in this case always) turn back to a past relationship in hopes of seeing that you are not a bad person.. that you are liked and datable.. honestly I think deep down that is what I am to stacy.. just the in between guy.. that shows that she is great girl that could date any great guy... yeah she treated me wrong.. and the pain isn't going away any time soon..

I honestly think that kaley is using this to break up with me so she can make me feel like the bad guy.. I might be.. but it won't be the first time she turns something small into something big, and refuse to work it out.. things have been bad for weeks, but we have been threw worse.. who knows.. I just choose not to worry..

Wedge,

Kaley is not the bad person here, she gave you a chance when most girls would have told you to kiss their ass. If you know what it feels like to be in Kaley's position, why the hell are you doing it to her over and over.. You know we have talked alot, and I in no way am saying this to hurt you.. We got 3 people here..and a really screwed up relationship..

Alan, sit and think about this..Come on now..What are you trying to prove to yourself..?

And ExStillInLove, what are you trying to prove, you can break Alan up with every girl he finds and have him at your beck and call?

Ok, now I am sounding harsh, but this is like a vicious cycle..SOMEONE is always hurting, or awaiting the hurt..

Alan, you say over and over again, you know she will leave you for the next available..Well, for goodness sake "Why the hell you sitting around taking it" Come on now, it is obvious other ppl are attracted you. I understand you love Stacy..but geez..You are going to keep taking the abuse over and over again..

Why ask for misery when it is unnecessary... ?

Whether you say you and Kaley have issues other then your ex, I still think they all revolved around Kaleys insecurity of you leaving her for your ex again...

Just my .02 worth..Hope you do not take this to personal, cause you know I only want what is best for you.

~Heather

let me just start off by saying I expected this.. and I am positive that many others have been thew simular or worse things then this.. and that is why you come on here and tell me these things.. I understand.. and I am not mad about it.. truthfully I desirve and need it to fully understand what I am doing..

I am sure you all remember when I first came on this board and ambushed everyone with my problems with stacy.. I am maybe be blind to what I am really doing.. but the truth is, I had more fun with stacy saturday then I did kaley friday.. I was able to laugh and not worry about things I normally do..

familiarity breads content.. the more your around a person, the more you run out of stuff to talk about and the more you grow to want something different.. both with stacy and kaley..

yes I know kaley is probably the better person for me to be with right now.. she is more a sure thing then me and stacy ever have been.. I will always have a fear of stacy leaving.. and kaley will always have the fear of me leaving.. so both are screwed right? and it's all my fault right? well I am kinda tired of hearing it's all my fault.. b/c I am not happy and when I try to find happiness everything crumbles and all the fingers point at me.. I am on the verge of loosing my best friend as well as kaley b/c of this, and it all comes down to my desision.. well truthfully I don't regret it, and I want what we had this weekend to last, but it won't forever.. it always goes back and forth..

I'm trying to think of a nice way to say it . . . but I can't . . .

SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT!

Wedge, pick one, dump the other, and stop making the water so cloudy. The trama and drama you're living in is of your own creation. Simply pull the plug . . . unless you like it.

I mean, some people, regardless of what their life is really like, must have tragedy (either real, perceived, or created) around them to feel normal. Get out of that man. All of you should. It's about as productive as union labor on a Saturday.

Okay, the gloves come off...


Originally posted by Wedge4876
well my current girlfriend and I had a talk last night.. and as much as you may not believe me.. I did tell her the truth.. I could of lyed about seeing her at all, but I figured that would make things worse then they are..

Bet you feel like an honorable knight in shining armor...

Originally posted by Wedge4876
kaley (gf) told me that she was tired of hurting.. well, sad to say I know how she feels.. she is a great girl, and I do care about her, but the truth is we have been having problems for weeks, well beyond me and stacy ever talking again..

If you know how she feels, why the hell'd you put her through it? I called Stacey selfish in my last post. After reading this crock of crap, I think I can label you on that also.

Originally posted by Wedge4876
honestly I know where stacy is coming from.. I have been there.. she left me for the newest guy who cought her eye.. and truthfully I think it will happen again eventually.. it probably ever stop..

Then why not think with your brain, not heart or parts lower, and break the cycle NOW!!! To continue playing this game is not only illogical, it is down-right STUPID.

