Criminal
11-24-2002, 02:26 AM
I really dont want to talk about how I met my wife or how the marriage came about. It was one of those truely incrediable stories that really would not be believed even if I told you. Rather I will start on the day we were married.
The wedding was almost perfect. I made all of the arrangements myself. My wife being a foreign national had little knowledge of the american marriage customs. In her homeland, weddings were usually celibrated only with a small group of friends and immidiate family. Church weddings are not recognized by the state and if they take place at all they follow the state wedding. She was agnostic anyway so it mattered little how we celibrated the wedding.
It took place in a church. The only girl she invited could not make it so the entire wedding was attended by my family and friends only. The reception was indescribable. We had a live band. Everything was according to how it was supposed to be. My bride was overwhelmed by it all.
Then we had our honeymoon. It was done on a shoestring. We went to Door county Wisconsin. It was September and the fall set in a bit early. It rained a lot but we had time for fun.
Well as time went on, I started working again. Pavla (the wife) got a job and things returned to normal.
Our sex life at that time was good. We were not rich but we were happy.
Then came the baby.
My daughter was born exactly one year after the marriage. It became the focus of our lives. We stopped going out on weekends and spent time careing for our baby.
The sex was less and less often. It went from being every day to once a week and then once a month.
Pavla wanted more and more things. We took vacations and had no money left over. Money was not important to me but it was sure hard to make ends meet.
I worked evenings at this job but decided to find a job that paid better. I did get such a job but it did not last. I decided to change careers. I began studying Novell Networking. I spent lots of time studying. Between work and studying I had little time at home.
Once my studies were complete I found myself drifting from job to job. In the meantime Pavla wanted to get a house. Everyone else has a house so why dont we get one.
We did get a house and I thought our troubles were over. To be sure I did get a decent job at a company (the same one I have now). There was one little hitch though. Pavla knew that we could not afford a house if we paid for it on our own. It was necessary to now rent out our house, or part of it to guests.
Our paid guests were four Czech men. They seemed ok at first. They worked as roofers. On weekends they stayed up late and partied in the back yard. They made a mess of the place but I did not mind. Pavla explained that it was necessary to be kind to them. After a while they all left except for one guy by the name of Martin. Martin soon brought his wife over. She was also Czech. She had two kids with her, a 10 year old kid named Tom and a 3 year old also named Martin.
As a couple they were rather obnoxious. They screamed and yelled a lot. Martin fixed up the basement into an appartment. They moved downstairs and I saw little of them. What did bug me was that now I was working early mornings, expecially weekends and I could hear the noise of the people downstairs. Pavla was often downstairs as well. Then other people came into our lives. Pavla had one friend named Pavel. He seemed kind and friendly at first, but I couldnt help noticing that Pavla spent a lot of time with him.
At this time, I may add, our sex life had ended all together.
Then during the summer, the year was 1997, Pavla planned a trip to Florida. She planned two weeks. I only had a week from work. She insisted on this though. She also was to go with Pavel, little Tom, our daughter and Martins sister. After I insisted she agreed to not take Pavel. Well then she told me that Pavel and Martin's sister Petra were planning to hitchhike to Florida and she was afraid. I reluctantly agreed to let them go.
I was to meet them in Orlando a week after they left.
I flew to Orlando and stayed in a cheap motel in Kissamee. I did not hear from them for three days. Then they arrived. I really felt uneasy. It seemed that Pavla and Pavel were spending a lot of time.
Then I found out from my own daughter that Pavla and Pavel were sleeping in the same room throughout the trip.
It was a shock that I could not describe.
I brought up this matter with Pavla. She said it was not true and grew angry with me. Pavel just refused to talk about it.
In September of that year Pavel took off. Nobody really missed him. Not even Pavla. It seems they had a spat of some kind.
I thought my problems were over but they were not. Pavla moved into another room with my daughter. She did not give me a reason. She started staying out all night.
As a last ditch effort I planned a romantic dinner by candel light. I cooked filet mignon with bacon stips, a premium wine and black forest cake. I told her ahead of time I was making dinner. She came home that night, looked at the dinner I made and told me she was not hungry. She then went out for the night. I could do nothing but cry.
