is there such a thing as true trust? i mean, we all imperfect, so we are all bound to break someone's heart every now and then, right?

i just want to livin things up in the relationship forum again

I'm finding that while i can trust my boyfriend implicitly, i feel that he cant trust me, that i will be the one to do the heartbreaking. . . (just a little twist on what you were saying.)

i think once i trust a girl, it gets borring, no excitement.. too much of an old married couple relationship for me..

now i feel like a 16 year old female.. :)

well, i was trusting patrick even before i fell in love with him.... how can you fall in love with a girl if you dont trust her first?

(isnt trust one of the precursors to love?)

in my opinion human beings can't feel absolute love.. love is beautiful, innocent, all that good stuff.. sometimes i think that people (maybe just young people) are in it for emotions and the "feelings" not that they care about the being close at all..

they fool themselves otherwise though

love is a bit more than beautiful and innocent... it's that thing that connects you to another person, and it lets you be who you are, and that person be who he is.... and it makes you feel secure, and i dont think young people cant love.

but if you have a small definition of love then you will never able to experience it. .... besides there are different kinds of loves, they change with each couple, and even w/in relationship love can change as well.... --this is not all bad, either.

Love sucks! It causes misery, pain, confusion, heartache and immense suffering.

Greed is a much better thing. :D

i catch myself thinking sometimes as having a girlfriend as an expense.. almost like a luxury.. i know that sounds bad, maybe it is just me

I think at some point, you just have to give in and trust whole heartedly, The worse that can happen is you get burnt, and I think we have all been there before, and yet we all got over it for the most part.

Originally posted by Wedge
i catch myself thinking sometimes as having a girlfriend as an expense.. almost like a luxury.. i know that sounds bad, maybe it is just me

That is too funny. An expense...lol

Trust comes naturally to people, I believe. Then as we get older, we become a little more cautious, more jaded from being hurt or betrayed. Remember when you were a little kid? It was really easy to trust people then, right? It's like you just naturally wanted to trust people.

I think it's easy to trust. Deep down, everyone wants to trust the person they're close to, and they also want to be trusted. Who wouldn't want that?

My personal rule is that I'll just trust whoever is close to me. Plain and simple, I just do it. I'll do it until I have a reason not to. It doesn't hurt to trust someone. And I think the more UN-trusting you are, the more unhappy you will be in the long run.

I don't trust many people, except my friends.

This is generally how it works. I give them my respect upfront. If they loose my respect, they remain acquaintances; but no one I'd really hang with or trust farther than I could throw them. On the other end, if they keep that mutual respect going, trust usually does arise. Trust arises as a result of that cultivation of respect and friendship.

That's where trust can develop, for me at least.

In my relationship I realise now that I had been giving all my trust to my partner but a few months ago he ruined that trust in a big way, and while we are still together and he is slowly earning the trust back, I will never trust him, or even love him the same way ever again.

I strongly agree with you, Rayne. It's hard to build things up again after you lose faith in somebody, especially when the memories of hurt are still fresh. But if people never forgave, relationships would never last more than a few weeks. (Of course, being forgiven by somebody demands a great deal of dedication. You might not get a second chance.)

There is a very small handful of people -- close, long-time friends -- who I can trust beyond measure because we understand each other, and just as importantly, I know they trust me. It's a mutual thing. These are the kinds of friends you make sure you never lose touch with.

With new aquaintances, I'm willing to trust people enough at face value because I just accept that they're human and will let me down eventually. What kind of a person they prove themselves to be after they let me down will determine how much I'll trust them in the future.

Originally posted by Wedge
is there such a thing as true trust? i mean, we all imperfect, so we are all bound to break someone's heart every now and then, right?

i just want to livin things up in the relationship forum again
After hearing your psycho ex stories... I would be cautious.:eek:

Originally posted by Lowtide

After hearing your psycho ex stories... I would be cautious.:eek:

nice to have sympathy..

it just seems to me that relationships tend to last longer when issuses are happening.. when you have to try to get the partners trust back.. you find out when they do treat you like crap, that you do care about them (imagine that)... and that is when you give the person a second chance.. which you shouldn't but you do anyway, and put your heart on the line once again to a person that you really love, or so you think, that didn't give two ****s about you the week before

when there are issues the relationship lasts longer? ...... pat and I havent had a fight (about the stupid stuff we used to always fight about) in nearly a year. We've also been having so much fun this past year, and also been able to focus on other things. W/out fighting with him over stupid sh!t, i've been able to learn more about me, get into different kinds of hobbies, and still know that i appreciate pat so much.
(not having issues doesnt need to make things boring.)

[but maybe i agree with you just a tiny bit, when you have issues you want to make them right... but a relationship that is running on a fight to fight basis get way tedious after a while.]

http://www.discussanything.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9487



My view on trust.

I think what it comes down to is you you have to be aware of your own personal boundaries. Most people probably aren't aware of what their boundaries are, or they're only semi-conscious of what they are.

I had to actually sit down and think about this for a while, you have to be clear on what it is unnaceptable to you. And even more important is to tell people early on what they are, and if they cross those boundaries then the wall comes down. I think humans will naturally test people to see what they can and can't get away with. If you don't set your rules, then they WILL be set for you. It's the harsh reality.

Most people will appreciate the honesty. And if they don't, do you even want to talk to them at all? And sane, normal people will respect your boundaries if they know what they are.

in my opinion most relationships are more trouble than they're worth. Especially the last one I was in, big waste of time and energy, and in the end I just got my heart broken in the worst way.

Despite what some people(girls) say, you cant just trust someone. Maybe given enough time, and you really know them. Other than that, dont.

Well since I feel that I cannot even trust myself 100%, it is theoretically impossible for me to trust someone else 100%.

My 'trust' of someone is really just reaching a level of comfort to where I assume the person will not do anything that negatively affects me or our relationship.

If that person has a greater potential ability to inflict negativness on me then I need to reach a higher level of comfort.

So even though I trust both my co-worker and my wife, my co-worker has a less potential to negatively affect me and therefore I don't need to reach the same level of comfort with him as I would my wife.

I also agree with Dilbert thats its often how the person responds to the negative situations that weigh more with me then how they are at face value.

I think trust means different things to different people. In my opinion, trust does NOT mean:

-Turning into a moron
-Not thinking for yourself anymore
-Believing that the person will NEVER hurt you
-Not being realistic
-Having too high of expectations

It does mean:

-Giving the person a fair chance to keep your trust
-Having faith in them
-Giving them the opportunity to help the trust grow stronger

I think if a person knows that you trust them, and if they know you're serious, then they will do their best to keep your trust. But if someone you trust betrays you, if you didn't tell them beforehand what will destroy your trust (ie outright lying, cheating, not keeping their word, etc), then you are partially responsible.

Originally posted by ChaoticThoughts
Despite what some people(girls) say, you cant just trust someone. Maybe given enough time, and you really know them. Other than that, dont.


Not just girls say this.

"Not just girls say this."

Well...Guys will say anything to have sex. But thats pretty much all the trust we want. Trust just enough for sex, and you could not trust us in any other way. its ok.

Well...Guys will say anything to have sex.

Correction: Guys who are mentally coming from a position of WEAKNESS and POVERTY will say anything to have sex. They have no choice.


But thats pretty much all the trust we want. Trust just enough for sex, and you could not trust us in any other way. its ok.

Speak for yourself. Just because something might be true for you doesn't make it true for everyone else.

I think the majority of lies men make to women are for or over sex. Thats all im saying.