Originally posted by Wedge4876
I am to her what kaley is to me.. when you find out you and the person that you thought was going to work out turned to crap.. you might (in this case always) turn back to a past relationship in hopes of seeing that you are not a bad person.. that you are liked and datable..

Only did this once and I learned my lesson. The difference is I didn't have anyone around I could talk to and see the good and bad of it. Is someone telling you that you are a bad person, or you just feel that way?

Originally posted by Wedge4876
honestly I think deep down that is what I am to stacy.. just the in between guy.. that shows that she is great girl that could date any great guy... yeah she treated me wrong.. and the pain isn't going away any time soon..

She ****ed you over the same way you ****ed Kaley over. The only one I see who isn't at fault is Kaley. But, since she isn't posting here...

Originally posted by Wedge4876
I honestly think that kaley is using this to break up with me so she can make me feel like the bad guy.. I might be.. but it won't be the first time she turns something small into something big, and refuse to work it out..

If the shoe fits... As for the fighting over mole hills, GET USED TO IT!!!! Been married for 13 years, we NEVER fight over the BIG issues. Just the small ones. Women (at least the women I know) have a tendancy to do worry over insignificant issues and draw them to a powderkeg. Then again, if Kaley suspected you were seeing or talking to Stacey again, she may have been venting at you on other issues...

Originally posted by Wedge4876
familiarity breads content..

Yeah, and bullshit, too...

Both you you need to grow the **** up and get on with life. If you want to continue dicking up each others lives, feel free. Leave other people out of the picture, though...

Originally posted by Wedge4876
yes I know kaley is probably the better person for me to be with right now.. she is more a sure thing then me and stacy ever have been.. I will always have a fear of stacy leaving.. and kaley will always have the fear of me leaving.. so both are screwed right? and it's all my fault right? well I am kinda tired of hearing it's all my fault.. b/c I am not happy and when I try to find happiness everything crumbles and all the fingers point at me.. I am on the verge of loosing my best friend as well as kaley b/c of this, and it all comes down to my desision.. well truthfully I don't regret it, and I want what we had this weekend to last, but it won't forever.. it always goes back and forth..

The way it sounds to me, neither is the better person for you.. What is the saying, "If it don't come easy, let it go" That should really ring true.

I, dont think anyone here is putting the blame on one person..Like I said it is a cycle.. Each their own..

Alan, it is not to much to ask for happiness..Hell that is all I want myself.. I am just learning that things take time.

Learn from experiences, mistakes, etc.

It doesnt matter what we say though, you will learn for yourself. I did the same thing..

I am inches away to saying **** IT to everything.. kaley, stacy, and everyone on here.. excuse me for asking for help on this board.. I know you are telling the truth.. but honestly I have to figure this out for myself.. out of all of this, whose emotions are the most ****ed?? hmm.. me.. stacy goes from whim to whim not really truly caring, kaley comes in close secong, but only got caught in the middle, who can cut herself loose easily.. and there's me who has strong feelings about both them.. I can't help it.. emotions can rule a person.. I am not strong enough to stop it.. I am not trying to blame this on something other than me.. but my family life is all ****ed up.. the only person that truly cared about me died in January.. .. my mom, ever since I was young I was a mama's boy.. and everyone knows it.. since then I leaned on my dad to take care of me.. but he cares more about spending time and money on his new girls b/c he thinks that's what it takes to make him happy instead of making sure I have gas in my car to drive to work or food so I don't go a day without eating.. I am sorry I can't go on like this.. there is more to play then you realize.. there is more to play then I realize.. that's why I am scared..

Alan...

I am sorry you feel so distraught, and you are right, no one on this board truly knows all the details in ones life unless you tell us..I dont think the things ppl are saying is meant to hurt you, I think that..they are trying to help you see eye to eye with the destruction you are setting yourself up too..

Everyone goes through this point in their life..You just have to hang in there and realize this to shall pass..

but honestly on this board, if you truly dont want to know ones opinion you should not ask.