Later one night, on my birthday in fact I heard music from downstairs and laughing. I went there and there was a party. I did not know most of the people but pretended to be enjoying myself. One guy asked me who I was and I told him I owned the place. I told him Pavla was my wife. He then started telling me how his friend and Pavla were having an affair. I had trouble understanding him. He was drunk and he was foreign besides. All the same I knew it was really bad.
The next day Pavla came home from being out all night. I told her angerly, that I wanted this to stop. Ether she was my wife or she was not. I asked her if she loved me and she said no. I asked her if she wanted to go get counciling and she said no. For years I tried to drag her to a marriage counciler but now I realized it was too late.
I began working on the divorce. Pavla wanted the house but I insisted not. Not only could she not afford it but it was my parents who gave us the money for the down payment. It seemed unfair to them that I should just give the house to my ex.
I was now alone. Pavla continued to live in the same house as me but our lives were seperate. Caught in the middle was my daughter. She once told me, in a rather naive way, "Daddy let me talk to mommy". I told here not to bother but she did anyway. Pavla was pissed "How the hell can you bring our daughter into this" she asked.
I drove around at night, looking for bridges. On one occasion I actually stopped the car and looked down into the cold water. Cars just passed me. It seemed that no one cared. I stood there for a very long time. Then asking myself what I was doing I got back in the car and drove off.
I went to church and prayed for a miracle.
Since Pavla refused counciling, I went on my own. I saw a Psychiatrist. To relive my depression he prescribed Zoloft. I felt as though it did nothing.
At work people noticed what I was going through.
Then in October 1998 I stood in court for the proof up. The judge looked over the divorce papers and asked if we both understood what the divorce was about. We both agreed.
After 8 years and one month our divorce was final.
Right now I look at those 8 years as being both the most wonderful and the most miserable years of my life.
I was made a fool of, no doubt. I have no doubt that Pavla never respected me and had secrete contempt for me from the beginning.
All the same I also know something else. I have a wonderful daughter from the union. I also knew, for the first time in my life what true love is.
I am now a stronger man. I no longer go looking for bridges. I searched my soul and made friends with Jesus Christ. I will forever exercise caution when giving my heart away. I sometimes am bitter but only for a short time. I believe now that I am capible of love and the truest form of love is to love God and then to love yourself.
The wedding was almost perfect. I made all of the arrangements myself. My wife being a foreign national had little knowledge of the american marriage customs. In her homeland, weddings were usually celibrated only with a small group of friends and immidiate family. Church weddings are not recognized by the state and if they take place at all they follow the state wedding. She was agnostic anyway so it mattered little how we celibrated the wedding.
It took place in a church. The only girl she invited could not make it so the entire wedding was attended by my family and friends only. The reception was indescribable. We had a live band. Everything was according to how it was supposed to be. My bride was overwhelmed by it all.
Then we had our honeymoon. It was done on a shoestring. We went to Door county Wisconsin. It was September and the fall set in a bit early. It rained a lot but we had time for fun.
Well as time went on, I started working again. Pavla (the wife) got a job and things returned to normal.
Our sex life at that time was good. We were not rich but we were happy.
Then came the baby.
My daughter was born exactly one year after the marriage. It became the focus of our lives. We stopped going out on weekends and spent time careing for our baby.
The sex was less and less often. It went from being every day to once a week and then once a month.
Pavla wanted more and more things. We took vacations and had no money left over. Money was not important to me but it was sure hard to make ends meet.
I worked evenings at this job but decided to find a job that paid better. I did get such a job but it did not last. I decided to change careers. I began studying Novell Networking. I spent lots of time studying. Between work and studying I had little time at home.
Once my studies were complete I found myself drifting from job to job. In the meantime Pavla wanted to get a house. Everyone else has a house so why dont we get one.
We did get a house and I thought our troubles were over. To be sure I did get a decent job at a company (the same one I have now). There was one little hitch though. Pavla knew that we could not afford a house if we paid for it on our own. It was necessary to now rent out our house, or part of it to guests.
Our paid guests were four Czech men. They seemed ok at first. They worked as roofers. On weekends they stayed up late and partied in the back yard. They made a mess of the place but I did not mind. Pavla explained that it was necessary to be kind to them. After a while they all left except for one guy by the name of Martin. Martin soon brought his wife over. She was also Czech. She had two kids with her, a 10 year old kid named Tom and a 3 year old also named Martin.