Smile hun..I love ya.. :)

opinions I don't mind.. and it's hard to see the outcome of me crashing like before if stay with stacy, b/c of how good it is to know she came back..

the reality i see me liking stacy like a drug.. it's adictive.. it's great going up, but hell coming down.. she and I know that she doesn't anything to prove by liking me.. she doesn't have to like me for me to care about her.. she didn't break me and kaley up.. I did.. I am not as worried about it.. b/c I believe things happen for a reason.. if we can't work out then so be it..

hmm.. funny I say that about me and kaley.. the whole things happen for a reason.. b/c what does that mean for me and stacy? there has been been more thrown in the road between us then kaley would ever tolerate.. kaley tried hard.. and I liked that.. I am just not needing to be consumed with girls at the moment.. I have told both this.. but I guess this could me more time consuming then just having one..

Originally posted by Wedge4876
I am just not needing to be consumed with girls at the moment..

Finally.... This statement speaks volumes.

Tell them both. Then distance yourself as far away as you can. Until you can come to grips with yourself, and like yourself as you are, you will never have much luck in a relationship. And who knows, while you are trying to find yourself, you just may run into the girl of your dreams and not even know it.

Don't be afraid to do this, Alan. I had to in 1987-8 after a VERY bad relationship. We broke up after a two year engagement that never should have happened. We were either screwing or fighting and that ain't much of a relationship. Won't fo into the details of the fights, but, they were spirited. We (I) called it off Thanksgiving of '87. I changed my phone number, to cut off all ties. She tried writing, wanting to be friends, but, I refused to write back. That winter, she threw a football sized rock through my truck window when I was at work. I left the rock on her front doorstep so she would know...

Wedge, you and this other chick have a history of screwing around without much thought or hesitation. It's also obvious that, over some years, neither of you has changed much. So, uh . . . . why bother?

Drop back, and punt. Cut all ties to the psycho. Next, figure out if you and Kayle have a future. Your gut will tell you in about 2 hours. DON'T listen to any other organ. Don't rationalize and don't overestimate your powers of change. Just go with how you feel . . . and either boot her or take her back.

Yes, it IS that simple . . .

Hey.
Maybe I need to talk to Exstillinlove... how did you get your ex an his new girl apart? My ex seems to be in love with this new girl. But maybe you know a trick that I don't. Is is worth it?

hmm.. being the guy, I can tell you it was my fault.. I was unhappy b/c me and kaley can't be friends... well we can.. so does your happiness depend upon someone else?

you must be fast reader to read all this..

Yeah . . . find some guy you can get to cheat on his girlfriend in hopes of building a relationship with . . . . :rolleyes: OH BROTHER . . .

It's like buying a used car by saying "I'm looking for a good reliable car to drive a couple of years, and, hey, there were some REALLY sharp Cavaliers parked on the side of the road on my drive here . . . do you have any of those for sale?"

If you drink from a gallon of milk and find a turd in it, do you go back later, drink more, and hope the turd has gone away? NO!!! Ya' get a bottle of Boones and a 5th of Fighting Cock to wash the turd out of your mouth (and then take the milk over to your ex's . . . and leave it in HER fridge).

Remember, if you can take someone away for yourself, odds are there is someone RIGHT behind you who's younger, prettier, and has bigger tits who's thinking the same thing. Why bet on a loser?

Holy shit, he's finally snapped...

Originally posted by D Durden
Yeah . . . find some guy you can get to cheat on his girlfriend in hopes of building a relationship with . . . . :rolleyes: OH BROTHER . . .

It's like buying a used car by saying "I'm looking for a good reliable car to drive a couple of years, and, hey, there were some REALLY sharp Cavaliers parked on the side of the road on my drive here . . . do you have any of those for sale?"

If you drink from a gallon of milk and find a turd in it, do you go back later, drink more, and hope the turd has gone away? NO!!! Ya' get a bottle of Boones and a 5th of Fighting Cock to wash the turd out of your mouth (and then take the milk over to your ex's . . . and leave it in HER fridge).

Remember, if you can take someone away for yourself, odds are there is someone RIGHT behind you who's younger, prettier, and has bigger tits who's thinking the same thing. Why bet on a loser?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! That's tooo freakin funny!! Still fealing a little animosity toward the ex i take it?:D

Originally posted by D Durden
Remember, if you can take someone away for yourself, odds are there is someone RIGHT behind you who's younger, prettier, and has bigger tits who's thinking the same thing.

me me me.. well atleast I hope so..

for an update on my situation.. me and stacy went out last night and before I knew it, she was trying to set me up with the two hottest blondes you ever seen.. I was a little confused.. but I am starting to except friendship forever..

well I was going to wait for someone else to post, or atleast start this in a new thread.. I just really need to talk to someone..

right as far as stacy goes, I am confused on what to do.. I guess we are trying to build the friendship thing first, but she says she doesn't want to date anyone for a while.. which will probably be good.. anyways, I am having problems with this, b/c I do care about her alot.. but I just want to know one thing.. I started thinking yesterday "as long as she is happy.. then fine"

so is that it? is that love? or is that just her using me between guys once again?

overall I know it's pathetic.. but I allow it to happen.. truthfully I am happy when she is happy.. but when all is said and done.. she probably won't be with me, b/c of our crappy past.. like the gallon of milk thing..

I guess I could just use the tem "happy for her".. thanks for the help

Originally posted by Wedge4876

overall I know it's pathetic.. but I allow it to happen


Remember, you said it first...

Originally posted by Brian
Remember, you said it first...

so I guess I can't complain if I don't do anything about it

Originally posted by Wedge4876


so I guess I can't complain if I don't do anything about it

On the contrary, you can complain all you want. Whether people continue to listen is another story.

Look, Alan, I can only say this:

In my view (we all know what opinions are like), the is no one girl worth getting this wrapped up over.

She has put you thru an emotional rollercoaster ride, yet you keep waiting around like a lost puppy. Man, get on with your life because it's too short to play waiting games like this...

And yes, you ARE strong enough to do it, you just have to WANT to do it.

sick and tired of being confused.. I guess it's just that simple.. I have to figure out what I really want then go for it and hope for the best..

thanks for the help though.. you guys don't know how much I appriciate this..

Alan

She is trying to set you up with other girls.... hmm.... I know I sure as hell would not be setting my ex's up with girls even if I didnt want them..Friends or not..Not her place to do kiddo..Like she is wanting control of the aspects of your life.

And Ex if your reading.."What are you doing?"

you may or may not know this about me.. but I am exetremly nervous.. after it happened I was shaking so bad, even though really it was no big deal.. I ordered this expensive meal I barely ate.. and what I did eat I went to the bathroom and threw up, b/c my stomach was all tore up.. I have no clue what she is doing.. I told her not to.. if I wanted those girls attention that bad, I would of done it myself.. I mean what kinda of a girl wants to date a freak that gets nervous all the time.. is something wrong with me?

Wedge . . . did you score with those 2 girls? Did you get CLOSE to scoring with those 2 girls? Could you have scored with those 2 girls with a brand new Ferrari and a suitcase full of coke? If you said no to MOST of those, then she HARDLY is trying to help you out. That was showtime.

She likes you because she's between guys, she has power over you, and you're serving well as an emotional tampon. Just remember what happens to the tampon when it's no longer needed, um-kay.

I can't say this any more clear . . . LEAVE! Tell her to buy a dog to be a friend forever and leave. You can't "unfeel" what you've felt for her . . . stop trying. IF you two stay friends, then you'll be in this constant mode of redifining where you are depending on how horny/lonely the other person is at the time. And, basically, you're in a race to see which one of you will find someone else to date first. I'm betting she's already on the track and you're in the pits scratching your shifter . . . .

Originally posted by D Durden

I'm betting she's already on the track and you're in the pits scratching your shifter . . . .

ROFLMAO!!!!

Originally posted by D Durden
She likes you because she's between guys, she has power over you, and you're serving well as an emotional tampon. Just remember what happens to the tampon when it's no longer needed, um-kay.



Would that be flushed down the toilet bowl?

I know you guys are right.. but I still feel what I feel.. maybe I should step back and give the whole situation a look see.. just feels to me if I fall in again.. if I haven't already.. you going to see a post in here "well she did it again" in a month or so.. and then all I would hear or desirve to hear is.. "see what we said"

I think I will just join the air force instead..

Can't say joining the Air Force is a bad idea..but over a girl...Naw..not worth it, unless that is what you really want to do.. There has been many times, I wanted to pack my shit and go..but the feelings, and problems well they just follow you!

as long as I ain't in the fudge packing navy, I guess I am ok.. : )

durden was right about me having no shot what so ever with the two hotties.. but atleast I got to meet them right.. I kinda liked the shy guy approach.. honestly if I tried hard enough I could of got the waitress' number, she was flirting.. and she wrote me a note on the back of the receipt.. it was cute.. telling me not to be so shy.. so yeah, she got a big tip.. that's about all she was after I am sure..