As a couple they were rather obnoxious. They screamed and yelled a lot. Martin fixed up the basement into an appartment. They moved downstairs and I saw little of them. What did bug me was that now I was working early mornings, expecially weekends and I could hear the noise of the people downstairs. Pavla was often downstairs as well. Then other people came into our lives. Pavla had one friend named Pavel. He seemed kind and friendly at first, but I couldnt help noticing that Pavla spent a lot of time with him.
At this time, I may add, our sex life had ended all together.
Then during the summer, the year was 1997, Pavla planned a trip to Florida. She planned two weeks. I only had a week from work. She insisted on this though. She also was to go with Pavel, little Tom, our daughter and Martins sister. After I insisted she agreed to not take Pavel. Well then she told me that Pavel and Martin's sister Petra were planning to hitchhike to Florida and she was afraid. I reluctantly agreed to let them go.
I was to meet them in Orlando a week after they left.
I flew to Orlando and stayed in a cheap motel in Kissamee. I did not hear from them for three days. Then they arrived. I really felt uneasy. It seemed that Pavla and Pavel were spending a lot of time.
Then I found out from my own daughter that Pavla and Pavel were sleeping in the same room throughout the trip.
It was a shock that I could not describe.
I brought up this matter with Pavla. She said it was not true and grew angry with me. Pavel just refused to talk about it.
In September of that year Pavel took off. Nobody really missed him. Not even Pavla. It seems they had a spat of some kind.
I thought my problems were over but they were not. Pavla moved into another room with my daughter. She did not give me a reason. She started staying out all night.
As a last ditch effort I planned a romantic dinner by candel light. I cooked filet mignon with bacon stips, a premium wine and black forest cake. I told her ahead of time I was making dinner. She came home that night, looked at the dinner I made and told me she was not hungry. She then went out for the night. I could do nothing but cry.
Later one night, on my birthday in fact I heard music from downstairs and laughing. I went there and there was a party. I did not know most of the people but pretended to be enjoying myself. One guy asked me who I was and I told him I owned the place. I told him Pavla was my wife. He then started telling me how his friend and Pavla were having an affair. I had trouble understanding him. He was drunk and he was foreign besides. All the same I knew it was really bad.
The next day Pavla came home from being out all night. I told her angerly, that I wanted this to stop. Ether she was my wife or she was not. I asked her if she loved me and she said no. I asked her if she wanted to go get counciling and she said no. For years I tried to drag her to a marriage counciler but now I realized it was too late.
I began working on the divorce. Pavla wanted the house but I insisted not. Not only could she not afford it but it was my parents who gave us the money for the down payment. It seemed unfair to them that I should just give the house to my ex.
I was now alone. Pavla continued to live in the same house as me but our lives were seperate. Caught in the middle was my daughter. She once told me, in a rather naive way, "Daddy let me talk to mommy". I told here not to bother but she did anyway. Pavla was pissed "How the hell can you bring our daughter into this" she asked.
I drove around at night, looking for bridges. On one occasion I actually stopped the car and looked down into the cold water. Cars just passed me. It seemed that no one cared. I stood there for a very long time. Then asking myself what I was doing I got back in the car and drove off.
I went to church and prayed for a miracle.
Since Pavla refused counciling, I went on my own. I saw a Psychiatrist. To relive my depression he prescribed Zoloft. I felt as though it did nothing.
At work people noticed what I was going through.
Then in October 1998 I stood in court for the proof up. The judge looked over the divorce papers and asked if we both understood what the divorce was about. We both agreed.
After 8 years and one month our divorce was final.
Right now I look at those 8 years as being both the most wonderful and the most miserable years of my life.
I was made a fool of, no doubt. I have no doubt that Pavla never respected me and had secrete contempt for me from the beginning.
All the same I also know something else. I have a wonderful daughter from the union. I also knew, for the first time in my life what true love is.
I am now a stronger man. I no longer go looking for bridges. I searched my soul and made friends with Jesus Christ. I will forever exercise caution when giving my heart away. I sometimes am bitter but only for a short time. I believe now that I am capible of love and the truest form of love is to love God and then to love yourself.