Originally posted by Wedge4876
as long as I ain't in the fudge packing navy, I guess I am ok.. : )

durden was right about me having no shot what so ever with the two hotties.. but atleast I got to meet them right.. I kinda liked the shy guy approach.. BUZZZZZZZ . . . wrong answer. No shy guys meet the women after the age of 19. It's a high school technique that's shakey even then. You're not after pity . . . you're after pu

honestly if I tried hard enough I could of got the waitress' number, she was flirting.. and she wrote me a note on the back of the receipt.. it was cute.. telling me not to be so shy.. so yeah, she got a big tip.. that's about all she was after I am sure..

Right, she saw that this one girl was using you so why not jump on the bandwagon.

Listen, unless your last name is Craftsman or Snapon, stop being a tool for this chick. Did you pick up her check, too . . . FRIEND? Well, at least you met two girls you have no chance in hell with . . . I mean, that and 55 cents will get you a Coke . . . .:rolleyes:

Look, you can rationalize the "benefits" of having her as a friend, or you can get off your azz and get a REAL girl. You're not a friend, your an accesory that happens to match her shoes right now. That's about it. DUMP IT!!!

And *sigh*, it's not that we're going say "we told you so". It's just that the tragedy is needless. Somebody gets crapped on, and that's bad. Trying to work things out again, and getting crapped on sucks. Getting crapped on AGAIN by the same person . . . with hopes of making you her porcealin lover is bloody well stupid. Why put yourself through it?

You say you're confused. ABOUT WHAT??? You're spending time with a girl who's, for the most part, just bored, and since she has power over you, you're her amusement of the day. You KNOW that she's not interested in anything more (even though you probably could be talked into it), AND, at her whim, you could be gone. What's to be confused about? About the only thing confusing picking a direction to run. I would suggest AWAY!

To put it simply, it's like pissing on an electric fence. You pissed on it, and it shot you half-way across the yard. Then, to see EXACTLY what happened, you pissed on it again. Guess what? You're one of the flying Walenzas again. Now, with a smoking dick in your hand, you're telling us that you're confused about where not to piss . . . Capiche?

I know she doesn't get on the computer much.. but she isn't even trying to explain her point of view.. I think she doesn't care what you guys think.. or afriad of you being right about her..

stacy? any comments?

I've kinda been reading along and I have a few questions. Do you know any other people besides her and your ex? Do you really need her as a "friend"? Can she actually even be a friend to you? Last time I checked being at dinner with a friend isn't supposed to make you so nervous yu barf. Find some real friends and don't worry about girls for awhile, ESPECIALLY this one. Tell her you've got other plans the next few times she wants to do something. If she really wants to be your friend she'll be around later. if she's using you it'll be too much trouble if you're not at her beckoning call. Decide whta YOU would be doing if she didn't exist and do it. Live your life and don't worry so much. Think about this, last I heard the population is 51% female. That means while you're mopin about you're missing out on a WHOLE LOTTA action. You have to get on with your life. If she really cares she'll make an effort to be there. If not, SO BE IT.

Originally posted by jwreck
I've kinda been reading along and I have a few questions. Do you know any other people besides her and your ex?
Yes

Do you really need her as a "friend"?
unsure, more yes then no.. I see her as a link to the past, which may not be a good thing..

Can she actually even be a friend to you?
yes she can, I don’t know if this what you mean, but we had a lot of fun together when we see each other.. just have to hide emotions..

Last time I checked being at dinner with a friend isn't supposed to make you so nervous yu barf.
funny, but true

Well truthfully the whole friendship thing is more or less in her court.. she has been the one calling me asking me out.. I don’t know how long it will last.. this happened right after she got out of high school, b/c as you can guess.. she lost a lot of friends..

Don’t think I don’t want to meet girls, for the first time in months I have nothing to do this weekend, and I know of plenty of girls that I use to see at the mall when I worked there that would always come see me.. I plan on going out and seeing who all I can hang out with that is new this weekend.. she already has plans, and actually I really want to meet this one girl, that I couldn’t before because of kaley.. well see what happens.. I just wonder about her true motives sometimes..

On a side note, she and I talked last night about her and her ex that she dumped me for.. I know this sounds fourth grade.. but so she says she is a virgin, and I believe her.. others don’t.. but she told me that she wanted to have sex with him, which upset me.. it was a physical thing, and I can understand b/c I have been there.. that just crushed me.. that shows she really did move on.. I don’t want to hate her, but I don’t want to get hurt.. is there not a middle?

Originally posted by Wedge4876

Yes


unsure, more yes then no.. I see her as a link to the past, which may not be a good thing..

So, you're filtering through the crap and find she's a security blanket. Very keen observation. I have another one. You're security blanket is holding you by the hips and gyrating . . . and it's becoming a pain in the azz. Time for a new blanket . . . .


yes she can, I don’t know if this what you mean, but we had a lot of fun together when we see each other.. just have to hide emotions..

So, to make it okay to "be friends", you have to repress your emotions? Sounds like a load of laughs. Does she also make you call her "ma'am"? Dude, the key to being happy is to be with someone that makes you feel FREE, and not guarded.


funny, but true

Well truthfully the whole friendship thing is more or less in her court..

No, YOUR LIFE is in her court. You're sitting there at the mercy of someone who's been playing you like a cheap piano . . . and, even worse, you know about it. And the music sucks to everyone except her.

she has been the one calling me asking me out.. I don’t know how long it will last.. this happened right after she got out of high school, b/c as you can guess.. she lost a lot of friends..

Screen print 'KOTEX' on the back of all your shirts. ;)

Don’t think I don’t want to meet girls, for the first time in months I have nothing to do this weekend, and I know of plenty of girls that I use to see at the mall when I worked there that would always come see me.. I plan on going out and seeing who all I can hang out with that is new this weekend.. she already has plans, and actually I really want to meet this one girl, that I couldn’t before because of kaley.. well see what happens..

Well, let me tell you something, and ladies, back me up here: if you REALLY want to meet single women, the best thing to do is be seen out a lot with your ex-girlfriend . . . I can't TELL you how many girls I've picked up with my ex-wife around . . . oh brother . . .

I just wonder about her true motives sometimes..

Brother, you're the ONLY one here wondering . . .

On a side note, she and I talked last night about her and her ex that she dumped me for.. I know this sounds fourth grade.. but so she says she is a virgin, and I believe her.. others don’t.. but she told me that she wanted to have sex with him, which upset me.. it was a physical thing, and I can understand b/c I have been there.. that just crushed me.. that shows she really did move on.. I don’t want to hate her, but I don’t want to get hurt.. is there not a middle?

And now, with the mention of the virgin/sex/jealousy thing, she has her hand and arm ALL THE WAY up your ass and has you like a wooden dummy.

Dude . . . DUMP HER NOW!!! She's using you for attention with NO INTENTION of anything more. She's not even SCREWING YOU (in the good connotation). For all you know, she's the worst lay since the chick I cheated on my then girlfriend now ex-wife on (don't ask . . . it WAS that bad . . . I stopped and finished my DAMN self off . . . then again, I'm a great lay . . . ).

If this were a horse race, you'd be betting on a horse that has already told you she's not going to win, and, if she did, you couldn't have any of the winnings, anyway.

So, with that said, please, for the sake of ALL OF US, get a new mount!

Originally posted by Wedge4876
.. that shows she really did move on.. I don?t want to hate her, but I don?t want to get hurt.. is there not a middle?
If you can find it, you are a better man than I. The more you're around her, the more hurtful things you will hear.

Originally posted by jwreck
If you can find it, you are a better man than I. The more you're around her, the more hurtful things you will hear.

that's true.. this is only the first week of our "friendship" and she is already telling me about her "urgies" to sleep with guys.. imagine what will come up next week..

durden you may not like this, but I am not going to cut her off completely.. overall I have my emotions under control.. I could cut the ties and be out of there in less then 2 minutes.. I guess that's the problem.. we have a great time when we just get along and don't worry, but it means nothing, b/c it can all be gone tomorrow.. deep down I know that we will always have something.. but that something also has shit in it..

she nor any girl for that matter can make me happy.. my happiness doesn't depend on that.. my emotions get out of hand from time to time.. but then again, it helps to take a look at the whole thing..

durden.. no hard feelings.. i just think sometimes you post on here to use your witty metaphors.. but honestly I am listening, and all of what you said makes since..

to post a bit more, just like to ask durden a question..

first off let me say, I respect you on this board more than anybody, your straightshooter, you don't put up with BS..

with that said, you have mentioned your ex wife and how messy that was, but you seem to be doing fine about it.. was it just one day you woke up and realized what was truly going on.. or did it take a while.. I know you try to shove reasoning and logic in my face b/c I don't think you want to see me or anybody else hurt.. or maybe your just being funny about the whole thing.. so explain.. you keep saying get out, get out, get out.. but I would rather be her friend now.. it's a risk of getting my feelings hurt.. but honestly I think (she didn't say this), that down the road if we aren't together, she will think of me.. she will think what I put up with, and regret treating someone that just wanted her happiness so bad.. maybe I am wrong, and I really am blind.. I know she did bad things.. but so did I.. we all make mistakes, but sometimes people know what they are doing to hurt us..

peace

whooppsss :D

Dave..Geez I am at work...Its not attractive to be laying on the floor hurting from laughing so hard..NO NO I dont think what you say is funny, just how you say it..And Wedge it is nice to see he is on someone elses ass for a change..cause you know what..This lil' Princess finally saw the light..and it is a wonderful feeling..

Originally posted by Princess
Dave..Geez I am at work...Its not attractive to be laying on the floor hurting from laughing so hard..NO NO I dont think what you say is funny, just how you say it..And Wedge it is nice to see he is on someone elses ass for a change..cause you know what..This lil' Princess finally saw the light..and it is a wonderful feeling..

nice to know I am the ass everyone can laugh at.. maybe if I pulled my pants up I could see the light too... I am actually too busy looking at my.. nevermind..

Originally posted by Wedge4876


nice to know I am the ass everyone can laugh at.. maybe if I pulled my pants up I could see the light too... I am actually too busy looking at my.. nevermind..

I am not laughing at you..I am laughing at the way Dave can put something into words..

And Yeah..quit looking at it,and do something about it.. :P

Originally posted by Princess


I am not laughing at you..I am laughing at the way Dave can put something into words..

And Yeah..quit looking at it,and do something about it.. :P

I have never had any complaints about it.. :p

Originally posted by Wedge4876


that's true.. this is only the first week of our "friendship" and she is already telling me about her "urgies" to sleep with guys.. imagine what will come up next week..

I don't have to imagine . . . I'll tell you now. It will be whatever else it takes to manipulate your time and feelings. :D

durden you may not like this, but I am not going to cut her off completely.. but that something also has shit in it..

I COMPLETELEY understand. Seriously bro'. But do yourself a favor. Get some stainless steel wire for that electric fence. Granted, you're still pissing on an electric fence (by choice, no less!), but at least it won't rust out as quickly that way ;).

durden.. no hard feelings.. i just think sometimes you post on here to use your witty metaphors.. but honestly I am listening, and all of what you said makes since..

Nope . . . sorry. I make those up as I go . . . no poo-poo. Ask Lisa. It's a talent . . . of sorts . . . :rolleyes:

Gimme a few . . . I'm working on your question(s) . . .

Originally posted by Wedge4876
to post a bit more, just like to ask durden a question..

first off let me say, I respect you on this board more than anybody, your straightshooter, you don't put up with BS..

Keep that attitude up, and I'll take you away from her myself! ;)

with that said, you have mentioned your ex wife and how messy that was, but you seem to be doing fine about it.. was it just one day you woke up and realized what was truly going on.. or did it take a while..

Something like that. I woke up one morning and said "honey, do you think it's over?" She rolled over, told her boyfriend to go get her breakfast, and we had a long talk about our marriage. :D :D

I know you try to shove reasoning and logic in my face b/c I don't think you want to see me or anybody else hurt.. or maybe your just being funny about the whole thing.. so explain..

It's easy Grasshoppa'. I got screwed (and didn't get kissed). I allowed a woman that basically I pulled out of a high rent trailer park family to destroy my ego, subjugate me, and even turn my own family against me (briefly) because she's a control freak. It's NOT because she hates me . . . she can't muster hatred. I just happened to be there . . . and stupidly willing.

Now granted, it was a feindish and long term plot, but, in 12 years, she pulled it (and them!) off. It took me about 30 days to get it all back, but, it has made me a much more lucid and realistic person hence I have settled in with an angel the likes of which men would battle the demons of hell itself just to sniff a commercial airline seat that she MIGHT have sat in.

you keep saying get out, get out, get out.. but I would rather be her friend now..

Pray tell, why? There's no sex, long-term relationship, nor money involved. You already admitted that you can't express your feelings around her, AND she brings up painful memories and subjects that hurt you. The last friend I had like that got shown the door . . .

it's a risk of getting my feelings hurt.. but honestly I think (she didn't say this), that down the road if we aren't together, she will think of me.. she will think what I put up with, and regret treating someone that just wanted her happiness so bad..

"And maybe she'll feel sorry for me and pity me and . . ." BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! If you're out of high school, PUHLEASE refrain from even THINKING that. We've already established that she's used you in the past and she's using you now. Why the faith that somehow she'll secumb to a fit of morality or concious?

Dude, there's more to life than somehow convincing some woman that you love her, you know? Sticking around and hoping for the pity longshot is pathetic . . . no offense!

maybe I am wrong, and I really am blind..

ERRRRRRRRNNNT!!! Wrong Sparky . . . you AREN'T blind and you're NOT wrong. You KNOW what you're doing, and you realize how dumb it is. Big difference! ;)

If you find a 2 year old playing with a turd, it's because he doesn't know better. If you find a 25 year old playing with a turd, it's because he's dumb. In either case, both should put the turd down and walk away.

I know she did bad things.. but so did I.. we all make mistakes, but sometimes people know what they are doing to hurt us..

peace

And THAT'S the kind of person you want to be around? Dude, you WANT to be around people that hurt you intentionally? I know some nice German girls that will be perfect for you.

NONE of this has anything to do with love. It sounds like your goal is to make her sorry for hurting someone who cares so much about her. BY DEFINITION, she doesn't care, you know? It's like gun control i.e. some people are trying to make new laws to control law breakers. By definition, it doesn't work. You're trying to guilt someone who doesn't care about you to care about you. Okay, GUILT only works if she cares . . . but, she doesn't.

Dude, you KNOW you're going to get hurt. You KNOW this isn't going to last. You KNOW that no sex (heheheheh, with YOU anyway) is going to be involved. Even better, you KNOW she's going to hurt you along the way. WHAT'S THE FREAKING POINT!?!?

Look, if you can put up with that, AT LEAST find some other psycho hose beast that will, on occasion, dress up like a Catholic Schoolgirl and tell you that she was naughty today in class . . . and needs discipline (notice no mention of cheerleaders . . . I'm cutting back!). Crap man, if you're going to take it in the ass from some chick, at least find one that will give you the reach around, huh?

Ahhh… another day in the life of hell.. welp you guys can all rub it in to my face now.. I have began to see the light.. after last night, I can clearly see we ain’t getting back anytime soon.. that girls has issues..

I am not going to get into what happen, but trust me.. if you thought my ass was showing before.. it was on the big screen last night.. I take the blame because I made myself look like a fool.. I am not going to get into what she did, honestly b/c I was where she was months ago and somethings you can’t control that you want to do..

Give give give.. that’s about all it was on my end last night.. I felt like I got raped and didn’t enjoy it.. yeah, I want her happy.. but honestly.. BEING WITH ME ISN’T GOING TO MAKE HER HAPPY.. or she wouldn’t be doing this.. she had a choice.. she didn’t choose me.. that’s about all I am going to say..

The only thing that makes this worse is three things.. 1. I allowed it 2. I knew it was going to happen 3. I did this to Kaley and now I know how it feels


I am just sick and tired of being with a girl that doesn’t want me.. hell.. I am not even with her.. I am trying so damn hard to be with her, that right there makes it that much worse..

Do yourself a favor . . . make a printout of what you JUST WROTE, and put it on you bathroom mirror. Put another copy in your wallet. EVERYTIME you get stupid, horny, or drunk enough to want her back, read that back to yourself!!!

My friend, act like a tree . . . and leave.